Whenever I Fall
by miracle'of'words
Summary: Monica is looking for a boyfriend. Good thing she has Chandler. He sets her up with the perfect guy. But then he realizes that he wants to be her boyfriend. Is it too late for him?
1. Chapter 1

_Hello guys, I had a lot to do lately and to work off all the stress I decided to write a little something. Well, when I started to write this story I thought it's gonna be just a short one, but now, here I am, having already written more than I ever did for another story._

 _So, if you enjoy the first part of my new story: good for you, there are a lot more chapters to come. If you don't enjoy it: don't read it! :)_

 _Oh, what I need to tell you: This is off canon. It starts after TOW Ross finds out and I know that it's right after Ross and Rachel kissed for the first time. Just assume that didn't happen and concentrate on the part with our favorite couple. ;)_

"Good morning," Phoebe yells as she enters apartment 20. She is breathing heavily because she ran up the stairs. Some guy outside of her own apartment started to talk to her and now she's really late for breakfast at Monica's. And everybody knows what Monica does whenever someone turns up late.

"Hey, Pheebs," Rachel says from the couch, where she is sitting with Ross.

"Where is Monica?" Phoebe asks and looks around the living room and kitchen. Nothing. There is not even coffee yet.

"We don't know. She obviously hasn't woken up yet." Ross shrugs.

"What? Monica? It's almost nine on a Sunday morning!" Phoebe can't believe it. "That never happened before!"

"Maybe she went to bed late yesterday, I don't know," Rachel says. "I spent the whole night at Ross'."

"Aren't you worried?" Phoebe asks.

Rachel shrugs. "We just guessed she's still sleeping."

Phoebe walks over to Monica's bedroom door, knocks and – when she doesn't get an answer – opens the door. Monica's bed looks like nobody even slept in it. It's all tidy.

"She's not there, guys!" Phoebe turns around to face her friends.

"What?" Ross jumps up from the couch. "Then where is she?"

Monica chooses that moment to walk into the apartment. Before she's able to do anything Phoebe and Rachel start to bombard her with questions.

"Guys, I'm alright," Monica tries to calm down the girls. "I fell asleep at Chandler's when I went over there in the morning."

"What?" Rachel asks.

"Why? Were you really that tired?" Phoebe adds.

"Well, no, just …" Monica stutters. "I … well, apparently I'm a loser nobody likes. I don't have a job, no one wants to date me and not even my parents like me. I mean, I can as well bury myself now, because I don't seem to have a future at all." Monica walks over to the door of her bedroom, her shoulders slouching.

Phoebe and Rachel look at each other. "What?" Rachel mouths.

"Monica? What's wrong?" Ross, who gets up from the couch as he sees his sister like that, asks.

"Why don't you ask Chandler?" Monica mumbles, then she walks into her bedroom and closes the door with a loud bang.

Rachel and Phoebe sit down on the couch and also Ross sinks down again.

"Do you understand that?" Ross asks, thinking that maybe the girls get his sister better as he does right now.

Rachel shakes her head slowly. "No, what is wrong with her? Why would she say something like that?"

"I mean, it's not _Monica_ to tell us things like that. Of course, she is not the most self-secure person in the world, but this was really weird," Phoebe says.

"And what did she mean by 'Ask Chandler'?" Rachel asks.

Ross shrugs. He honestly doesn't understand Monica at the moment. "Where are Chandler and Joey anyway?"

"Well, Joey was on a date last night, which went really well, because he doesn't seem to be back yet," Phoebe says. "And I have no idea where Chandler is. Normally he is here every morning to get breakfast. It's weird that he isn't here the one time Monica doesn't make any."

"Maybe he went to work," Rachel suggests.

"Oh, Rachel, come on, it's Sunday. Chandler doesn't go to work on a Sunday," Phoebe says, feeling more and more angry with Chandler. She can't say why, but something isn't right and she just has the feeling that it's all Chandler's fault.

"Then where is he?" Ross asks, looking towards Monica's bedroom worried, because his sister is still in there, not making any sound.

"I think he got into a fight with Monica. That's the only explanation on why she is so down and he's not there," Phoebe says. "And do you know what makes me really angry? That he was the one who did that to her. Chandler! He loves Monica, why would he do that? Why?"

"Phoebe, calm down," Rachel laughs. "You don't even know if you're right about it."

"I'm sure she is," Ross joins now. "That idiot hurt my little sister and now I'm going to hurt him!"

"We need to ask him what happened. Maybe he doesn't even know what going on. Maybe he …"

The door opens again and Chandler walks into the apartment, with a big smile on his face. "Good morning, children!"

"What did you do?" Ross asks angrily.

"What? Oh, yes, I'm sorry I'm late, but this morning I had the best sleep since forever! It was so relaxing and …"

"No, you jerk," Phoebe interrupts him. "What did you do to Monica?"

"Monica?" Chandler asks confused.

"Yes, don't act like you don't know what we are talking of, Chandler!" Phoebe sounds pissed.

"She came in a few minutes before you and was really down and said stuff like she's a loser and nobody likes her, not even her parents," Rachel tells. "And when we asked her what's up, she told us to ask you! So what did you do to her, Chandler?"

Chandler's smiles fades. "Oh no. Oh no, no, no, no! I … Shit … I didn't want to exercise today, because, come on, it's Sunday and she was standing in front of my door at six in the morning. No one exercises on a Sunday, you understand that, right?" Chandler takes a deep breath after all this rambling.

"That might be right," Ross says. "But it doesn't explain why Monica is all bumped out because of something you've said."

"She was so terribly full of energy and was dancing in front of me and … and it was six on a Sunday morning, so I … I might have tried to bump her out. I might have said some things that I shouldn't have said about her not having a job or a boyfriend and how she disappoints her parents. That was the only way to stop her talking me into exercising. She was suddenly very sad and wanted to lie down on the couch. I was so happy and proud of me, because I was able to get some more sleep."

"Congratulations, idiot," Phoebe says.

"Phoebe, what …" Chandler begins, but Phoebe interrupts him again.

"She is in there, probably crying," she points to Monica's bedroom. "You know how insecure about herself Monica is, right?"

Chandler nods ruefully.

"Then why do you tell her stuff like that?"

"I was tired and I couldn't think straight. Good God, she wanted me to exercise and I was still sore from the exercising we did all week."

"That's not the point," Phoebe yells, her head red.

Rachel gets up quickly and puts a hand on Phoebe's arm. "Phoebe, calm down." Then she turns to Chandler. "Look, Chandler, maybe Monica exaggerated a bit …" She looks at Chandler. "Okay, maybe she exaggerated a lot, but that doesn't give you the right to tell her all these things. Out of all of us, I always thought you know and understand her best, Chandler!"

"I do. And I couldn't do anything to hurt her."

"Well, I think you just did," Phoebe begins, but Rachel holds her back again.

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry, I didn't mean to do that."

"You shouldn't be apologizing to us, Chandler." Rachel says quietly. She points to the door of Monica's bedroom. "Go in there and talk to _her_."

"What am I supposed to say?" Chandler ruffles his hair with his left hand.

"Oh, now you ask us, what …" Ross begins, but Rachel shushes him.

Then she puts one of her hand on Chandler's arm to calm him down. "You'll say the right thing," she whispers.

* * *

Monica lays on her bed, with her face down when she hears a knock on her door. "No!" she yells. She doesn't want to talk to anyone. Everyone is just pretending to like her, probably only because they don't want to starve. Now that she thinks about it – and she has been thinking about it the last half an hour since she came back from Chandler's apartment – she asks herself why she didn't realize it sooner: that no one really likes her. It's clear: Rachel needs her, because she is the one that guarantees her a roof over the head. Ross was only hanging out with her because he wanted to get to know Rachel. Phoebe is probably just here because she feels like she owes Monica something for giving her the chance to live with her and for Joey she is just an attachment to all his other friends. And Chandler, well she thought he was different, but obviously he doesn't like her either. Maybe it makes him feel good to hang out with her, because that way he doesn't feel like the only loser in the group.

Someone knocks at her door again. Monica sighs. "I don't want to talk," she mumbles quietly, the person standing outside of her door probably doesn't even hear her.

Monica hears the sound of her door opening. "Do you need me to make breakfast?" She asks annoyed.

"Actually, I came to apologize," Chandler begins. "But after that I'd love some breakfast!"

Monica startles up, having not expected Chandler at all. "What do you want?"

"Monica, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel bad. Believe me, Mon, I … I wasn't thinking straight, I was too tired. I know that that's not an excuse, but … I didn't want to exercise and you didn't even listen to me. Don't get me wrong, it's not your fault, but I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry, Mon, I'm so sorry, can you …"

"You don't have to apologize for saying the truth," Monica mumbles.

"What?"

"I said, you don't have to apologize for saying the truth. You're right, I am a loser and I'm sorry that you are all forced to hang out with me. But if you don't want to, you can just tell me and then I will …"

"Stop, Monica, don't say that. We are not forced to hang out with you. I can only speak for myself, but I love to hang out with you. And I'm sure it's the same with the others."

"I can't stop thinking about all the flaws other people don't like about me," Monica says quietly.

"Monica…"

"What? What about my inability to keep even the easiest job? And why is no male human being able to stay with me longer than … a few days or weeks? I'm a mess!"

"Mon, these words came from me. I said them. But will you just take a second and look at me? I'm not the one to judge. I mean, I'm the biggest loser that has ever walked this planet.

"You're not, Chandler. You're funny and smart and charming."

"And you are caring and great and also funny. And smart. _And_ charming."

"I don't know about that…"

"Hey, Mon, if I can accept all the things you said to me, I think you should accept the ones I said to you. It's only fair."

Monica sighs. He has a point. If she's looking at him now, she doesn't know why she thought earlier he would just hang out with her because he doesn't want to be the only loser in the group. Actually, he's always really sweet; he can't be acting all of it.

"You're right, Chandler. Thank you for coming to see me." She stands up from her bed and walks towards the door. "But don't say things like this morning to me again, okay?"

"Never!" Chandler promises. Monica's hand is already on the door knob when Chandler shouts. "Mon?"

"Yes?"

"Please don't ever forget that you're absolutely and one hundred percent my favorite person, okay?"

"Oh, Chandler, stop crawling. I forgave you."

"I mean it, Monica!"

"I know," she smiles. "How about pancakes for breakfast? I'll make your favorite!"


	2. Chapter 2

_I'm glad you like the start of the story. :)_

"Okay, I need a plan," Monica says one night as she is sitting together with Phoebe and Rachel. The boys are at a Knicks game and the girls decided to have a girls' night out which they hadn't in a long time. But somehow they ended up on the couch in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel wanted to talk to them about the whole Ross-thing in silence anyway and Monica didn't mind hanging out at home. Phoebe had stated how boring they got, but in the end she was also fine with hanging out just the three of them.

"A plan?" Rachel asks, confused why Monica said that out of the blue. They were talking about the feelings she has developed for Ross and she wasn't ready with all the question she had.

"Yes. Chandler was right. I _need_ a boyfriend. I can't spend most of my adult life single."

"Why not? What's the problem?" Phoebe asks.

"I need to get an adult life. I need a job, I need to speak to my parents, I need a boyfriend."

"Okay," Rachel says carefully. "But, why don't you start with your parents?"

"Oh no, the boyfriend-thing is definitely the easiest!"

Phoebe and Rachel look at each other, not quite knowing what to say.

"You know, Mon, I'm sure Chandler doesn't mind you not having a boyfriend," Rachel tries slowly.

"That's not about Chandler. It's about me. I really want a serious relationship with a guy that cares about me. Makes me laugh. Stays with me in good or bad. I want someone who looks at me like I'm the only girl in the world. I … I really want that." Monica says and her mind begins to wander. When was the last time she had that? To be honest, she never even had it. There were a few guys in the last years, but nothing serious. Some dates, some nights, but that was it. The last guy she went out with longer than a few days was Kip and to be honest, he wasn't looking at her like she's the only girl in the world at all.

Monica looks at her friends, who both have a worried look on their face. She knows that Phoebe and Rachel might not understand her, because they don't seem to mind that they don't have a long-term relationship. But she's different. She always wished for something like that. A man to grow old with. A family. A happy and full-filled life.

"But running around and looking for a guy to fall in love with – is that really how it works?" Phoebe asks.

"Well, the dream is of course waking up and seeing that one of the guys you always knew is the one, but let's be honest, girls, that ain't gonna happen with the guys we know."

"No, not with the guys we know," Phoebe nods. "Ross is your brother and …" she lowers her voice so that Rachel can't hear her, but of course she does anyway, "… you won't want to get in the way of Rachel anyway. Joey is cute, I must admit, but he's busy having sex with all the women in New York City. And Chandler, well, he's not good at all with girls. You don't wanna have a boyfriend like him."

"No, never," Monica mumbles, but thinks about what she has said earlier. How she described her perfect boyfriend. And then she realizes something: She could as well have described Chandler. All the things she said were true for Chandler. Well, except the thing with the only girl in the world. And anyway, he's her best friend. She shouldn't even allow these thoughts entering her mind. Monica shakes her head. "Where was I?" she asks.

"How you wouldn't go out with any of the guys you know," Phoebe repeats.

And Rachel asks: "So, what do you wanna do now?"

"I haven't thought it through. But maybe you know someone you could set me up with. Do you?"

"Well, we pretty much know the same people, Mon," Rachel laughs.

"Except you want to go out with one of my friends from the street."

"No, thanks, Pheebs," Monica smiles.

"What? They are people, too!"

"I just don't think that one of them is the love of my life."

"Hey, you never know. But it's okay, we'll find you someone."

"But how?" Rachel asks.

"I'm glad you asked," Phoebe smiles. "Because I have a great idea! Is it right that you want a boyfriend who currently has work?"

Monica nods. "That would be great. I mean, I'm not making any money right now, so…"

"Okay, that's easy. We each get another part of Manhattan. Then we hang around the entrance of another big office building each day and look for a decent guy. If we find one who could be the one for Monica we ask him for his number. Oh no, wait! That's too creepy. We are going to follow him a little bit. Just to see where he lives so …"

"And that's not creepy?" Rachel asks, her eyebrows raised and shooting a glance at Monica.

"No!?" Phoebe looks at Rachel. "Come on, we want to see where he lives so we can be sure he has money. I mean, it could be the cleaning lady of the building. We wouldn't want that!"

"Pheebs, we're looking for a guy."

"So what? Guys can't be cleaning ladies?"

"Well, I …" Monica begins but Phoebe cuts her off.

"What century do you live in, Mon? When I was a cleaning lady in one of my past lives there were no men allowed in that job. I didn't like that, because, come on, men should have the same right than women do, so I got together with men and women who thought the same and we fought for men's right to clean, too. It wasn't easy, I have to say, but we totally showed them …"

"Pheebs!"

"What?" Phoebe startles up as if she awakens from a deep sleep.

"You kinda lost the point there."

"Oh right. Where was I? We're going to follow the guy and then, just when he's about to enter his apartment building, we …"

"Phoebe. I don't think that's what we are gonna do!"

"Why not? That would be so much fun!"

"Yes, but also creepy. And secondly, we are not going to hang out before some office buildings just to find Monica's one," Rachel says sternly.

"Well, I always thought that you're a little more boring than I am, and you just gave me two more reasons for that."

"What? Two?"

"Yes, the guy-following-thing and the thing about not wanting to go out."

"Phoebe," Monica says. "You said you're fine with hanging out here."

"Oh, I am fine with it." Phoebe smiles. "I just think it's boring."

Monica rolls her eyes and Rachel, seeing her, starts laughing.

"So, what would you suggest?" Phoebe asks and looks at Monica challenging.

Monica smiles. During Phoebe's monologue she had some time to think about it and now has a great idea. "Well, I thought we could take a big piece of paper. On the paper there will be everything we know about my one. How I think his character should be, the perfect look, his hobbies, where we can find someone like him and so on. We can use different colors and connect stuff with each other and …"

"Oh, _that_ sounds like fun!" Phoebe laughs.

" … and maybe also make a little sketch so we could picture the guy. What do you think?"

"Well, I think …" Rachel begins, but Monica interrupts her. "Great! Let me get a piece of paper!"

Monica gets up and walks quickly towards her bedroom door and Rachel rolls his eyes. Phoebe catches her doing that and giggles. "She's all about the fun, right?"

Monica had already written different things down on her big sheet of paper when the door opens and Joey and Chandler enter the apartment.

"How was the game?" Phoebe asks walking towards them. She is happy to get up, because Monica didn't allow her friends to leave the table before the mind map and the sketch are done. She tried, but Monica shot her a killing glance and after that Phoebe was too scared to get up. But now with the boys walking in Monica is distracted for just a second and Phoebe jumps up quickly.

"Ehh…" Joey says as he walks over to the fridge and looks for a beer.

"So, the Knicks sucked?"

Joey startles up and looks at Phoebe furiously. "Hey, the Knicks never _suck_! You gotta understand that, Pheebs. The other team just didn't play fair, that's all."

"Sorry," Phoebe giggles.

"Damn it! Why don't you have any beer here?" Joey snaps at Monica.

"Wow, you're in a good mood, Joey," Rachel laughs.

"Oh, shut up!" Joey shouts and leaves.

"Wow, what's with him?" Rachel asks Chandler.

"Oh, don't even ask. The Knicks lost the game and then Ross said that they weren't playing good today anyway."

"Oh, oh," Phoebe mumbles. They all know how important the Knicks are to Joey and that no one is allowed to say anything bad about them.

"I should check on him, because he might take a knife and visit Ross and then … I'll have to find a new roommate again, which wouldn't be much fun."

"Is he really that pissed?" Rachel asks, the fear for Ross in her face.

"Well, he might as well get drunk and go to sleep early today," Chandler shrugs.

"So, you are not going over?" Monica asks.

"I prefer not passing paths with him today anymore," Chandler grins. "Because of the knife. So, what were you up to?"

"We talked," Monica says evasively.

"We discussed Monica's boyfriend," Phoebe says at the same time and Monica looks at her, not believing what her friend had just said.

"What? You have a boyfriend now?" Chandler turns to Monica. "Why haven't you told me?"

"I don't have a boyfriend," Monica says, rolling her eyes in the direction of Phoebe.

"No, she wants one though. We're gonna find her one," Phoebe says and Monica thinks about putting a band-aid across her mouth to shut her up.

"You're going to find her on, just like that?" Chandler asks, confused. "Did I miss something? Can you buy boyfriends now? Because if so, they should also sell girlfriends!"

"No, they are not selling them."

"We gonna keep our eyes open. You can, too, if you want."

Chandler nods confused. "Okay."

"Phoebe, why did you do that?" Monica asks as soon as Chandler has left. He was so confused about the conversation with Phoebe that he didn't even mind going home and risk to see Joey in his bad mood.

"What? It's always better to have eight eyes looking than six."

"Yeah, but was it necessary to tell him everything. It was embarrassing."

"Hey, it's Chandler! I thought you tell him anything anyway."

"Well, yes, _I_ do. By myself and when I want to. Not when you decide that 'eight eyes see more than six eyes'." Monica copies Phoebe and sounds really annoyed.

"I'm sorry. I just thought since Chandler is so bad with women, maybe he's better with men."

Monica rolls her eyes. She shouldn't be angry with Phoebe just because she told Chandler about her plan. Phoebe is right: She probably would have told him anyway. But something doesn't feel right about telling Chandler she is looking for a boyfriend. Monica doesn't know what the problem is, but she wishes Phoebe would have just shut up.


	3. Chapter 3

"… and that's when I decided that I wanna be a chef," the man sitting across from Monica finishes his story.

Monica didn't even listen to the entire story. After the first few sentences she got the feeling that the story isn't getting any more exciting, so she thought about the things she has to do the next day. When Phoebe told her that she found Monica's perfect match two days ago, Monica was thrilled. Andy is the brother of Phoebe's co-worker's friend and Monica said yes to the date immediately. According to Phoebe's co-worker, Andy has a great sense of humor and is very charming. He just didn't have any luck with women in the past. The thing that convinced Monica in the end though was the fact that Andy's a chef like her. Having the same passion is the most important thing, according to Monica. But it turned out that Andy isn't a passionate chef. Monica didn't hear the whole story, but she heard that Andy is a chef because he didn't know what to do and "kinda had the feeling that cooking is the only thing he can do at least a little". That's all. Not the infinite joy Monica feels whenever she is in a kitchen. The fact that she knew she wanted to be a chef since she cooked her first meal. That was the moment she knew she is destined to cook, even though her father and Ross tried to hide her disgust and Monica's mother once more demotivated her. Andy just didn't know what else to do and that annoys Monica a little bit. People like that shouldn't be allowed in a kitchen. It just isn't fair. She doesn't have a job and someone like Andy …

"Monica?"

Monica startles up. She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't even hear the question Andy obviously asked her.

"Sorry?"

"Are you alright? You don't seem like you are."

Wow, Andy is a lot more attentive than he seems. Monica blushes. "Sorry. I … I have a headache and that really bugs me," she says elusively.

"Do you want to go home?"

Monica nods relieved. "That would be great. Thank you."

After Andy had paid and praised the dinner they start to walk towards her apartment building.

"So," Andy clears his throat. "Lily couldn't tell me which restaurant you work at." It's a sentence, but Andy makes it sound like a question.

Monica sighs. Is this man able to talk about anything else than cooking and kitchen? "Um, I'm out of work right now," she says quickly and hopes that Andy will just nod along and not ask any questions.

"Oh, no, sorry, I didn't know that. Sorry, it must be horrible for you to hear me talking about your job all the time. I … I won't ask any weird questions. It … it doesn't concern me why you don't find a job, but at the same time lots and lots of new restaurants open each week. Oh, sorry, I … I … didn't mean to sound mean. It's o … okay to not work for a while and … if you …"

Monica closes her eyes and tries not to listen to Andy's embarrassing rambling. No wonder this man hasn't had any luck with women in the past. He talks about cooking all the time, in a boring way though, and starts to ramble as soon as the conversation digresses from a safe topic. And he doesn't stop, Monica now notes. Kinda like Chandler, Monica thinks and giggles. But then she shakes her head: Worse than Chandler. Much worse. Even though Chandler rambles a lot as well, it never gets boring with him. Monica could listen to Chandler's rambling all day laughing a lot and without getting bored.

Finally she sees her apartment building coming into sight and Monica sighs with relief. Finally.

"This is my home," Monica says quickly, not paying any attention on Andy, who was still talking.

"Oh," Andy takes a deep breath. "It's sad that this night is already over, but I hope you're feeling better soon."

"What?" Monica asks.

"Your headache. I hope that's better soon."

Monica has totally forgotten about her made-up excuse earlier. "Thanks a lot, Andy, and thanks for dinner."

"Oh, it was great," Andy says and smiles. "Maybe we can do it again some time?"

Monica looks at him and sighs. She has to tell him now. It wouldn't be fair to raise his hopes now. "Andy, it was great, but I don't think we should do it again."

Andy's smile vanishes and he looks down to his shoes. "Okay, well, take care, Monica." He holds out his hand to her.

Monica takes his hand. "You, too, Andy. Bye."

A small smile appears on Andy's face again and he turns to leave. Monica smiles at him, too, and walks into the building quickly. She does feel sorry for Andy, because he was a nice man, but she can't raise his hopes when she feels absolutely nothing.

In her apartment Monica just wants to go to her bedroom. She doesn't feel like talking to anyone.

"Don't you wanna thank me?" Monica turns around at Phoebe's voice.

"What?

"Well, I set you up with the perfect man, right?"

Monica rolls her eyes. All she wants to do right now is go to bed and sleep. But Phoebe won't go, Monica knows that much. She sighs and sinks down onto the couch.

"Well…"

"No! Don't _well_ me. Tell me how great it was. Please, Monica. One of them has to be right."

Phoebe looks desperate, but Monica has to shake her head. She knows that Rachel and Phoebe threw themselves into finding a boyfriend for Monica and that they presented her a lot of men during the last few weeks, but no one seems to be the right one. It doesn't always end with the first date, but after the third date it's over at the latest.

"What was wrong with Andy?" Phoebe sighs.

"He was boring."

"You said that about at least three men in the last few weeks."

"Pheebs, he really was. I had to listen to him talking about cooking all the time!"

Phoebe bursts out laughing. "Really? And you don't do that?"

"No!"

"Oh, please, Monica! Most of the time you talk about cooking as well."

"That is not true!"

"Well, maybe not all the time, but often."

"He did it all the time." Monica says to emphasize her point. "And I didn't feel a spark."

"I'm starting to think that you are not able to feel a spark."

"Sorry, Phoebe, but I don't try to make it hard for you, I promise."

"I know," Phoebe nods and hugs Monica. "You'll find the one. I know it. Good night, Mon!"

"Good night, Phoebe. See you tomorrow."

As soon as the door closed after Phoebe, it opens again. "And I don't want to think about it!" Monica says, still sitting on the couch. She thinks she knows what Phoebe came back for.

"You don't have to," Chandler says and smiles.

"Chandler? What are you doing here?"

"I didn't know what to do and I heard you coming back, so I decided to come over. What are you up to?"

"Do I talk about cooking too much, Chandler?"

Chandler frowns. "What?"

"Do you think I talk about nothing else than cooking?"

"Who says that?"

"Phoebe."

"What?" Chandler looks at her surprised. "Why?"

"I went on that date with a guy who couldn't stop talking about cooking and I told Phoebe about it and she said I'm the same. I don't want to annoy you guys, so if you're bored I'll stop."

"That is not true, Mon. You talk about other things as well."

"Yes?"

"Of course. You talk about a lot of things. About cleaning. About how untidy my closet is. About my disability to keep a woman."

"Really?"

"Of course. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, Mon. You're a great woman the way you are."

"Oh, you sounded differently a few weeks ago."

Chandler sighs. He knew that Monica still isn't over the things he said when he wanted to stop working out with her. He felt that it's not the same between them anymore. They talk, of course, but it's always a little weird and they don't seem to be one-hundred percent comfortable with each other how they used to be. This has never happened with Monica before and Chandler hates himself for saying the things he said. Because he can never take them back and now Monica is insecure. And he is supposed the only insecure one of them. Not her. Never her.

"Listen, Monica, I am really, really so…"

"You don't have to apologize again, Chandler," Monica smiles. He has done that at least fifty times over the last few weeks. Even though she forgave him right after he came see her that morning, he still can't stop apologizing. "We're good."

"To be honest," Chandler blushes. "I don't feel like we are."

"What?"

"It feels different and I hate myself for it," Chandler mumbles, his eyes locked to the floor.

"It's not. Chandler, we're good," Monica pats his knee to reassure him.

"Do you want to go get some lunch tomorrow? We haven't done that in a while."

Monica smiles. She loves lunch with Chandler. When it's just the two of them they can talk about anything and no one disturbs them. It's great to have Chandler for herself to tell him about her problems and he almost always has a solution. If not, he makes her laugh and that is just as good. "I'd love to," she says.

Finally a smile appears on Chandler's face again. "Okay, great."


	4. Chapter 4

Chandler looks at his watch. Monica must be here now any minute and his colleague Simon from the office next to him doesn't stop talking. The last time Chandler listened the guy was talking about his ex-girlfriend, who was – according to Simon – "an absolute bitch". Since then Chandler has worked for almost ten minutes straight without paying attention to Simon at all.

"… and then I told them that I wouldn't jump off the bridge just because they want me to, so why should I do that?" Simon looks at Chandler questioningly and Chandler shrugs. He is definitely not talking about his ex-girlfriend anymore, that's for sure. Chandler doesn't know what to say.

Simon is still waiting for an answer and Chandler starts sweating. What is he gonna do? Where is Monica when he really needs her? "You know what, Simon?" Chandler asks and gets up from his chair. "I think I'm gonna have a break now."

His hope, that Simon would leave him alone now, gets destroyed by the smile that appears on Simon's face. "Hey, let's go grab something to eat together," he suggests and Chandler moans. Why? He really likes Simon, they even had lunch together many times before, but some days he just talks too much. And today is one of these days. Plus, he hadn't had lunch with Monica in a long time and he's so looking forward to it. He loves when it's just the two of them.

"Oh, Simon, that's not going to work, Monica is coming and …" Monica choses this moment to come around the corner and Chandler has never been happier to see her.

She copies the smile on his face and gives him a tight hug. "Sorry, I'm a little late, but Rachel was talking and talking and I didn't even listen to her anymore and …"

Chandler laughs out loud.

"What?" Monica asks confused.

"I'm just happy to spend my lunch break with you, Mon," Chandler smiles and puts his arm around Monica to lead her out of his office. At the door he turns around to Simon. He is standing there with his eyes locked on Monica's back and his mouth wide-opened. Chandler rolls his eyes, but smiles proudly. Monica does look great today and it's him who takes her out for lunch. "Bye, Simon," he says to his colleague, who startles up. "See you later."

"Thank you," Chandler says to Monica as soon as they are in the elevator. "He wouldn't stop talking and then he wanted to spend the lunch break with me. I really enjoy spending time with Simon, he's a great guy, but sometimes he just talks too much. I wasn't even listening towards the end."

Monica smiles. "I'm always happy to be the hero who saves you, honey."

"You're the best! What do you wanna eat?"

"How about we grab something to go and go eat it at the park? It's such a sunny day today!"

Chandler nods. He doesn't really care where they go to. As long as he gets to spend time with his favorite girl it's all good to him.

"So, how is the boyfriend-plan working so far?" Chandler asks cautiously. He hasn't asked Monica about that, because he felt like it doesn't concern him, but he really wanted to know if she has already had a date with a promising man.

"Not as good as I thought it would go," Monica admits with a sad smile on her face. "Am I crazy, Chandler?"

"No, you're definitely not crazy, Mon," Chandler shakes his head vehemently. He hates how heartbroken Monica looks. She seems to really suffer from being alone.

"I just want to have someone I could trust and who cares about me."

Chandler wants to say that he will always care about her, that she is the person in his life he cares about the most. He wants to tell her that she can always trust him and that there's not one thing that could make him leave her. Ever. But he doesn't say anything, because he knows that that's not the thing she wants to hear. She has – including him – five great friends, but what Monica wants right now is a relationship. And Chandler understands her. He himself often thinks how happy he would be with someone by his side. But life doesn't want to give him this kind of luck. Life laughs at him and makes him even worse with every woman he goes out with.

"I want two arms to fall asleep in," Monica ends her monologue and smiles insecurely. "Is that needy?"

Chandler shakes his head again. "No, Mon, it's not. You deserve all that so much and you will get it. I know that, because you are made for being someone's girlfriend, fiancé and wife. But maybe you shouldn't look for a man. Maybe he's coming to you when you expect it the least."

"Do you really think so?" Monica doesn't look convinced.

"Of course, Monica! I'm sure you just have to wait patiently and – boom – you'll have your Mr. Perfect."

"I was never good at patience," Monica sighs.

"I know," Chandler chuckles and puts his arm around her shoulder. "It won't take long, I promise. He's just around the corner and – oh, my God – are you gonna blow him away!"

Monica's mouth turns into a bright smile and she puts both of her arms around Chandler's waist to hug him tightly. "How come no woman ever realized how great _you_ are, Chandler?" Monica asks and Chandler can tell by her face that she's being serious and doesn't try to tease him.

He shrugs. "I guess I'm just not good enough for them. I mean, look at me. It's like "boy whose father abandoned him because of the pool boy and whose mother didn't care about him enough" is written all over my forehead. I don't make boyfriend material."

Monica turns her head to look at him. "Well, honey, don't worry. Your forehead isn't even that big to fit that whole sentence on it." She laughs, but gets serious again just a second later. "And who would say that you aren't boyfriend material?"

"It sounds like something you would say," Chandler teases.

"I would never say that, Chandler. I know what a great guy you are and if there is something written all over your forehead, it's "the most caring guy you'll ever know". Because that is who you are now. You are not this unsecure boy who was left by both of his parents, Chandler. I took care of that a long time ago already."

Chandler smiles. "You did?"

"Of course. I did a wonderful job. And I didn't say that because I always want to be the best, but because you turned out to be great."

"Thanks, Mon," Chandler mumbles, a little ashamed about how she is praising him. He doesn't think he deserves that much praise, but as long as Monica says stuff like that voluntarily he won't stop her.

"Once again, I'm happy to be your hero," Monica smiles.

"Alright, Super-Mon, what do you say we go back? As much as I love talking to you I have to go back to this job I hate."

"At least you have one …"

"Hey, stop, no more negative thoughts during this break, okay? We covered that already!"

"You're right. I won't say anything."

* * *

"Oh my God!" Chandler looks up and buries his face into his hands. He came back from his lunch break five minutes ago and was just beginning with his work again.

"Simon, it's you again. Don't you have to work?" He asks with a fake smile on his face.

"I'm not really busy today, but that's not why I came over. Chandler, you are the luckiest guy on this planet."

Chandler smiles. "I know. I love my job, too. And to spend my work time with _you_ – well I _am_ the luckiest guy in this world!"

"No, idiot. Your girlfriend! She is hot!"

"My girlfriend?" Chandler thinks about a girl who Simon could possibly see as his girlfriend.

"Yeah! That girl who picked you up for the lunch break. She's a keeper!"

"Oh, you mean Monica? That's just Monica!" Chandler laughs. There were some situations where Monica and he were mistaken for a couple, but no one ever envied him because of her.

"Just Monica?" Simon frowns.

"No, of course not _just_ Monica. She's Monica. My friend Monica. She is in no way _just_. Please don't tell her I said _just_!"

"Woah, I won't, Chandler. Calm down. I don't even know her."

"Oh, yeah, right," Chandler takes a deep breath.

"But now that I know she's not your girlfriend, I could get to know her, right?"

It takes a little while for Chandler to understand that Simon is trying to ask him for Monica's number.

"You want to go out with Monica?" Chandler asks confused.

"Yeah, if it's okay with you?"

Chandler wants to say no. No, because he is the lucky guy in this building who gets to have lunch with the greatest girl ever and no one will ever be allowed to take her away from him. But suddenly he remembers the heartbroken look she gave him when she told him how she wants to have a boyfriend. How he told her she has to be patient, the right guy will find her. And then he realized that maybe it's Simon she is waiting for. Maybe he is Mr. Perfect for Monica. What if Chandler says no now? It would be his fault if Monica would never be able to meet him. She'd probably end up alone or with the wrong guy and it would all be his fault.

Simon is still looking at him curiously and also a little bit nervously. He looks like he feels really uncomfortable asking Chandler all that and it must have cost him a lot of courage to do so.

"Of course that's okay," Chandler says with his heart beating fast. He doesn't know why he doesn't feel good about saying that. It's what Monica wants. She even asked him for it. Well, not she herself, but Phoebe. And he's sure that Monica wouldn't mind. But still there is a weird feeling in Chandler's chest, something telling him he's not doing the right thing.

But it's too late, Simon starts to smile widely. "Thanks, man. You know, I was really worried about asking you, because … yeah, well, I don't know Monica yet, but she looks like she's way out of my league. And I'm not so good with women, you might know that. So I thought …"

Chandler sighs. Simon starts rambling again. Now that he looks at his colleague, Chandler realizes something: Simon is a lot like him. He has the same talent to repel every woman, he hates his job, he starts to ramble when he's nervous. They have definitely a lot in common.

"Chandler?"

"Yes?" Damn it, one of these days he has to start paying attention to what Simon is saying. It's the second time today he missed a question.

"I think it's best when you ask your friend first. I mean, if it's okay that you want to give me her number. And if she says yes, she can call me. Or you," Simon blushes. "I … I meant, you can call me to tell me what she said. I … I don't want _you_ to call me, you know?"

Chandler laughs. "It's okay, Simon. I understood. And I think that's a great plan, we'll do it that way."

"Thank you so much, Chandler. I owe you something. I … I don't have a hot friend like her, so I can't set you up, unfortunately. But if you ever need something …"

"Simon, it's okay, really. And … I have to go back to work now."

Simon nods. "Of course, I will let you work now. Wow, I can't believe I really had the courage to ask you," he says, more to himself than anyone else. Then he hurries out of Chandler's office.

Chandler smiles. He's a good guy. And Monica deserves the best. But something comes to his mind. He gets up and runs after Simon. And there he is, outside of Chandler's office, doing something that looks a lot like Chandler's happy dance.

Chandler laughs. They really do have a lot in common. But he gets serious as soon as he remembers what he wanted to tell Simon. "Hey, Simon!" He calls out for his colleague, who jumps around, his head red like a tomato. Chandler smiles at him to show him that everything is okay. He's been there. "Just remember to not play any games with her!" Chandler says, his voice now without any emotions and very serious. "Monica is the best you can find out there. The very best!"

With that he walks back into his office quickly. It was just a thought. He doesn't even know why he had to tell Simon this. Monica hadn't even agreed to go out with Simon yet. But it's important to Chandler that he knows. Because she is important to him.

* * *

 _And that's the guy Chandler finds for Monica. :) What do you think?_


	5. Chapter 5

_And here I am … yet again. :) Thank you for all the kind words you have to say about this story and please keep the reviews coming. It means the world to me. :)_

"Mon! I have great news for you," Chandler shouts as enthusiastic as possible. He just came home from work and decided to tell Monica about Simon first.

"What?" comes Monica's voice from her bedroom.

Chandler walks towards it. "I found you a boyfriend at work today!"

"What?" comes from the bedroom again.

And "What?" comes also from the other side. Ross walks out of the bathroom, his face angry.

"Dude," he hisses towards Chandler. "She is my little sister. Not a thing you advertise for at a business meeting!"

"Ross," Monica has joined the two men in her living room and rolls her eyes. "I'm sure that's not what Chandler did. Will you give us a minute?"

Ross folds his arm, not willing to move a bit.

"Ross," Monica says, harsher this time. "Can I talk to Chandler, alone?"

"We don't have any secrets from each other, right, Chandler?"

Chandler shrugs. He doesn't know what to say. It's always hard to stand between the Geller siblings.

"But maybe … maybe! … I have secrets from my older brother!" Monica rolls her eyes again.

"What?" Ross shouts. "You tell him stuff that I don't know? Since when?"

Monica rolls her eyes so hard that Chandler wants to tell her that her eyes might stop one day if she keeps doing that. "Of course, since forever. Do you want to tell me a girl is not allowed to discuss things with her best friends that she doesn't tell her brother?"

"Not if her brother and said friend are best friends!"

"But if the sister and said friend are best friends, too!"

"But …"

"Ross! Just leave. I'm old enough to talk to Chandler alone," Monica says firmly.

"Fine," Ross shrugs and leaves the apartment, not before shooting an angry glance towards Chandler.

"Wow," Chandler says after Ross closed the door. "I didn't see that coming."

"Why can't he understand that I tell you things that don't concern him?"

"Maybe he's jealous," Chandler guesses.

Monica shrugs. "Okay, I don't wanna talk about Ross now. So, did you advertise for me at a business meeting or what?"

Chandler laughs. He loves how Monica can change from Ross' angry little sister to his humorous best friend in just a second.

"I wanted to. I had a presentation all worked out. But then, right before I wanted to call everyone for the meeting, my colleague Simon came into my office and asked me for your number."

"What?" Monica exclaims.

"I know! I mean, without a presentation. He saw you when you picked me up for lunch earlier and first he thought you're my girlfriend. He even congratulated me. But after I told him that you're not, he asked me if it's okay for him to get to know you. I promised him I'd talk to you. So what do you say?"

"He saw me and decided he wants to get to know me?" Monica asks, not believing what she has just heard.

"You did look stunning today, Mon!" Chandler says and gives her a small smile.

"I did?"

"Of course. Everyone was jealous of me when I walked through the building with you!"

"And you liked that?"

"Sure. Maybe that was the best advertisement for you."

"So, did you give him my number?"

"No," Chandler shakes his head vehemently. "I didn't. I wanted to talk to you first. He gave me his number though, said, you could call him."

"And is he a good guy?"

"Monica," Chandler says with a serious look on his face. "I would never tell you all that if I didn't know Simon's a good guy! It is actually the guy who talked to me when you came into my office earlier."

"The guy you couldn't listen to any longer?"

"Yes, but that was only today. I had a lot of work stuff to do. Normally I really like hanging out with Simon. He's funny. We have a lot in common, actually! That's a good thing, because that way you already know how to handle him."

"He's like you? Oh good God," Monica sighs.

"Hey!"

"Sorry," Monica giggles at the hurt expression on Chandler's face.

"Fine, you don't get his number!" Chandler teases.

"If you say he's a good guy, I'll call him. I couldn't imagine anything better than a Chandler-approved man!"

"He is a good guy. I thought a lot about it. And I think he deserves you."

Monica smiles. Hearing something like that out of Chandler's mouth makes it so much more important to her than hearing it from someone else. She knows that Chandler cares a lot about her and she trusts him with everything. He wouldn't suggest Simon if he'd think anything bad about him.

"Alright, give me this number. I'll call him."

"That's the Monica I know," Chandler laughs. "I will give you some quiet. Simon will be so happy to hear from you!"

He turns to leave, but Monica calls out his name. "Chandler?" She knows him for years now and she has spent enough time with him to know what he is worrying about right now. Even though he is happy for her and laughs and smiles all the time. She knows that there is one thought in his mind since the moment Simon talked to him about her. She pulls him into a tight hug. "You know you'll always be my number one-man, right?"

Chandler holds her tightly and nods. He didn't know what was bugging him since Simon talked to him. But she did. Monica knew exactly what he needed to hear and he couldn't love her more for saying this sentence.

* * *

"Okay, I want to know everything about the guy you set my little sister up with," Ross says as soon as Chandler walks into his apartment. Chandler hasn't expected Ross to be in his apartment and he jumps in surprise when he hears his voice.

"I didn't set her up with him. He asked me about her number and I told him I'd talk to her!"

"So what did she say?" Ross asks curiously.

"Ross, I won't tell you that. It's Monica's thing."

"But I'm her brother!"

"I know, but Monica's really old enough. She won't do anything stupid, I know that!"

"I promise you one thing, Chandler Bing! If she gets hurt by your stupid colleague, I will kill you!"

"Ross, before you'd do that you would have to wait for _me_ to kill _him_."

"Don't make any stupid jokes now, Chandler, I warn you!"

"Ross! Will you calm down? I'm not making any jokes! I'm serious, and that's what I told Simon as well. I told him that she is the best woman he can find anywhere and I told him to take care of her. Ross, we know each other for so long now and you know how much I care for your sister. If I wouldn't be one hundred percent sure that Simon is a good and decent guy, I wouldn't even have mentioned him in front of Monica. You gotta believe me!"

Ross sighs. "You're right. I know how much you love Monica. I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt her. But, you know, she's my sister and I hate that Phoebe and Rachel try to hook her up with random guys. I was angry at you because I always assumed you wouldn't do something like that."

"I wouldn't, Ross. I thought about it and I was very close to say no to Simon. But then I realized something: Maybe he is the guy Monica can be happy with and I don't want to be the reason why Monica would never find her man. Simon and Monica – I think that can really work out."

"Okay, I'm sorry for being such an idiot earlier. I do know how much you care about her. Actually, I think I have a much better feeling with a guy you picked out than with one Phoebe or Rachel suggested."

Chandler smiles. "You know what? Monica said almost the exact same thing. Looks like I'm really got at setting people up with each other. If you'll ever need any help …"

Ross shots him a killing glance once again.

"Oh sorry, I forgot you've got your hands full with both Rachel and Julie," Chandler laughs and hurries into his bedroom before Ross is able to say or do anything.

* * *

"Chandler, you are the best guy in the world," Simon greets Chandler after the weekend. Chandler smiles. Monica had already told him that the date with Simon went really well, but she was very nervous if Simon liked it, too. Chandler then knew that it was different than with the man she went out with before. She never wondered if he liked the date as well. He promised her to ask Simon at work, but seeing him with the big smile on his face now Chandler doesn't even need to ask a question. He sees it in the bright eyes of Simon. His smile. His whole face.

"That's a sentence I like to hear on a Monday morning," Chandler laughs.

"Oh my God, Chandler! I still can't believe _I_ was able to have such a date."

"So, I assume it went well?" Chandler asks, his question more a rhetorical one.

Simon falls down on the chair across from Chandler. "I never met a woman I just clicked with," Simon confesses and smiles sheepishly. "We were able to talk for hours. She is so good at listening. I felt like I could trust her with everything."

"I know," Chandler smiles. That's one of Monica's talents. When she listens to you it's like you are the only person in the world for her.

"And she is very funny," Simon continues.

"I know," Chandler repeats. Being funny is kind of his thing, but Monica comes really close after him. She has a great sense of humor, one she copied from him a little bit, and he hopes that he is able to teach her a lot more in the future.

"Chandler, did you know that Monica is also really good at giving advice?" Simon suddenly laughs.

Chandler bursts out laughing. "Of course I know," he says. Monica is by far the best person to turn to when you need advice. She has a natural instinct of telling you just the right thing.

"I know I only went out with her once, but I think I'm safe to say she's perfect."

"I know," Chandler mumbles, suddenly having a weird feeling in his stomach again. Of course he knows how perfect Monica is, but he hates that Simon thinks he knows that as well after only one date. You can't get just how great Monica is after one date. That's not possible. He knows her for years now and he still notices things he likes about her almost every day. Simon can't say that after just one date. Suddenly Chandler is annoyed. He was very sure that setting Monica up with Simon would be a good idea, but he isn't anymore. Chandler doesn't feel good about the idea at all now.

Simon is still sitting across from him, smiling stupidly and Chandler tries not to roll his eyes. He points at his desk. "Simon?"

"Yes?" His colleague asks, in a way that shows he has been thinking about something else.

"I really have to work now," Chandler says clearly.

"Oh," Simon gets up quickly. "I didn't want to disturb you, but I'm just too happy to not talk about it. Thanks again for your help, man. I owe you big time."

With a last beaming smile Simon leaves his desk. Chandler takes a deep breath. Finally. He couldn't listen to him praising Monica any longer. He honestly doesn't know why, but he feels something bad in his stomach that isn't going away.

He tries to ignore it for now and goes back to work. Because he is here to work, not to worry about his colleague and his best friend.

He has worked for about an hour when his phone suddenly rings.

"Chandler Bing?"

"Hi Chandler."

Chandler sighs. It's said best friend.

"Mon! Hey, what's up?"

"You know what! Did you already have the possibility to talk to Simon?" Monica asks nervously.

"Yes. But I …"

"And? What did he say?"

"Mon, I can't talk now. He could be able to hear me and I'm supposed to be working right now anyway."

"But I can't wait till you come home. I'm so nervous, I already cleaned my apartment twice!"

"It's only 8.30, Mon!"

"I know!" Her catchphrase comes out more hysterical than usually.

"Okay, how about you come over for lunch?"

"Great. I'll pick you up!"

"No. Mon, don't come up here. I'm meeting you in front of the building."

"Why?"

"I don't want my colleagues to fight over you," Chandler whispers.

Monica laughs. But it's a nervous laughter.

"I see you at lunch time, Mon," Chandler says.

" Okay," Monica says slowly. And after a few seconds she continues: "Um, Chandler? Can I clean your apartment now?"

Chandler sighs. "When you feel the need to, of course."

"Oh thank God," Monica says relieved. Chandler pictures her already running around collecting her utensils.

"Bye Mon," Chandler says, but Monica doesn't answer anymore. She has probably cleaned his apartment once already.

* * *

On Friday evening Chandler walks up the stairs. He's tired. He had so much to do at work this week and it wasn't getting better with Simon walking into his office more than twice a day asking him questions about Monica. His colleague and Monica have been going out almost every night this week and they still can't get enough of each other. They both talk about the other all the time and Chandler is very close to freak out. The weird feeling in his stomach has not gone away since Monday and he still doesn't know why he has it.

All he wants to do now is have a beer and hang out with his friends. That's why he doesn't even go to his apartment, but opens the door to apartment 20. Someone will be there already for sure. And he is right. Monica, Rachel and Ross are sitting at the table talking.

"No way! That's not possible. No one would do that!" Rachel exclaims.

"That's where you are wrong," Ross corrects her in his 'I told you I'm better'-voice Chandler – and he thinks it's safe to say his other friends do so, too – hates. "It's totally normal for a guy to do that."

Monica rolls her eyes and Chandler smiles. If he would have been here for the whole conversation between Ross and Rachel he would definitely look at Monica now and they would both roll their eyes. He loves these moments between them when one of their friends says something and they will just have the same thought at the same time and look at each other. It makes him feel even more connected with her.

"Hey guys," he shouts because they didn't even realize him yet. He was totally captured in watching Monica and the expression on her face, that changed from amused to annoyed in a few seconds.

Monica looks at him and smiles. She gets up quickly and throws herself into his arms. He catches her and puts his arms around her waist. "Is that the new way we greet each other? Because I like it a lot!" He tells her.

"Thank you so much for setting me up with Simon," she whispers and buries her head into his chest.

Chandler knows that this is coming from deep down in her heart. He knows that she is happy and that it is partly because of him. But somehow he can't be happy about it. Something in his stomach tells him that all that is so wrong.

He puts his head on top of Monica's, closes his eyes and breathes in the smell of her shampoo. And suddenly he knows. He just knows it. Why he can't be happy for Monica and Simon. Why he couldn't listen to Simon talking about her any longer. He knows what this feeling is. He's jealous of Simon. He is jealous of his colleague, because he is in lo… Chandler can't end his thought. He pushes Monica away, too shocked to do anything else, and runs into his apartment. There he sinks down onto his barcalounger and buries his face in his hands. Turns out he and Simon have even more in common than he first thought.


	6. Chapter 6

"Oh no, oh no, oh no, no, no," Chandler mumbles, his face still in his hands. How comes he just realizes that now? It's a week too late. She is dating Simon now and is obviously happy. The worst thing is: he set her up. He was able to stop it and he didn't. Because he thought that would make his friend happy. He didn't realize that _he_ wants to make her happy. But he does. The way he feels about her isn't the way someone feels about his friend. His day is not complete if he doesn't at least talk to her for a little bit. His mouth turns into a smile automatically when he sees her smiling. He would leave everything and everyone behind without a second thought if she'd needed him. Why did he think that's the way you feel about a friend? Because it's not. He doesn't feel this way about Phoebe or Rachel. They even annoy him sometimes. Phoebe, when she's being extremely weird, or Rachel, when the spoiled girl she was before shines through. Even Joey sometimes annoys him with his flaws. But not Monica. Monica is competitive as hell, she is the most ocd person in the world and she is also treating him like a child a lot. And it does annoy him sometimes.

But he doesn't care. He doesn't, because he's in love with her.

He knows that much now. He's in love with Monica and with how he pushed her away earlier he might not be able to talk with her ever again. He not only pushed her away, but also run out of the apartment without explaining anything. It's weird that she didn't run after him and confronted him right away with how stupid he is. That's what she would normally do when he behaves weirdly or – as she likes to say – "all Chandler-ly".

As if she heard his thoughts the door opens. Chandler is sitting with his back to the door and doesn't want to turn around. He doesn't want her to see his face, because if she does, he is one-hundred percent sure she knows what is going on in his mind. This woman is able to read him like a book.

"Hey," but it's not Monica's voice who reaches his ear.

Ross sits down next to him and sighs. "Chandler?" He asks slowly.

Chandler doesn't want to look at Ross either. He doesn't want to see anyone. Just be in his own misery and think about how he isn't able to see his friends ever again. Because of course everyone will be on Monica's side when he tells them that he isn't going to able to see her anymore. He would also be on her side.

"You realized it now, didn't you?" Ross asks quietly.

Chandler looks up quickly. He thought he didn't understand his friend properly. "What?"

"You realized that Monica isn't just a friend to you, right?" Ross repeats, louder this time, and Chandler is now sure that he understood him correctly.

"How …?" He croaks.

"Chandler, I know you for a very long time now. I introduced you to my little sister. And I'm not stupid. I knew it right away. It was the way you looked at her. The way you always look at her. You have a smile reserved only for her. She is the luckiest and on the same time stupidest woman in the world."

"What?" Chandler looks at him irritated.

"Well, she has a guy who she means the world to. But she doesn't know it."

"She doesn't?"

"I don't think so."

"Why didn't you stop me, Ross? When we were talking about Simon last week, why didn't you stop me if you knew?"

"I couldn't! I knew you would realize it one day. And you have to realize something like that on your own. There is no one who can tell you something like that. When Rachel and Phoebe began to find her a boyfriend I thought now you realize. I thought you can't be that stupid that you won't realize it now. But then you came home with the news that _you_ find her a boyfriend. I tried to talk you out of it. You were so sure that Simon will be the right guy for Monica, so I thought I must have been wrong the whole time. But when today happened, I knew I was right. You are just really that stupid."

"I am, Ross, I am. And I can't believe you knew. I can't believe that. Why didn't I? That's so typical for me: There is one woman I feel really deeply about and I can't even realize that. I … I can't believe I drove her into the arms of another man. It would be so easy to have somebody to be angry at, but it's all my fault. I got no one else to blame but me. Oh God, Ross, I am a horrible person. I should not be allowed near any other human being. I …"

"Hey, Chandler, stop it. You're rambling and it isn't helping now."

"What am I going to do now, Ross?" Chandler buries his head in his hands again.

Ross shrugs. "Well, I think all you can do now is waiting until she realizes that Simon isn't as good for her as you. She will eventually, I'm sure about that. I'm sure she has a soft spot for you, too."

"Do you think so?"

"Yes, one day she will realize that her weird and goofy friend Chandler is exactly who she needs by her side. Not Simon."

Chandler sighs. He appreciates Ross trying to lift him up. He's a good friend, Chandler always knew that. And it's great to have someone to talk to about all that. Normally he would talk to Joey about such a thing, but this is a special occasion, because it is Ross' sister they are talking about and it's important that Ross knows. It's good. Chandler takes a deep breath. And suddenly he knows what the problem is.

"Ross?" He asks scared. "What if she doesn't realize it?"

"She will. You gotta believe in that."

"But Simon is like me. He's like me."

* * *

The next morning Chandler wakes up and has a bad feeling in his stomach right away. He hasn't talked to Monica since he pushed her away and that has never happened before. Every time they had a fight, one of them will come to the other to apologize five minutes later. Sometimes even an hour, but they have never gone to sleep without speaking to each other again. Well, he can't call it sleeping what he has done the last few hours. He had too much to think about and was happy when he was able to find sleep for at least half an hour.

Chandler knows that it's his job to go over to apologize. She hasn't done anything wrong and is probably already waiting for him to come over. Even though he thought about his situation a lot during the night he still doesn't know what to tell her. He can't explain his feelings, not now, not when she's really happy with Simon. And he has totally now explanation for his behavior. Nothing. Chandler sighs. He can't postpone it any longer. He has to go see her. And maybe he can come up with something spontaneously.

After a shower Chandler stands in front of Monica's apartment and lifts up his hand to knock. Then he shakes his head. He hasn't knocked at Monica's door since almost forever. That would be too weird. He puts his hand on the knob and opens the door slowly.

All of his friends are sitting at the table and Chandler moans. Of course they are all there the one time he wants to speak to Monica alone.

"Hey, Chandler," Joey says happily, he hasn't seen his friend the last few hours, because Chandler was already in his room when Joey came home. Chandler didn't want to see Joey in his state.

Chandler smiles carefully. He feels Monica's look on him, but doesn't want to look at her.

"I thought you don't want to come over today," Phoebe says, as happy as Joey.

Only Rachel and Ross look at Chandler differently. They know what happened last night and Rachel is probably just as curious as Monica to know what was going on.

"Well … I … um … well, I … you … it," Chandler stops to stutter and sighs. Joey and Phoebe look at him confused.

Chandler notices how Rachel gives Monica a push.

"I'm gonna take a walk, do you wanna join me, Chandler?"

Before Chandler is even able to answer Monica has already taken his hand and pulled him into the hallway. His hand burns from her touch and he doesn't know what to say.

"So, do you wanna tell me what kind of problem you have all of a sudden?" Monica asks.

Chandler blushes. "I … I, I'm sorry, Monica."

"That's okay. I would just like to know what happened yesterday."

"I was remembering something I really had to do," Chandler mumbles. Oh, so much to 'I'm gonna think of something good when she asks me'. That didn't work out.

And of course Monica rolls her eyes. Why would she believe him? She knows him well enough. "Chandler…"

"Yes?"

"What's wrong?"

"I … I can't tell you, I'm sorry," Chandler whispers, not knowing what else to say.

Monica sighs. "I don't understand that, but I can't force you to tell me."

Chandler nods thankfully. "Thank you," he gives her a small smile.

Monica returns the smile and shrugs. "Can I at least have the last part of my hug now?" She asks and looks at him softly to tell him that they are okay.

"Sure," he nods and Monica puts her arms around him again.

Chandler tries to relax, but he can't do it. It doesn't feel as good as it used to be to hug her. His heart is beating so fast he's sure she's able to notice it. And his skin burns at the parts she is touching. He hates that. Hates that he isn't able to hug his friend anymore without it feeling weird.

Chandler is deep in thoughts that he doesn't even realize Monica pulling away softly. She puts her hands on his arms. "Are we okay?" she asks.

"Yes," Chandler promises and hopes that he is going to be able to spend so much time with her as he used to do without him hurting so much inside.


	7. Chapter 7

_I hope you are still enjoying this story. Thanks to those who keep reviewing. It really makes my day every time I see someone has left a comment. :) Our two favorites still have a long way to go, so prepare for a lot more chapters and adventures. ;)_

" … and then we went to this bar and we just danced for hours, it was wonderful," Simon finishes his story and all that Chandler can see in front of his eyes is Monica, who is dancing, smiling and just enjoying her time. He would give everything to be the one to hold her, but every time he tries to imagine that, Simon starts to talk again and he is in the picture. It's one of a million stories he told since he came to work on Monday. It's only Wednesday, but Chandler can't listen to one more of Simon's stories. They all end with 'It was wonderful' or to spice it up a bit 'She is wonderful'. Monica is the same. She can't stop talking about Simon and about how wonderful he is and Chandler can't escape all the stories. Simon is talking about nothing else at work and when he comes home Monica starts to tell the exact same stories. It's like he's trapped in a vicious circle.

He has told Simon to go back to work a thousand times over the last couple of days, but it's not working. His colleague is so in love that he can't stop talking about his girl. And the worst thing is: Chandler understands him. He totally does. Because if he would be the lucky guy to go out with Monica he couldn't stop talking about her either.

Chandler sighs. He doesn't know what to do anymore. He could start not spending so much time with Monica anymore. Maybe that's the way he would get over her. But the problem is: He wouldn't spend so much time with Monica anymore. Even though he has these weird feelings and can't think straight anymore as soon as he's near her, she's still his best friend and he couldn't imagine not spending time with her.

"Does she talk about me, too?" Simon asks and sounds like a little boy who just wants to be reassured that his parents love him.

"A little," Chandler mumbles and can't help but laugh at Simon's shocked face. "And by little I mean all the time!"

Simon is relieved and takes a deep breath. "Oh thank God," he sighs. "I always think it's just me. I mean she is way out of my league and I just can't imagine that she really wants to spend time with me. I … I always think that something is going to take her away from me, because I'm not good enough for her."

Simon looks heartbroken and Chandler feels sorry for him even though he doesn't want to. "Simon, don't worry, man. She talks about you all the time."

"Really?"

"Yes. She is talking about you so much I can't stand hearing your name anymore," Chandler says and Simon laughs out loud. Apparently he hasn't noticed that Chandler – for once – didn't use sarcasm and meant it exactly how he said it.

When Simon leaves for his own desks, Chandler sighs. How can one man talk so much? And why does he have to talk to Chandler? He could talk to anyone in this room, but somehow he decided to tell _him_ everything. But Chandler also feels sorry for his colleague. He knows exactly how it is to think you're not good enough for someone. Chandler feels the same way about every woman he goes out with. Went out with, he corrects his own thought. He would never want to go out with anyone except for Monica now. Oh God, it hit him hard. He definitely has to do something! He can't keep on having these thoughts and the mental images he has of her.

Oh great, now he sees her walking into the office in one of the greatest outfits he has ever seen on her. He even starts to hallucinate now? That's not fair. Chandler buries his face into his hands and shakes his head. Then he opens his eyes again. She is still there and coming right towards him. It must be true. She really is in his office right now.

"Hey Mon," he gets up and greets her, so happy to see his favorite girl. "I didn't know you'd come for lunch today. Did we …"

"Umm, Chandler?" Monica begins, blushing a little bit. Then she points at Simon, who also got up when he saw her. "I kinda came to pick up Simon."

Chandler's heart breaks. Of course. Why would she come over and pick him up? They are just friends and she is only coming to see him when he invites her. Of course she came to see her boyfriend. Who she is kissing now, in the middle of the office, by the way. Chandler turns away. He isn't able to look at that. He has to choke the urge to go over there and pull her out of Simon's arms. He wants to scream at him: You wouldn't even know her if it wasn't for me, give her back. But he can't do that. He would sound like a little boy whose friend stole his cheap, stupid toy, which he didn't even played with the last couple of weeks. Chandler rolls his eyes. Where are his thoughts going? Monica is not a toy! And she is in no case cheap and stupid. She is the most valuable thing in Chandler's life. Well, not a thing, she's definitely not a thing. She's a woman. A great woman. The best.

Chandler hits against his head. What is wrong with his mind today?

After a while Chandler looks up again, but Monica still has her arms around Simon's neck and is kissing him passionately. Can't the two of them ever stop? And why can't he be the one … No, Chandler, don't go back this path again!

Slowly Monica lets go of Simon and whispers something in his ear. Simon nods and looks at him. Chandler blushes. He's been caught starring. Quickly he sits down and starts to type something on his keyboard again.

He doesn't realize that Monica came over to his desk until she stands right in front of him.

"Hey, Chandler," she smiles at him. "Do you want to come to lunch with us?"

Chandler moans. Why is she doing that to him? Doesn't she know that he can't take a minute longer of looking at the happy couple? No, of course, she doesn't. She doesn't know and just wants to be friendly.

"I … I don't know, I'm sure the two of you don't really need me," he says evasively.

Monica's smile vanishes. "Oh, come on, Chandler, you are the guy who brought us together! We would love for you to come with us."

Chandler shakes his head. "That's not a good idea, Mon."

"Please?" Monica asks and smiles at him softly.

And that's it for Chandler.

He doesn't want to go. He can think of a million different things he'd rather do now. Jump off a bridge, for example. Or get hit by a bus. But Monica said 'Please' and smiled at him. He was never able to say no to anything when it comes to her. Especially not now. Not when he's afraid that he might lose her to Simon.

"Actually, I'd love to," he says and smiles, too.

Monica's smile gets even brighter. "Great!"

And Chandler prepares for the worst lunch break he has ever had.

* * *

"What do you wanna eat?" Chandler asks and looks at Monica, who has her arms around Simon. Chandler is sad. That's not how it's supposed to be. Simon shouldn't be here with them. But he decided to put a good face on the matter and be happy for them. He doesn't want Monica to realize that he is behaving weirdly.

"Oh, I'd love steak," Simon says and smiles widely.

Chandler fights the urge to roll his eyes. He didn't ask Simon. He wanted to know what Monica wants.

"And you?" He asks and looks at Monica again.

She shrugs. "Steak is fine," she says and smiles as Simon gives her a kiss on the cheek.

Chandler knows that Monica doesn't like steak for lunch. She always chooses something light, something like a salad or a sandwich. Maybe a pizza, if she's feeling really good, but never steak. Simon doesn't seem to know that. And apparently Monica isn't going to tell him. So Chandler decides to not say anything. Even though for Chandler it seems like they are dating for months already, they are only going out for a few days. Maybe it's too early to talk about stuff like that.

"Okay, steak it is," Chandler yells, but no one listens to him anyway. Monica has her head on Simon's shoulder and he is whispering something in her ear which causes her to burst out laughing. "Or how about human flesh?" Chandler asks.

"Whatever you want is fine," Simon says and Chandler thinks how Simon should have said that to Monica.

Chandler buries his face in his hands for a few seconds. He knew it was a bad idea to go out with the two of them. But he couldn't say no to Monica and he thought that maybe it's going to be fine. At least he was going to spend time with his favorite girl. But no one told him that his favorite girl won't even notice him, because she is so busy whispering and giggling with her boyfriend. Chandler sighs. That's not how he wanted it to be. How is he going to survive that lunch?

Finally they have eaten everything. Chandler was ready to go almost ten minutes ago, but it took Monica and Simon longer to eat everything. Well, maybe that's because Chandler didn't have to kiss the person next to him every two seconds. Or it's because he wasn't allowed to do that. Because, he wouldn't have had a problem with kissing Monica every two seconds. Not at all. He would have done it every second, too. But it's not him who is kissing her and that's the problem. For him. Not for her. Well, maybe a little bit for her, too. Because Chandler knows one thing for sure: No one would ever care as much about Monica as he does.

When the bill finally arrives, Chandler takes it.

"No," Simon shakes his head. "Come on, it's my treat!"

"You don't have to do that, Simon," Chandler insists.

"Of course I have to!" Simon says and nods his head. "You set me up with the best girl in the whole world and it's because of you that I experience the best time of my life right now."

Monica blushes and hides her face in Simon's shoulder.

"That's … I didn't … you don't have to …"

"Yes I do, Chandler. Please, let me do it. I want to. Because if it wasn't for you I would have never got to know Monica. Honestly, I can't believe you set her up with me. If she would have been my friend, I would never have set her up with some colleague."

Chandler whimpers. If he'd have known about his feelings earlier, he would have never done that. Why? Why did he do it? He watches Monica's eyes glow at his words and she leans in to give Simon a kiss. Chandler can't do it. He can't. He rushes up and towards the bathroom. What has he done?

* * *

"… and then I hid in the bathroom the rest of the time," Chandler finishes his story.

Ross looks at him and shakes his head. "Dude, what did Monica say?"

"I told them that I don't feel well and they believed me. That's why I'm home that early. Simon suggested that I should take the rest of the day off and promised to talk to my boss."

"Oh, Chandler," Ross sighs.

Chandler didn't know what to do when he came home. That's why he was so happy to see Ross. He needed someone to talk to and he couldn't talk to anyone else. Nobody knows what is going on with him except for Ross.

"I don't know what to do anymore," Chandler whispers.

Ross feels so sorry for his friend. He has never seen Chandler like that and he'd never thought that Monica would be the one to make him feel that way. Ross didn't want to admit it, but he was always a little ealous of Monica and Chandler's friendship. He knew that the two of them shared a special bond and he hated that he doesn't have a best friend like that. But now, seeing Chandler like that, he doesn't envy his friend anymore. He knows the feeling to fall in love with a friend, but only thinking about the fact that Chandler was the one who set her up with someone else, it's so much harder. He must really hate himself now.

"Maybe, I should go away," Chandler continues and Ross looks at him in shock.

"What?" He asks. "You can't do that!"

"Ross, I can't stay here. It's horrible. Everywhere I go people talk about the happy couple. At home, at work, everywhere. And I even have to look at them during my lunch break. It's horrible. You don't know what it feels like. It tears me apart. It literally feels like my heart is ripped into two pieces. Looking at the two of them and knowing that it could be me if I wouldn't have set her up with Simon, it kills me. Ross, it literally kills me."

After his monologue Chandler takes a deep breath.

"But," Ross begins softly. "You can't go. You can't leave her now."

"She has Simon."

"But she needs Chandler. I'm sure about that. I know that she would fall apart without you next to her, even just as a friend. Please, Chandler, don't go. Don't leave her. She hasn't realized it yet, but she needs you. Please, think about it."

"Ross, maybe I have to go," Chandler insists.

"Just remember that …"

The door to Chandler's apartment opens and Monica walks in. Chandler's heart begins to beat rapidly without him even thinking about her. His heart notices her earlier than his mind does. She looks beautiful, as always.

"Hey Ross," she greets her brother, then she comes over to Chandler. "Hey, Chandler, are you feeling better?" She runs her fingers through Chandler's hair and it sends cold shivers up and down his spine.

"Yes, a lot," he breathes, his voice barely a whisper.

"Good, I made you some soup," Monica says and points to the bowl she put down on the counter. "Do you want some?"

Chandler nods, not able to say something. His throat feels rough. She is so sweet, why didn't he realize it earlier?

Monica smiles and gets the bowl. After that she sits down next to him again and watches him eat. She begins to tell something about Phoebe and Rachel and how Phoebe found an old dog in the park and didn't want to return him. Chandler is relieved that she for once doesn't talk about Simon and actually enjoys the conversation. He even laughs a little bit when Monica tells him about Rachel's reaction to the ugly, scruffy dog.

"I'm glad you're feeling better now," Monica suddenly says. "I was really scared this afternoon. You seemed really sick. I was worried about you."

"You don't have to," Chandler mumbles.

"Well, I do. I worry about you when you're not feeling good or when you're not talking to me about something that is eating you up! And something is. I know it, Chandler. Do you promise me to talk to me as soon as you feel ready?" Monica asks with a serious look on her face.

Chandler is only able to nod. He is not used to someone being so worried about him. He knew Monica cares about him, but he didn't know that she wants him to feel well and that she's worried about him that much when he's not.

"Thank you," Monica sighs and pulls him into a hug. Chandler lets himself fall into her arms and enjoys being this close to her once more.

Ross, who is still standing next to the tv and has been watching everything that is going on, clears his throat and looks at Chandler. He lifts one of his eyebrows just as if he wants to ask if Chandler still wants to leave.

How could he? How could Chandler go to another part of the world as long as Monica is in New York City? He hugs her tightly and shakes his head slowly.

With a nod and a smile on his face, Ross leaves the apartment.


	8. Chapter 8

_Thank you so much for all your reviews. It was really fun to read your ideas as I have already written most of the story and some of you are gonna be surprised to see what I did. ;)_

It's another day at the office and Simon is once again talking to Chandler about his favorite topic. Chandler has thought about it a lot of times how he would be able to stop his colleague, but he can't think of anything. So he decided to bear all this with fortitude.

"Mister Bing? Would you come see me?" Chandler hears the voice of his boss. He puts his head in his hand. He's sure that it's because Simon keeps talking to him. Of course it is Chandler who gets called into the boss' office and not Simon. Of course.

Chandler gets up, a little nervous.

"Oh," Simon looks up at him, annoyed that he isn't able to finish his story. "Do you think he doesn't like us talking all the time?"

Chandler suppresses the urge to scream and walks into his boss' office without paying any more attention to Simon.

"Please, take a seat, Mister Bing," his boss says and points to the chair across from him. Chandler sits down, his hand shaking because he is nervous. He doesn't like his job. But he wouldn't want to get fired. He likes … earning money and being able to afford things.

The thoughts are running through Chandler mind and he doesn't even notice that his boss has started to talk to him. Chandler listens up when he realizes what his boss is talking about.

"… so, what I want to say is, you are one of our best employee and we would like to offer you the job of team leader in one of our departments."

Chandler's jaw drops. He can't believe what he has just heard. This can't be true. His boss called him to fire him because Simon keeps on talking to him, not to offer him a much better job. That is so not how his life works. Not at all.

Suddenly Chandler realizes that he is supposed to say something. His boss is looking at him expectantly.

"Sir, I … I'm a little … speechless. I … I don't know what to say. Thank you so much, I …"

"You don't have to decide now, Mister Bing. It's okay to sleep one night and think about it and tell me tomorrow. That's not a problem at all. Umm …" his boss pauses and Chandler wrinkles his forehead. He knows that now the hook of the whole job-thing is coming. "You … well, you should also consider that the team leader job would be in Tulsa."

"Tulsa?"

"Umm, yes. Tulsa, Oklahoma."

Chandler's jaw drops again. He knew the job would be too good to be true and that this is not how his life works.

"Like I said, just think about it and tell me about your decision tomorrow, Mister Bing." His boss smiles at him.

Chandler nods. He isn't able to speak right now.

"And whatever you decide, just remember: We are very satisfied with your work. Keep it up!"

With a hand sign to the door the man shows him that the conversation is over. Chandler gets up, his knees shaking. Simon is looking at him curiously, but Chandler decides to go home. It's already five o'clock and he doesn't want to talk to Simon now.

* * *

Joey and Ross are in his apartment when Chandler comes home.

"Hey, how was work today?" Ross asks. Chandler has told him that he's sick of Simon's stories about Monica and Ross totally understands him.

But Chandler still hasn't told Joey, so he just shrugs. "Okay."

Joey wrinkles his forehead. "You are not okay," he says.

"Okay, fine," Chandler sighs. "My boss called me into his office today. He wants me to run our office in Tulsa."

Ross' jaw drops, just like Chandler's did just a few hours ago. "Tulsa? And where in New York is that?" Joey asks confused.

Chandler laughs bitterly. Joey will always be Joey. "Joey, Tulsa is in Oklahoma."

"Haha, very funny. How am I supposed to know where in New York Oklaho… oh! Oklahoma?"

"Yes, Oklahoma!" Chandler nods.

"Well, you can't go," Joey says matter-of-factly.

Chandler shakes his head. "Why not?"

"Well, first of all, I wouldn't have a roommate when you leave."

"Oh, you've got a point, man," Chandler sighs.

"So, you won't go?" Joey asks, not having understood the sarcasm in Chandler's last sentence.

Chandler sighs. "Joey, I don't know yet. I … I have no idea what to do now. I … maybe I go to Tulsa…"

"Noo, you can't …" Joey begins, but Ross interrupts him by pulling Chandler into his bedroom.

"Okay, Chandler, don't even think about it!" Ross begins. "Don't even think about running away from Monica! That's not how it works. You can't do that!"

"Ross, it's not about Monica. I've been offered a great job and I might take it, because I want to achieve something in my life."

"Chandler, you hate this job. You only think about taking it, because that way you could get away from Monica. Honestly, do you really want to go to Tulsa?"

"Well, you know, people always speak of Tulsa as Paris."

"Chandler …"

"Well, these people might not have seen Paris before, but still…"

"Chandler! You won't forget Monica just because you move to another state! That's not how love works! And besides, you won't be there if she and Simon break up!"

"Oh, grow up, Ross. They won't break up! They are perfect for each other and so in love."

Ross sighs. It's more difficult than he thought it would be. "Of course they are. They've been going out for a little over a week now. If you go now, you'll lose her forever!"

"Ross, come on, don't be overly dramatic!"

"I am not. I mean it. Just think about it. Monica would be devastated if you'd leave. We all would be sad, especially Joey, but I think it would hit Monica the hardest!"

"I don't wanna go, Ross. But please understand me thinking about it. It's a team leader job and if it would be such a job in New York everyone would force me to take it."

"I know, Chandler. It's a huge chance. Just promise me you won't do anything without really thinking about it!"

"I promise. Thanks, Ross, for being there for me."

* * *

Chandler is sitting in his boss' office again. He's tired, so tired. He hasn't slept at all. All he could think of was the decision he has to make: Team leader in Tulsa or boring job in New York City. He got nowhere. He couldn't decide. Still can't. And every time he tried to sleep and not think about the huge decision anymore, Monica stole herself into his thoughts. And that meant he couldn't think straight anymore.

His boss looks at him with an asking look on his face, but Chandler doesn't know what to say. Staying in New York? Going to Tulsa? These are the only two thoughts in his mind right now. But he can't decide.

Chandler clears his throat. He has to say something now. Anything. "Umm, thank you for offering me the job, Sir. Can you give me a little more of time for consideration?"

"I would love to, Mr. Bing. But the problem is we would need the team leader in Tulsa next Monday. And it's already Thursday. So we'd ask you to leave this weekend just so you could acclimate in Tulsa before starting the work. There's not much time for consideration left."

Chandler takes a deep breath. This weekend? So he wouldn't have the time for a proper goodbye? He can't do that. That's not possible. His friends would never talk to him again if he'd left without a proper goodbye. He can't go. Monica would hate him if she couldn't be responsible for a farewell party. Monica. Monica and Simon. The two of them kissing. His heart that hurts as badly as it never has before whenever he sees the two of them together or even just hears a story about them. He has to leave them behind. Chandler feels dizzy from all the different thoughts that are entering his mind.

"Well, alright. You can have more time for consideration. I have on employee who would go in every case. But we want you. Mr. Bing, you have time until tomorrow morning. Otherwise I'll send Mr. Miller to Tulsa."

"Thank you, Sir. I promise I'll tell you my decision first thing in the morning."

"By all means."

Chandler sighs and gets out of the office. Simon is standing in front of him. Good God, can't this guy leave him alone for just a second?

"Hey, Chandler, I heard you are offered a job as team leader? Congratulations!"

"Thanks, Simon."

"Are you gonna take it?"

"I don't know," Chandler sighs. Why Simon, too?

"I wouldn't think twice if I'd be offered a job like that."

"The job is in Tulsa."

"I know, but I would take it nevertheless!"

"And what about Monica?" Chandler asks, sounding angrier than intended. Doesn't Simon care about his girlfriend at all?

"What about her? She doesn't have a job right now. She could easily go with me. And if she wouldn't want to go, who cares? I mean, it's a team leader job!"

"Bye, Simon," Chandler says brusquely and sits down at his desk. He can't believe it. He didn't know that Simon is such a jerk. He would have never set Monica up with him if he'd have known how he thinks about his girlfriend. Oh no, what has he done?

* * *

"Hey, Chandler? Do you have …," Monica walks into Chandler's apartment and stops in her tracks. "What the heck are you doing, Chandler?"

Chandler shrugs. "I'm playing Rock, Paper, Scissors with myself." He has thought about whether to take the job in Tulsa or not the whole day and couldn't think straight anymore. So he decided to try something different.

"Oh, sure," Monica says, a smile on her lips. "Why again?"

"Well, I have this really hard decision to make and I thought maybe that will help."

"What decision?"

Chandler blushes. He doesn't want to talk to Monica about his decision. He knows what she would suggest and he also knows that he wouldn't be able to say no to anything she asks him. "Just … something."

Monica shakes her head. "Anyway, do you have spaghettis here somewhere? Simon is really craving spaghetti Bolognese and I want to surprise him with a dinner later."

"Yes, sure. Help yourself. You know where they are."

"Thanks, Chandler," Monica says while reaching up to the cupboard to get a box with spaghettis. "Simon had a really hard week at work and I really want to cheer him up. He said someone has been offered a way better job and this someone doesn't even work half as much as him. That's not fair. So I'm going to pamper him tonight." Monica winks.

Chandler isn't responding. His jaw dropped when he heard what Simon said about him. He can't believe Simon is really that sneaky.

"Mon, are you happy with Simon?" He asks her.

"Why are you asking that?"

"I … I just have the feeling that he might not be the right guy for you."

"Chandler, are you kidding me right now?" Monica asks pissed.

"He isn't good enough for you!" The sentence is said before Chandler can think about it.

Monica's face turns red. And not because she is blushing. Oh no, she seems angry! Chandler shakes his head. How stupid is he? Why can't he just shut up?

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Monica yells, her voice louder than she intended it to be.

"Monica, let me explain…"

"No, Chandler, let me explain something: First, you tell me that I'm a loser because I don't have a boyfriend. Then, you set me up with a guy and it's perfect. But suddenly you're behaving all weird and don't even talk to me about what is wrong."

"Mon, I …"

"I don't even want to talk to you right now, Chandler. It seems like you're not my friend anymore. Because what you do to me, that is not what friends do!"

"Monica, I really think you should think about your relationship with …"

"Chandler! Shut up!" Monica's voice is now really loud and shrill. "I don't want to hear anything. You can't even be happy for me. That's the worst: You are the one I want to talk to the most, but you can't be happy for me. Chandler, I want to help you, but if you don't want to talk to me I can't worry about you anymore."

"I am talking to you right now," Chandler says loudly. "But you won't listen! Simon is …"

"I would have never thought you'd be the one to let me down like that, Chandler."

"Monica, please …" Chandler pleads desperately. How did their conversation go wrong so quickly? He didn't even say much to make her furious.

"No, Chandler. I … I can't even look at you right now. Please, stay away from me and let me be happy until you're ready to understand and be my friend again!" Chandler notices a few tears in the corner of her eyes and he wants nothing as much as to hug her. But Monica already storms out of the apartment.

Chandler sinks down on the couch. What did he do? Monica was never that angry with him. He totally lost her. He really blew that up. She didn't even call him a friend anymore. That's the worst part. It has never happened before. Decisively Chandler gets up again. He has made a decision. Without Monica as a friend he doesn't want to stay in New York. And after what has happened tonight she won't talk to him in the next few days. He can't really imagine that right now, but it has to be a sign: a sign to go to Tulsa.

Chandler walks into his bedroom and begins to pack his stuff. She doesn't want to see him again? She can have that!

 _It was sooo hard for me to write this last part. :/_


	9. Chapter 9

_I know, I know, I'm spoiling you with these quick updates, but I'm away for the week now and I didn't want you to wait for so long. :) Also, this is gonna be the last - and by far longest - chapter to this fic. I wanted to write more, but somehow I think it's good like it is now. Thank you all for reading and reviewing and please let me know what you think about this one._

When Rachel and Phoebe walk into apartment 20 Monica is standing in the kitchen, stirring in a pot. But she isn't looking at the pot, she is staring into the distance, something she normally doesn't do while cooking.

Rachel sniffs. "Something smells really bad in here," she says to Phoebe.

Phoebe nods. "Mon, did you burn the sauce? Monica!"

It's only when Phoebe yells her name that Monica looks up at her two friends. "What?" She asks.

Rachel gets over to her and takes the pot off the stove. "Your sauce," she says.

"Oh God," Monica sighs. "How could that happen?"

"Well, your thoughts were somewhere completely else …" Phoebe begins, but stops when she sees tears in the corner of Monica's eyes. "What is wrong, Mon?"

Monica sits down on a chair and sobs. "I … all I wanted to do is cook some dinner for Simon and now I … it … everything is ruined. I ruined everything!"

"You didn't ruin everything," Rachel says. "You just burnt the sauce. That is not the end of the world, Monica!"

"But I'm a chef and if I can't even do that right, what else can I do?" The tears are now streaming down her face rapidly.

"Monica, it can happen to anyone. I'm sure Simon understands."

"I just ruined everything," Monica repeats. "Everything."

"What everything?"

"He is the most important person in my life and I ruined it!"

Phoebe and Rachel look at each other. They don't know what to say. It's obvious that it's not just the sauce that made Monica this upset, but they don't understand her. Of course Simon – as her boyfriend – is the most important person in her life right now, but it can't just be the sauce she ruined, can it?

Luckily Simon walks into the apartment at this very moment and rushes up to Monica immediately. He takes her in his arms and Rachel and Phoebe sigh relieved. They were worried that things between the two didn't go well anymore, but it doesn't seem like it.

Without saying anything Phoebe and Rachel walk towards the door. They don't want to disturb their friend and her boyfriend. Maybe Simon can cheer Monica up. Of course he can.

As the door closes Rachel turns to Phoebe. "What was that?"

Phoebe shrugs. "I have no idea. I have never seen her upset like that."

"That wasn't just the sauce. There must have been something else."

"I know, but what?"

"Maybe," Rachel begins. "Chandler knows more."

"Oh, you mean Chandler made her this upset again? Like a few weeks earlier?"

"No, Phoebe! Maybe she talked to him."

"Oh, that's possible too."

The first thing they hear as they walk into apartment 19 is Ross' voice coming from Chandler's bedroom: "No, Chandler! You can't do that! I forbid you to go."

Then they hear Chandler's dry and sad laughter. "Ross, you can't forbid me anything. I have to go!"

Rachel and Phoebe hurry towards the two of them. "What is going on here?" Phoebe asks as she sees Chandler putting his stuff into a suitcase.

"Chandler is leaving!" Ross says.

"What?"

"Why?"

"I'm not leaving. I got offered a job in Tulsa and it's a much better job than I have now, so I'm taking it," Chandler explains.

Rachel's jaw drops. "You are going to Tulsa?"

"Yes," Chandler mumbles. It was hard enough with Ross being here and trying to convince him to stay. But the two girls won't let go either, that's for sure.

"You can't just leave," Phoebe says and Ross nods. "I told him so."

"Guys, I'm old enough. And I've made the decision: I'm going to Tulsa."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"What?" Rachel gasps.

"But you hate your job!" Phoebe says at the same time.

"I know. But somehow I'm good at it. And the team leader job is so more suitable for me. I might actually really like going to work."

"But Tulsa is in Oklahoma. It's so far away," Rachel says, tears already in her eyes.

"You're going to be fine, guys. As soon as I'm sick of the job I'm coming back to you," he tries to crack a joke, but fails.

"Wow, it's gonna be weird without you here. And we can't convince you to stay?" Rachel asks.

Chandler shakes his head slowly. "No, can you understand at least a little?"

His friends nod reluctantly. "Yes, if that is what you want," Phoebe sighs.

"Thank you, guys." Chandler smiles and for the first time since this morning he feels like this is a real smile. Even if it's just a little one. Then he thinks of something. "Oh, could you do me another favor?"

"Yeah?" Ross asks, not sure if he wants to hear the rest of Chandler's request.

"Please don't tell Monica about it."

"What?" All three of them yell.

Then Phoebe remembers something. "Speaking of Monica. Do you know what's going on with her?"

Chandler groans and looks to the ground. "We had a fight," he mumbles.

"I knew it wasn't just the sauce," Rachel shouts out.

"The sauce?" Ross wrinkles his forehead.

"Well, she burnt the sauce when we came to see her," Rachel begins to explain, "and suddenly she broke down and cried and wouldn't tell us what has happened."

"Chandler, you should go see her," Phoebe says.

But Chandler shakes his head. "No, I can't. That … it wasn't like any other fight. She … she asked me to stay away from her and that's what I'm going to do."

"That's why you are leaving?" Ross cannot believe what he has just heard.

"Yeah, before you are starting to convince me otherwise, try to understand me: I can't be happy for her and Simon right now. I tried, but I can't. So if I stay I'm making her sad and insecure. I have to go so she can enjoy her time with Simon."

"But why do …"

"Stop, Phoebe, please. Don't ask any questions. Let's enjoy the night together, okay?"

"Okay," Rachel mumbles. She knows that Chandler has already made the decision and can't be convinced otherwise.

"Thanks. You should definitely think about how you protect me from Joey. He's gonna be mad when he finds out I'm leaving." Chandler laughs.

Ross, Rachel and Phoebe smile, but their smiles don't reach their eyes.

* * *

"Monica?" Simon asks and Monica has no idea what he said. She hasn't been listening to him for a while now. After she told Simon about her plan to cook him something nice and the terrible incident that she burnt the sauce, he wasn't angry at all. He just shrugged and decided to order some Chinese food. That's what they are doing now: Sitting on the couch and eating the food. And Simon talks. He does that a lot. Monica didn't really realize that in the beginning, but now when she thinks about it he has always talked that much. And she remembers the time she picked Chandler up from his office to go out for lunch. He was annoyed of Simon because he wouldn't stop talking to him. Chandler. And he's exactly the reason why Monica can't concentrate on Simon at all today. Because Chandler is everything that is on her mind. He was totally behaving weird. She has not seen him like that before. And he hasn't talked like that before either. That's what made her angry. He was the one who confronted her with the fact that she doesn't have a boyfriend. And now that she has one – that he chose, by the way – he talks bad about him. She has every right to be angry. His anger and his aversion for Simon are totally unreasonable.

"Monica? What's wrong?" Simon asks again and Monica startles up again. She can't think about Chandler now, she has to concentrate on her boyfriend right in front of her.

"Nothing," she says.

"Don't tell me that there's nothing. What is going on?" Simon asks stubbornly.

"I … well, I had a fight with Chandler," Monica mumbles quickly. She hopes that Simon lets it go immediately and doesn't ask any questions.

But Simon just shrugs again and says: "Oh, I thought it's something big."

If she wouldn't be so sad and angry, Monica would laugh. Simon has a disappointed look on his face. Of course Simon wouldn't understand. He doesn't know how important Chandler is to Monica. How good of friends they really are. He might not even have experienced a friendship like theirs himself. Because most people haven't. Monica would have never thought that one time Chandler would be the one who stabs her in the back like that. He was always the one she would trust the most. Maybe she overreacted. Maybe she shouldn't have yelled at him like that. No, she had the right to do that. He was being unreasonable and if he wants to be grumpy it's none of her business anyway. Chandler hasn't been in a very good mood lately and she tried to cheer him up. But he doesn't want to be cheered up – or at least not by her – so she has every right to stop trying. Simon is looking at her curiously. He doesn't get why a fight with Chandler makes Monica feel low like that.

"Well, it kinda is, we never had a fight like that," the words just fall out of Monica's mouth. She didn't want to tell him that, but she has to talk to someone and Simon is there and she trusts him. "I yelled at him and told him that I don't want to see him again. I … I never did that." Monica tries to hold back the tears, but almost fails.

"Oh, Monica," Simon looks at her helplessly. Then he reaches out for her and pulls her into his arms. Monica starts to sob. "I didn't know you guys were so close," Simon mumbles.

"I'm closest to Chandler. He's my best friend and now … I ruined everything," Monica can no longer hold back her words or tears now.

Simon doesn't know what to do. He was never good with crying women and has no idea how to cheer her up. He didn't know her and Chandler were so close. He always wondered why Chandler set her up with him and didn't date her himself. Simon just assumed that they maybe aren't that close and Chandler didn't know her that well. But now Simon is puzzled. Because once you really get to know Monica, you can't help but fall in love with her, right? Maybe Chandler hasn't realized it yet. And that's good for Simon. Because Chandler wouldn't have set them up if he would feel differently for Monica. Monica is still crying and Simon just keeps on stroking her back. He still doesn't know what to do and thought that that will calm her down. And it helps. She is much calmer already.

"You should call him!" Simon suddenly says. He didn't even know that he is thinking that, but apparently he did.

"What?" Monica asks. She is as confused as himself.

"You should call Chandler and talk to him."

"Simon, he lives just across the hall. I have never called him."

"Then you should go over there and talk to him."

"But he was totally unreasonable. He should come and apologize."

"But it's eating you up and you might not even fall asleep if you keep on thinking about it," Simon insists.

Monica shakes her head. "Let's talk about something else!" She really doesn't want to talk to Chandler right now. It might be good for both of them if they have a little bit of time to think about what has happened. It's good to have a night to sleep over everything. Even though they have never done that. Going to sleep without apologizing to each other. Chandler totally deserves to be left in the dark for a little bit.

With that thought Monica turns to Simon. "How about we go to the bedroom and forget about everything?" She gives him a seductive wink.

Simon laughs. That's much better than his suggestion. He lifts Monica up and carries her to the bedroom.

* * *

"Are you sure, Mr. Bing?" His boss looks at Chandler. He has just told him that he is going to Tulsa today and that he has his bags already with him.

"Hey, you wanted me to go today," Chandler says, a little bit offended. Yesterday his boss told him that he would need to go today and today he is questioning his decision?

"Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy about it. I just want to be sure that you thought about it properly."

Well, Chandler can't say anything now without lying. Of course he hasn't been thinking about it properly. He decided it not even 15 hours ago and here he is, with his bags already packed. He didn't have the time to think about it properly. And he might have lost four very good friends of his. Well, in fact he probably only lost one of them. And he lost her even before the whole Tulsa-thing came up. He lost Monica the minute he fell in love with her. He didn't lose Phoebe, Rachel and Ross. They were actually really supportive when he told them that there is no way he could stay. So he still has them. Joey … it's different with Joey. He was angrier than he has ever been before. When he came home last night and Ross, Chandler, Phoebe and Rachel were sitting in the apartment, all sad, he didn't notice it first. Of course, because he is Joey. Chandler told him about his plan very cautiously, but only by mentioning Tulsa Joey totally lost it. He interrupted Chandler and just walked into his room. Joey didn't come out of his room for the whole night. Before Chandler left in the morning, he knocked at his door. He was already leaving without saying goodbye to Monica, a thing he never thought he'd do, he at least wanted to say goodbye to Joey. At first he thought Joey is already gone, but when he asked him to come out for the third time, the door opened and Joey hugged him tightly. He wasn't saying anything, but he hugged him. And Chandler then knew that they are going to be fine. Joey might be angry now, but he will always love Chandler, that's for sure.

"Are you sure, Mr. Bing?" His boss asks again. He has a serious look on his face and Chandler knows that it seems to be very important to him that he's sure.

"I'm very sure, Sir. A few things in my … umm … personal life aren't going as I want them to, so I'm glad to get some distance. I already brought all my stuff so I can go as soon as you want me to."

"I'm so happy to hear that, Mr. Bing. I really wanted you to go because you are our best employee. Thank you so much. My secretary will book your flight and call you a taxi as soon as she knows when you're flying out."

"Thanks, Sir." Chandler still can't believe that his boss thinks of him as the best employee. He never thought that will be possible.

"I wish you all the best in Oklahoma, Mr. Bing. And call me if you need any help."

"I will do that, Sir. Thank you."

Chandler takes a deep breath as he walks out of the office. He is really doing that. He is leaving his home. He is trading New York City for Tulsa. He is sure he is the first human being to do so. No one would ever do that voluntarily. This is one of the things only unrequited love can do to you.

With his legs shaking Chandler sits down at his desk. Well, it's not his desk anymore. From now on his desk will be in Tulsa. In a city he doesn't even know. He doesn't know anything about Oklahoma either. He hasn't even been there yet. Maybe it's really terrible there and his boss is only offering him the job because no one else wants to go there. Maybe, the air in Oklahoma is health-damaging and he will die after living there for a couple of years. Maybe his boss only calls him his best employee because he wants to butter him up. Because no one would ever go to Tulsa voluntarily. Maybe there is a black hole that is going to eat him u…

"Chandler?"

Chandler has never been happier to see Simon standing in front of his desk. His thoughts were going crazy. He knows that Tulsa is neither health-damaging nor is there a black hole that eats up people. He just couldn't stop his thoughts.

"Simon," Chandler tries to sound enthusiastic.

Simon seems to believe his fake enthusiasm, because he smiles. "What is going on with you? You don't look very well!"

Chandler sighs. Obviously he didn't look very well. His thoughts were running through his mind like crazy and he felt like throwing up.

"I'm okay, Simon. Thanks for asking."

He hopes that Simon takes this as a sign for him to leave, but his colleague is not moving. He is impatiently hopping from one foot to the other and obviously thinking about asking Chandler a delicate question.

"Umm… does it have something to do with the fight Monica and you had yesterday?" Simon asks quickly as if he wants to be done with the question as quickly as possible.

Of course Monica has talked to her boyfriend about their fight. She has every right to do that. But Chandler doesn't like to hear that. He doesn't want to know that Monica trusts Simon enough to tell him about her friend. He doesn't want her to confide in Simon. He wants to be the only one she tells everything to. But who is he kidding? Simon is her boyfriend and he has lost the right to know everything after he fell in love with her and ruined their friendship. How could he have been so stupid?

"Umm, no," he says slowly, desperately wanting this conversation to be over.

"Okay, sorry for mentioning it. I was just wondering, 'cause Monica was really down because of that. I didn't know what was wrong with her and suddenly she started to cry and tell me everything. I was shocked. I didn't know you two were so close and I …"

Chandler can't listen to Simon anymore. Monica cried because of their fight? And he wasn't there to cheer her up? Well, she wouldn't have wanted him to be there anyway. Maybe he should have listened to his heart and went after her right away to apologize. Maybe he shouldn't have gotten into the huff and just leave, but try to talk to her. She's still Monica and he was always so good in talking with Monica. Maybe he shouldn't just leave, but fight for her. Like Ross told him to. Maybe Ross is right for once. But he already told his boss that he is going to Tulsa and besides, there would still be the problem called Simon. He would still be Monica's boyfriend and Chandler can't see the both of them together. He just can't. That's why he has to leave. Cheering Monica up is now someone else's job. Simon's. Speaking of Simon, he is still taking to him. Chandler should definitely start listening to him again.

"… but I made her forget everything that has happened … in her bedroom." Simon gives him a wink. "If you know what I mean."

And Chandler wishes he wouldn't have listened to the last part of Simon's story as well.

"I know," he groans. His head is already hurting again by just talking to Simon.

"So, are you gonna apologize to Monica? She really deserves an apology."

Who does this guy think he is? Why does he think he knows what Monica deserves? Chandler knows what's good for her. Who is good for her. And it isn't Simon. It's clearly not Simon.

"Actually, I'm kinda busy Simon, because I'm moving to Tulsa today."

"What? You really took that job?" Simon seems to be taken by complete surprise.

Chandler nods. "Yes. It's a huge opportunity for me."

"I … I can't believe that," Simon stutters.

Chandler frowns. "You've got a lot of time to get used to." Simon is definitely going to save a lot of time by not having Chandler to talk to every day.

"Does Monica know?"

Chandler sighs. "No," he shakes his head. "Not yet. And I'd appreciate if you wouldn't tell her. I'll call her from Tulsa."

Simon's jaw drops. "O-okay," he stutters. "I'm not going to tell her."

Chandler knows what he is thinking. He just found out how close Chandler and Monica are. Were. How close they were. Chandler really has to get used to using the past tense. Otherwise he'd never get over Monica. Simon just found out how close Chandler and Monica were. And now he is telling him that he'll call her once he's in Tulsa. Simon must suspect something.

But luckily he doesn't say anything. He smiles instead and lifts up his hand to shake Chandler's.

Chandler accepts his hand.

"Have a good flight, Chandler. And if you'd ever need help, you have my number. I still owe you a lot," Simon smiles and Chandler once again wonders how the impression he has of Simon can change so quickly and often.

Later that day, when Chandler is sitting in the airplane and listening to the flight attendant with half an ear, he knows that he is doing the right thing. Simon is a great guy after all and Monica deserves him. She deserves to be completely happy and Chandler would only disturb her in her happiness. He knows that and he loves her enough to put her happiness above his own. As they say: If you love someone, set them free. Chandler knows that there is a second part to the quote. Something about coming back. And maybe, maybe he can come back some day and work things out with Monica. For now he just needs distance. Distance to sort out all of his feelings towards her. Distance to forget about the crush he has. For now he has to concentrate on the part with setting her free.

The flight attendants sit down as well and the plane starts to move its way to the runway. Chandler takes one last look at New York City, then he closes his eyes. He doesn't want anyone to see the tears that are hiding in the corners of his eyes.

Damn it. If only the setting her free-part wasn't so damn hard!

 _You know I was just kidding with this being the last chapter, right? Because I could never do that to Monica, Chandler or you. ;) There is still a lot to go through before a happy ending, which will happen, I promise! :)_


	10. Chapter 10

"Monica? Are you alright?" Rachel asks when she comes home after work this evening.

Monica is lying on the couch, flicking through a magazine. Rachel hasn't seen her when she left the apartment this morning and she is a little bit worried about her roommate after Chandler has told them about the fight they had. Chandler and Monica don't usually fight, at least not like that, and Rachel assumes that Monica is really down about it. She just has to concentrate to not tell Monica that Chandler has left. It seemed to be really important to Chandler and even though Rachel doesn't like the thought of it she has to accept Chandler's wish.

With the magazine still in her hand, Monica turns around to look at Rachel. "Yes, of course." She smiles, but Rachel sees that her smile isn't reaching her eyes.

Rachel sits down next to Monica on the couch. "I just thought you might need someone to talk to," Rachel says quietly.

"What makes you think that?"

"Mon," Rachel begins, "Chandler has told us about the fight you guys had. What happened?"

Monica sighs. Of course he told their friends. You can't have a secret for very long in this group of people.

"He is not the Chandler I know anymore," she simply states.

"What are you talking about?" Rachel shakes her head. "Chandler is still Chandler!"

"He is behaving weird lately. Maybe you haven't seen him change, but he behaves differently with me around, I know that much."

"Maybe you are just thinking he is," Rachel mumbles.

"Oh no, I'm not just imagining this, Rach. I have no idea what is going on with him, but he acts differently."

"Did you really tell him to stay away from you?" Rachel doesn't think that Chandler is lying to them, but she can't imagine Monica saying that to _Chandler_. Rachel knows how important all of her friends are to Monica and that she would never say something like that to anyone of them. And she also knows that Chandler is the most important to Monica. So why would she tell him something like that?

"Yes," Monica mumbles sheepishly.

"You really said that? To Chandler? What did he do to make you that upset?"

Monica sighs. It seems like Rachel won't go until she knows what is going on. Monica appreciates Rachel trying to cheer her up, but she hates all the curious questions. She knows that Rachel won't let go so easily though. So she might as well tell her right now.

"I'm just so angry with him. He said that Simon isn't the right guy for me. He spoke badly of him and I hate it. He said that Simon doesn't deserve a girl like me…"

"Really? Chandler told you that? We are talking about the same Chandler, right?"

"Yes, I don't know what's wrong with him. Why can't he be happy for me?"

Rachel shrugs. "I really don't understand that. I mean, he was the one to set you up with Simon."

"I know! And he told me about how perfect his colleague was. I thought he was happy for me, because I finally found a guy. And … well, I thought he is also happy about the fact that he found me a boyfriend before you or Phoebe did. I know, it sounds stupid, but Chandler's mind works like that."

"And when did he change his mind?" Rachel asks. She is now in full investigate-mode and her aim is to find out what's going on with Chandler. She is still wondering why he went to Tulsa so precipitately. There must be more to it than the stupid fight he had with Monica.

"I … I don't really know. He was happy at first. Thrilled about the fact that he was the one to set me up with someone. But when I thanked him for everything he pushed me away and fled to his own apartment. I think that was the moment when he changed. He literally pushed me away! I haven't seen him a lot lately. He's always away and when he's there he doesn't come over anymore."

"Hm, do you think he found something out about Simon that he is trying to tell you?"

"You mean something bad?" Rachel almost starts to laugh at the expression on Monica's face. She looks so shocked just because Rachel assumes there might be something wrong with her boyfriend.

"I don't know, Mon. But I'm just trying to figure out Chandler."

"Oh, good luck with that. I gave that up already a few years ago," Monica says bitterly.

"Come on, you understand Chandler the best, Mon. Don't tell me you don't know how to figure him out."

"I do know. Or at least I thought I do. And I always understood him. But not now. I have no idea what is going on. I don't think he knows something bad about Simon. Chandler wouldn't just ignore me, he would come to talk to me."

"Are you sure? Chandler is always so bad with words."

"That's not true. He might say he is, but he isn't. At least not with me. He always knows the right thing to say and you know how we can talk about everything with each other. Chandler would definitely come to talk with me if something would be wrong with Simon, I'm sure of that."

"You don't seem like you hate him, Mon," Rachel says carefully. She doesn't want Monica to think she is taking Chandler's sight, but Monica doesn't seem angry at all anymore.

Monica looks at Rachel. "I don't _hate_ him, Rachel. I could never hate Chandler. I'm upset and angry and disappointed by the things he said and I didn't want to see him anymore last night, but I'm … he is … I still love him." Monica blushes a little bit. "I'm just so unbelievably angry that he said all the things," she repeats.

"Okay, in your fight he said all the things with Simon, right? So it has to have something to do with him."

"Rach, don't get me wrong, but I really don't care right now. I just want things to be like they've been before. I want Chandler back as my best friend, who I can talk about everything with. That's all."

Rachel nods. Monica made it pretty clear that the discussion is over now. That she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. But Rachel is still very curious about Chandler's reason to leave. Monica is sure that it doesn't have something to do with Simon being a bad guy and Rachel believes her. But what is it then? Why does he put his friendship with Monica at risk? What would he do that for? For the job in Tulsa? Not at all. Why did he leave without talking to Monica first? Chandler doesn't seem like the guy who runs away just because he has a stupid little fight. Not if the person he's fighting with and probably loosing is Monica. He could have talked to her this morning. She didn't tell her, but Rachel is sure that Monica was waiting for Chandler to come over today. They would have talked about it and that would have been it. Because they are Chandler and Monica and they wouldn't risk their friendship for anything in the world. So why does he leave her here alone? Well, not alone. She has Simon, but still, it's … Oh no, suddenly Rachel realizes something. Could that be the reason why Chandler has left the city so quickly? To let Simon and Monica have alone-time? To not have to watch the two of them? Could Chandler feel differently for Monica?

Oh, no, no, no! That can't be it. They are friends. But as Rachel watches Monica, cleaning the table in the kitchen, she recalls all the moments a person outside of their little group would see Monica and Chandler as a couple. All the times Chandler watches Monica in awe. All the times he cracks a joke and then looks at her to see her smiling. All the times he pulls her into a hug to calm her down. Oh God, Chandler has always had a soft spot for Monica. Maybe his feelings had developed over the time and just got stronger.

Rachel jumps up and hurries towards the door. She has to talk to Phoebe!

* * *

Out of breath Rachel arrives at Phoebe's apartment door.

"Oh my God, Rachel, what happened?" Phoebe asks as she looks at Rachel, who is breathing heavily.

"I … Chandler … I think … he … Monica," Rachel tries to say something, but can't form a sentence in her head.

Phoebe laughs. "Rachel, I'm sorry, I am, it is true, psychic, but I apparently missed the class about mindreading." Rachel looks at her confused. "What I mean, come in and relax a little bit. And then tell me everything you want to tell me, 'cause I understood the names Chandler and Monica and I can't wait to hear what you found out."

Rachel smiles at Phoebe's weird trains of thoughts and sits down on the couch. She takes a deep breath. "I think Chandler is in love with Monica."

"What?" Phoebe yells. "How do you know?"

"Well, I talked to Monica, because I thought she might need someone to cheer her up after the fight she had with Chandler. And then I got really curious: Why does Chandler leave the city? Not just because he has a tiny fight with Monica. I asked her some questions, but Monica wasn't very interested to find out what's going on in Chandler's head. Understandable since she doesn't know he has left."

"And how do you know he's in love with her?"

"It's the only possible reason. Monica is very sure that – if he'd have anything against Simon – he would have talked to her. And it has to have something to do with Simon, because he told Monica that Simon doesn't deserve her. And he is acting differently since Simon and Monica are dating."

"I don't know. It sounds like a possibility, but I don't know if you are right, Rach. Chandler in love with Monica? Wouldn't he have told her by now?"

"I have no idea why he hasn't told her, but don't you think that he always had a soft spot for her?"

"Well, of course, they are Chandler and Monica," Phoebe states.

"I have really thought about it, Phoebe, and I think it might be true. That would explain why he left without talking to Monica. He doesn't want to stand in the way of Simon and Monica. He knows that he would make her unhappy if he'd stay here, because he can't be happy for the two of them. And you know how Chandler always puts Monica's happiness above his own. He decided not to see her anymore – and it must have really hurt him to do that – just so that she can be happy with Simon. I think there's no other possibility."

"I think you're right, Rach," Phoebe suddenly says. "I didn't think there would be another reason than the fight for his leaving, but it all makes sense now. Oh my God, the poor guy! It must have killed him to watch Simon together with Monica and at the same time knowing that he was the one to set them up."

Rachel nods. She can't believe she hasn't thought about that earlier. She would have forced Chandler to stay if she would have known about his feelings.

"What are we doing now?"

"I don't think there is anything we can do, Pheebs," Rachel shrugs.

"We should talk to Joey and Ross about it. Maybe they know what to do. Or maybe they can confirm your idea."

But Rachel shakes her head. "No, we shouldn't. It wouldn't be fair for Chandler to involve the boys in all this. Especially when I'm not even sure if I'm right."

"You're right. But, Monica and Chandler. Can you believe that?"

Rachel thinks about her two friends. They are really close. They are closer than some couples she knows. And they adore each other. Balance each other out. Rachel nods. "Totally."


	11. Chapter 11

_Thank you so much for all of your reviews. I know I'm repeating myself, but I love them so much. :) And it's unbelievable that you are enjoying this story, I'm really happy about it._

 _You are really curious how Monica finds out that Chandler has left? Then start reading quickly!_

Monica shakes her head, not believing what Chandler is doing right now. It's Sunday night and she hasn't seen him since their fight. And their fight was on Thursday. Since they became friends they didn't spend a day without talking to each other. And even though she was the one who told him that she doesn't want to see him anymore, he just has to know that she wasn't being serious. She was angry, of course, and she wanted him to know how much he has hurt her. But she didn't mean it. She didn't really want to never see him again. He must know that. It's been three days now and Monica never wanted something as much as she wants to talk to Chandler right now. Monica yells angrily. What is he thinking?

"What's up with you?" Rachel just came out of the bathroom and looks at Monica questioningly.

"I can't believe Chandler is still pissed at me and doesn't even want to talk to me," Monica sighs.

Rachel clears her throat and blushes a little bit. But Monica doesn't even realize how uncomfortable her friend is. She is busy with thinking about a way to get Chandler to talk to her. Actually she doesn't want to be the one who gives in. Especially not because it was Chandler who was acting really weird and he should be the one apologizing to her and not the other way round. But it seems like that's not gonna happen.

Monica gets up, having made a decision. "I'm going to go over there and talk to him."

She says that more to herself, because Rachel seems really absent and doesn't seem to listen to her anyway.

But suddenly Rachel holds Monica's arm. "Wait, Mon, do you really want to do that?" she asks.

Monica rolls her eyes. "Of course I do. I miss him and I can't watch our friendship fall apart just because of that stupid fight."

"But … but maybe he's not even there. Maybe he's out," Rachel stutters.

"Chandler? No way, it's a Sunday night, he's definitely sitting over there watching tv!"

"Maybe he has a date!" Rachel suggests.

Monica can't help but laugh. "Rach, what's wrong with you?"

"No-nothing."

"Then please let me go," Monica insists and pulls her arm away from Rachel.

"Maybe he is …" Rachel tries to hold Monica back, but she has already opened the door to apartment 19.

Joey and Ross are sitting on the couch watching tv and turn around at the sound of the door. Their eyes widen in shock when they see Monica storming into the room, with Rachel following after.

"Where is Chandler?" Monica asks and Joey and Ross look at each other without knowing what to do.

"He … umm … he is in …," Joey begins, but can't think of a good excuse. Not with Monica starring angrily at him.

"He's out for dinner," Ross says. He can tell by the look on Monica's face that she does not believe him. "… with his mother. His mother called and wanted to have dinner with him."

Monica raises an eyebrow, still not convinced about the story Ross is telling her. "I want to talk to him," she says.

"Well, so do many people, Monica, but it's not possible with him not being here, is it?"

Monica looks at Joey. She is sure Joey didn't even understand what he has just said. She has the feeling that her friends are keeping something from her, but she can't quite say what it is.

"Alright, Chandler," she shouts, "if you're hiding here somewhere, I'm not mad at you anymore. I want you to be my friend again, 'cause … you know, I miss you!"

Ross laughs. "Mon, he's not here. We wouldn't tell you he went out when he's actually here, right?"

"I'm not sure," Monica mumbles. "I'm not sure what you two are up to, but I'm coming back tomorrow to talk to him. You can tell him to prepare himself!"

Monica walks back into her own apartment, shaking her head about her brother and his friend Joey. Something isn't right here. She has no idea, what, but she is sure that she will find out about it as soon as possible. She will not accept Chandler ruining their friendship by hiding from her. Their friendship is way too important to do that.

* * *

"Alright, it's enough! You tell me where Chandler is! Now!" Monica storms in apartment 19, prepared to shout at whoever is here. She is lucky, all of her friends are here. Well, all of them, except for Chandler. She got used to him not being there. She tried to talk to him for the last week, but he was never there. Joey and Ross tried to outdo one another in coming up with excuses, but she didn't believe any of them. She didn't believe that Chandler's still too mad at her to talk to her. She didn't believe that he is so busy at work. She didn't believe that she "just missed him for a few seconds, again." And most of all she didn't believe that he got kidnapped by aliens, a story Joey told her yesterday.

She was sitting together with Simon and decided to ask him about Chandler. They work together after all. But when he just told her that his colleague Chandler seems to have a lot of work to do lately, Monica saw red.

Now she is standing in front of her friends, her head red. Simon is standing behind her, one hand on her shoulder, trying to calm her down. But she doesn't want to be calmed down. She wants to hear the truth. She wants to know what's wrong with Chandler.

"Hey, Mon," Phoebe smiles. "We are watching a movie, do you two wanna join us?"

Monica shakes her head vehemently. "No! I don't want to watch a stupid movie. I want to know where Chandler is."

"The aliens haven't brought him back yet," Joey nods.

"Joey …"

"I know, we would get worried, too, but they seemed really nice," Phoebe adds.

"Who?" Monica wrinkles her forehead.

"The aliens, Mon," Phoebe laughs. "You've gotta pay attention!"

"Listen," Monica lifts up a warning finger and starts to walk towards her friends. "I'm sick of your stories. I know that you know something that I don't know and I want to know now!"

"Wow, that were too many _knows_ for me, Mon, seriously, you lost me." Joey leaves for the bathroom.

"Mon," Ross begins and gets up to put his hands on Monica's shoulders. "We are not trying to hide something from you. You've gotta believe us."

"Well, Ross, I tried. But I can't anymore. I want to know what happened to Chandler. Is he in the hospital? Did he die?" Monica's been there. She has thought about everything that could have possibly happened and her mind also passed this frightening thought.

Monica notices that her friends blush and look towards the floor.

"Oh my God. You would tell me if something terrible would have happened, right? I … I mean, I told him that I don't want to see him anymore, but I didn't … didn't mean it that way. Why are you not saying anything? Please, don't tell me something happened to him. I … I could never …" Monica knees go weak and she sits down on the couch. She could honestly never forgive herself if something happened to Chandler while she had all the mean thoughts about him. Just the thought of her losing him after their fight makes her eyes go wet.

Ross shakes his head. "No, he isn't, Mon. He's just working late."

"Stop it, Ross, please," Monica whispers and a sob comes out of her throat.

Rachel, who hasn't said a word until now, moves closer to Monica and gives her friend a tight hug. "Nothing happened, Mon. He got promoted and works in Tulsa now."

The jaws of all the other people in the room drop.

"Rachel!" Ross shouts.

"Well, would you look at her?" She points at Monica who is looking at her in shock. Her face is pale and her eyes wide-open. "We had to tell her sometime!"

"What?" Monica croaks out.

"He got a job offer in Tulsa and took it," Rachel says slowly.

Monica shakes her head. "No."

"Yes, it's true," Ross sighs. "I'm sorry. He didn't want us to tell you."

"He's in Tulsa?" Monica still can't believe what she has heard just a few seconds ago. She imagined the worst, but never would she have thought that this is the reason why she hasn't seen Chandler lately.

"Yes," Phoebe says and all of her other friends nod. Monica's eyes land on Simon, who is also nodding along.

"You knew about it?" She asks her boyfriend.

Simon shrugs. "Well, we work together."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"He asked me not to. He told me he would call you as soon as he's in Tulsa. When he didn't I assumed he must have good reasons not to call."

Monica looks around the apartment. "Chandler doesn't live here anymore?"

"No," Ross shakes his head.

Slowly Monica gets up. "No," She shakes her head. "You are still telling stories." She walks towards Chandler's room and opens the door. She takes two steps inside the small room, but she saw it by just looking in it: Nobody lives here at the moment. The bed is made so neatly, Chandler wouldn't do that if he knows that he's coming back in the evening anyway. The doors to the big wardrobe are open and there isn't much in it. No book on the nightstand, not even the small bottle of water that is always there, because Chandler often wakes up feeling thirsty. Nothing. Her friends are right. He's not there anymore.

With tears in her eyes Monica climbs on the bed, buries her face in the pillow and starts to weep freely.

"Honey? Are you alright?" After a while Monica hears Simon's voice.

She shakes her head, still not being able to stop crying. "Leave me alone," she whispers without even looking at her boyfriend.

She can't look at him right now. It feels like her world falls apart and Simon wouldn't understand. Couldn't. She has imagined the worst. But the truth is so much more hurtful.


	12. Chapter 12

_I read that you really miss Chandler? I do so, too, so let's have a look how he's doing in Tulsa._

"Monica?"

Monica looks up at Simon. She knows he's been talking to her, but she hasn't paid attention. Her thoughts are on Chandler. She still can't believe that he just went to live in another state without even telling her. Why did he do that? She asked herself the question a thousand times during the last days, but couldn't find the answer to it. When she told him that she doesn't want to see him anymore, she assumed he would come to talk to her after one or two days. When he didn't come over she thought he's maybe still pissed, sitting in his apartment and pouting. Never in a million years had she thought that he just left without a word. Between all the sadness that's in her there is also anger. Anger, because he run away like a little child. She would love to yell at him, but there's no chance she can do that. She has talked to the girls about that, but they don't know how to reach him. And when she asked Joey for his phone number, he shook his head. Chandler didn't even give his best friend and roommate the chance to call him.

"Mon?"

"Sorry, what did you say?"

Simon sighs. He wasn't able to talk to his girlfriend normally since she found out that Chandler has left New York. She is always so deep in thought and doesn't pay any attention to him. Of course he knows that she is thinking about Chandler and he would totally be jealous if he didn't know that Chandler and Monica are just friends and nothing more. He didn't even know that two people can be as close as the two of them. To be honest, sometimes he feels a little jealous. And not because he wants a friendship like the two of them share. But because he can do whatever he wants, there will always be a guy that is as important to Monica as him. If not more important.

"I booked a table at your favorite restaurant tonight." He smiles. He has been the luckiest guy in the world during the last month. Sometimes he doesn't even believe it himself, but he and Monica are already going out for a month today. And he promised himself that he will do anything to make this one month-anniversary unforgettable for both of them.

"What's tonight?" Monica asks.

Simon huffs. It's hard not to get angry, but the expression on Monica's face tells him that she really doesn't know what is going on.

"Don't you wanna celebrate our one month-anniversary today?" He asks softly.

Monica blushes. "Oh, sorry. I totally forgot."

"Doesn't matter. Because I didn't and I'm really looking forward to take you out."

"Simon?" Monica asks cautiously. She knows that Simon doesn't have an easy job with her lately. And she tries to make it as easy for him as possible. But all she is able to think about at the moment is Chandler and she doesn't want to bother Simon with that. She wishes he'd understand, but either he isn't able to or he doesn't want to. "Don't get me wrong, I'd love for you to take me out, but I'm not really feeling like going out into public today. I'd rather stay here."

"Honey, I know that you are upset because Chandler left without saying anything, but don't let that ruin our anniversary. Please."

"I can't. I'm sorry, Simon. I can't go out with you today."

Simon takes a deep breath. "I hate that guy," he mumbles. "I wish I could just kill him."

"Simon! He is my best friend!"

"Apparently not anymore, Mon. He left. Without saying goodbye to you. He didn't even care enough to say goodbye. That's not what friends do."

"It's not his fault. I told him to leave and now I have to deal with it."

"Do you want me to leave?" Simon sighs. He thinks he already knows the answer to that question. It seems like Monica doesn't even want to be around him lately.

"No," Monica walks towards him and hugs him. "I don't want you to leave, Simon."

Simon has a small smile on his lips while he hugs her. As much as he loves spending time with Monica, if he would have known how close Chandler and Monica really are, he would have never gotten between them.

* * *

Whistling a song he heard in the radio this morning, Chandler walks up the stairs to his office. Chandler has worked at his new job for a few days now and he loves it. It's still a lot like his old job and he still can't imagine doing that forever, but he loves his office, which is bigger than the one he sat in in New York and it's all his, and his colleagues in Tulsa. They seem much nicer and more easy-going than the colleagues he had back in New York. And they eat lunch together almost every day and even invite Chandler, even though they weren't really thrilled when they found out that they get a team leader from New York City. Chandler didn't imagine the job in Tulsa being so much fun, but it really is. And he had a lot to do and couldn't think about Monica and his other friends back in New York often, which is really nice for a change. He can't imagine going out with another woman in the near future, but he also doesn't think about his dark-haired friend all day. It's different at night time. When he's lying in his bed and it's dark everywhere, he still thinks about Monica a lot and he can't count the times he woke up from a sexy dream with her. Or just a dream where the two of them enjoy and spend time together, for all that matters.

When he walks into his office, he sees the red light of the answering machine. No one calls him during his lunch breaks. No one, except for Ross. He gave him – and only him – his number for emergencies. And only for emergencies. At first Ross didn't call at all, but lately he has been talking to Chandler's answering machine a lot. The first time was right after Rachel told Monica that he works in Tulsa now. It was almost a week after he left and Chandler was really amazed at how long they were able to keep that from Monica. He always assumed his friends told her right after he left. Because, come on, it's really hard to keep a secret from Monica.

And after that there were more messages from Ross. Some of them tell Chandler that Monica is not doing fine at all or that Simon is really pissed at him because he believes that Chandler is the one who is slowly but steadily ruining Monica and Simon's relationship. And some of Ross' messages are less important. Just two days ago he called very excitedly to let him know that Ben pulled himself up on the couch and is now very close to walking. Chandler had a hard time understanding his friend, because he was screaming very loudly, but he had a big smile on his face. Even though he gave Ross his number only for emergencies, he likes the fact that Ross wants to keep him up-to-date with the things that are going on in New York. He hasn't picked up the phone yet though. He has always let his machine answer the call. Chandler doesn't really know why he is doing that, but he feels like he is not ready to talk to Ross yet.

Taking a deep breath Chandler pushes the button to hear what Ross has to say today.

"Hey Chandler, it's me." Ross, of course. "I hope you are doing fine. Are your colleagues treating you well?" Ross always starts with this or a similar question. Chandler assumes that he wants him to call back, but he didn't do that yet. "Listen … umm, Chandler … she is not doing well. Not at all. I'm … we are afraid that she is going to ruin that relationship with Simon … she is … she doesn't want to do anything since you left. Could you at least call her, please?"

Chandler puts the phone back down and sighs. He doesn't want to know what is going on with her. He just wants her to be happy with Simon; that was always his plan. But apparently his plan is not working and he hates himself for putting her through this. He can live with the pain he feels whenever he is thinking about her and about what could have been, but knowing that she is hurting, too, - that is something he can't stand.

With his hands shaking he gets the phone and begins to dial. He doesn't know what to say to her, maybe he will just try to explain why he had to go. Well, he won't tell her the truth, because that would be too much to handle for her. But he can tell her a story of a once in a lifetime-experience with his job and … probably she will believe him. His other friends believed him as well, at least at first.

With his heart beating fast Chandler listens to the beeping tone and waits for Monica to get the phone on the other end of the line. He still doesn't know what to say. What if she doesn't even want to talk to him? Maybe she is going to put the phone down as soon as she hears his voice. Maybe she doesn't even pick up the phone. Or maybe – and even worse – Simon is answering it. What the hell is he going to say to Simon? This guy obviously hates him. And Chandler understands him. He is the guy who …

"Hello?" He hears Monica's voice on the other end of the line.

At the same time there is a knock at the door and one of his colleagues looks into his office. "Sir?"

Shocked Chandler puts the phone back down and looks at his colleague. "Yes?" His heart is beating fast.

"We would like to have your opinion on this idea we had."

"Sure, I'm coming." Chandler nods. With a last look at the phone he leaves his office. His colleagues need him. He can't just bring private things to his work. He is the boss here and has to be an example for his employees. Hearing Monica's voice was hard enough. He couldn't have said anything anyway.

* * *

The phone is ringing again. Monica sighs. What is wrong with this thing lately? Why keeps everyone calling her? Since the time that she answered the phone but no one was there, it rings a lot.

"Hello?" Monica says.

"Hello? Can I speak to Miss Geller?" Monica doesn't recognize the voice at the phone. Who could that be?

"I'm Monica Geller."

"I'm calling from Tulsa. Mister Bing had a heavy accident and he put you down as his emergency contact."

"Yes?" Monica is holding her breath. What happened? The voice of this woman doesn't sound happy, does it?

"I'm so sorry, Miss Geller. He didn't survive the accident. He is …"

She puts the telephone down and sinks down onto the floor next to the couch. It only takes a few seconds until everything goes black in front of Monica's eyes.

 _XXX_

 _Okay, guys, I really, really wanted to stop here. I haven't posted a cliffhanger in a long time, but I just couldn't do it. You guys are so great and nice to me, so I decided to give you a little bit more._

 _XXX_

Drenched in sweat Monica awakes. She wants to scream, but no sound escapes her mouth. Was that phone call real? Did he really … have an accident? No, no, it was just a dream. A terrible nightmare, but a dream. Chandler is save. Nothing happened.

But somehow Monica can't believe that. She has to make sure that he is okay. Slowly and quietly, so that she doesn't wake Simon up, Monica gets out of her bed and makes her way across the hall. She is lucky, because Joey and Chandler never lock their door, so she is able to walk in the apartment. Monica has her fingers crossed: Please let him be okay. Please don't let the phone call be true. Please, please, please.

She opens the door, hopes to see Chandler lying in his bed, but she stops in the tracks. No one is there. In fact, the room looks like no one lived in it for quite a while. And suddenly everything comes rushing back to her: Chandler left. He is not there, because he works in Tulsa now. He has left her here, all alone, and without even saying goodbye.

A sob escapes Monica's throat and she lies down on the bed. She buries his face deep in one of the pillows and takes a deep breath. If she really concentrates the pillow smells like him a little bit.

 _Oh Chandler_ , she thinks. _Why did you have to leave me?_ With that thought she falls asleep.

* * *

Monica awakes the next morning and doesn't know where she is first. She hears screaming outside of her door.

"What if she did something to herself?" That is definitely Simon's voice. He sounds so worried.

"No, Monica wouldn't." Rachel. Worried, too.

"Let's just think where she could be," Joey. With a surprisingly awake voice. Monica looks at the clock. It's almost 9.30. She hasn't slept that long and well in years. And suddenly everything comes rushing back to her. The phone call, her fear for Chandler. Now she knows where she is. She is lying in Chandler's bed, couldn't go back to her own bed after she once again realized that Chandler is gone.

Monica gets up with shaking legs. "Good morning," she greets her friends and her boyfriend.

"Good morning," Joey says.

Simon reaches out for her and pulls her tightly. "Where have you been?"

Monica sighs. She doesn't really want to tell Simon the truth. She doesn't want to hurt him and the truth is most likely hurting him. But on the other hand, he deserves to hear what really happened. "I had a terrible dream last night and just wanted to make sure that Chandler is okay."

"And?"

"And he wasn't. Because he just left and I … I," Monica stops. She just can't talk about it.

Simon takes a deep breath. He has a serious look on his face right now. "Monica, we need to talk."

"O-okay."

"Come on, Joey, let's get some coffee," Rachel says.

"I don't really feel like …" Joey begins, but Rachel takes his arm and drags him with her.

"Let's go, Joe."

The door clicks shut after the two and Monica looks at Simon. He doesn't look happy at all.

"I don't think I'm the right guy for you," Simon begins and Monica looks at him in shock.

"What? No, you are. I've never been happier than I am with you."

"That's not true, Monica, and you know it. You've been anything but happy these last few weeks."

"Yes, but that's only because … because …" Monica tries to find a reason. She can't have Simon leave her as well.

"… because of Chandler?"

Monica nods.

"That's the problem, Mon. I'm not Chandler and I can't replace him for you. I love spending time with you, but I can't have my girlfriend loving another guy more than she loves me."

"I don't, Simon, I don't!" Tears are already waiting at the corner of her eyes and Monica hates herself that she starts to cry so easily lately.

"Okay, tell me one thing," Simon pleads. "And I want the truth, Monica. Who would you rather have here with you at the moment? Me or Chandler?"

Monica looks at the ground. She had a name right there on her lips. But she couldn't say it. She doesn't want to hurt Simon more than she already did.

"I'm right, right? You would give me up without a second thought if that means that Chandler would come back, right?"

Monica nods slowly. She can't deny it anymore. Simon is right and he has probably known that for a while now.

"See? That's why I'm not the right guy for you, Monica."

"I … I thought you are," she sobs.

"You're a great girl, but you have to wait for the guy that means more to you than he does. Then you'll know he's the right one."

Monica nods again. Her heart is breaking; she really thought Simon might be the perfect guy for her. But he's right. It's not fair to him and she's glad he's finally speaking about it. In the end it has to be the guy who is the most important to her. Even if she doesn't have a clue how she is ever going to find a man who is more important to her than Chandler.

"Goodbye, Monica," Simon whispers and gives her a quick peck on the lips. Monica pulls him in for a tight hug. She is not ready to let him go just yet, but knows that it has to be done. He deserves to find a woman who loves him with all her heart. And she can't do it.

Simon lets her go and walks towards the door. Monica watches him, the tears in her eyes blurring her vision.

"I hope he comes back to you," Simon says as he opens the door and turns around to catch one last look on Monica. "I really do."

Monica nods sobbing. So does she. And after she has Chandler back as her friend she is going to look for the perfect guy again. Even though she can't imagine finding someone who means more to her than Chandler.

The door closes behind Simon and Monica sighs. Suddenly the door opens again and Simon puts his head through it. "And Monica? Maybe, if you can't find someone else, it's because you already found the guy you love the most."

Monica wrinkles her forehead. What does that mean? She knows that there is some truth to what Simon has just said, but can't think about it right now. The door closes, for good this time, and Simon is gone. Sobbing Monica walks back into Chandler's bedroom and collapses onto his bed. Right now it feels like she lost everything that had any importance in her life.

 _I promise the next chapter will have a less sad ending!_

 _I know some of you were waiting for Monica to realize that Simon is horrible, but I just never pictured Simon as a bad guy. He sure has some flaws, but in my head, he and Monica really fit together. He just wasn't the right one. We all agree on who's the perfect guy for her though, right?_


	13. Chapter 13

_Okay, I think there are a few things I have to explain. :)_

 _First of all, thank you so much for still reading and reviewing this story. And thanks for sticking with it even though it probably has lots of mistakes in language and probably also in the story itself._

 _Actually, the thing Simon said about his colleague who doesn't even work half as hard as he does, was only for you and I to realize that he's not the nice guy Monica thinks he is. Now I definitely see that Monica should figure out that Chandler is that colleague of Simon's, but I haven't really thought about that when I wrote that part of the story because I had a really clear picture of how it's going to be. So, just imagine Monica couldn't connect the dots, because she's … well, because she's really sad._

 _Also, mondlerconfessions saw that this story's genre is still Humor/Romance. In the beginning I wanted to write a much happier and funnier story, but as I was writing I noticed that I'd really like some Drama. ;) But I've changed the genre now, thanks for mentioning, mondlerconfessions!_

 _As my internship starts on Monday, my updates won't come that fast anymore when I start to work. So enjoy it as long as it's still happening. ;)_

 _Now, that was a long AN (by my standards). You deserve to read the next chapter now:_

* * *

Rachel walks into the living room of apartment 19 and shakes her head. During the last two weeks she and her friends have tried everything to get through to Monica and make her come out of the room. They didn't expect her to go out or look for a job, but they really wanted her to join them at the coffee house. But they weren't successful. She didn't even leave the room to watch a movie with them.

"No luck?" Ross asks.

Rachel shakes her head again. "Not at all. She won't even talk to me. All she does is lying in this stupid bed and crying into the stupid pillow."

"It's horrible to see her like this," Joey mumbles.

"I know," Phoebe sighs. "Monica is usually so strong. I never thought a guy could make her feel like this."

"She must have really loved Simon," Ross whispers. "I hate that guy! How could he do that to her?"

"You don't know why he left, Ross," Rachel says cautiously. "Maybe he had a good reason."

Ross turns around to look at Rachel. "Do you know more than we do?" He asks.

"No, I don't," Rachel says, trying to calm him down again. Sometimes she envies Monica for her brother. Even though he is very protective at times, Rachel would still love to have a big brother who's always on her side.

"Because if you do, you have to tell us, Rachel," Ross says urgently.

Rachel nods. She doesn't know anything. But she suspects that it's not about Simon. Simon was only the straw to break the camel's back. Monica has been down since she found out that Chandler left. In Rachel's opinion, that's the main problem. But her friends don't seem to think that.

"Should we call him and tell him how miserable she's been since he left?" Phoebe asks.

"No," Ross shakes his head. "He is not allowed to come back again. What if he comes back now and then decides to leave her once again? Simon is an idiot and we are not calling him!"

"But," Joey begins. "We can't do anything to make her feel better, Ross. We tried everything. Maybe Phoebe's idea is not the worst. Maybe it would help to call him."

"I won't do it," Ross says and shakes his head again. He has never seen his sister like that and it kills him to watch her being so sad. He would do anything to make her feel better, but he doesn't think that calling Simon would help. Ross has no idea what occurred between him and his sister, but just the thought of her having to go through the exact same thing when Simon decides to leave her once again is too much. He could never do that to her.

The friends fall into silence. No one knows what to do next. They are all on the same page: They want to make Monica feel better again. But they tried so much and nothing helped. She is still lying in the bed, not willing to move just a little bit.

"Guys?" Rachel suddenly begins. She doesn't know what her friends will think about her idea, but she knows that that might be the only possibility to get through to Monica. "Maybe we should call someone else."

All eyes are on Rachel at once. "No, Rachel, are you crazy? We are not calling the madhouse!" Joey exclaims.

"I don't think that's what Rachel meant, Joey," Phoebe giggles. She thinks she knows what Rachel wants to suggest.

"Oh," Joey looks at Rachel with a surprised look on his face. "What did you mean, Rach?"

Rachel takes a deep breath. "I think we should call Chandler."

"Chandler?" Joey wrinkles his forehead. "What could he possibly do that we can't?"

"He knows Monica inside out. I don't know how he does it, but he is always able to cheer her up. She trusts him more than she trusts any of us, let's be honest!" Rachel says and looks at Ross, who hasn't said anything yet. He is suddenly surprisingly interested in his shoes.

"I … I don't know if he could help us here," Joey says quietly.

"We should give it a try," Phoebe smiles at Rachel. "I think Rachel just had the best idea anyone came up with yet."

"What about my idea?" Joey asks hurt.

"Calling the madhouse?" Phoebe looks at Joey.

"No, I suggest we just get in there, pick her up and go do something fun. I still think that will help."

"We are not going to carry Monica anywhere, Joey," Phoebe shakes her head.

"Fine, but don't say that no one except for Rachel has good ideas!"

"So we are going to try calling him?" Rachel asks, completely ignoring Phoebe and Joey's discussion.

"I think we should," Phoebe nods. "But … how are we gonna do that? We don't have his number."

"Joey, do you have it?" Rachel turns to Chandler's roommate.

He shakes his head. "No, unfortunately not. Monica asked me the exact same thing, probably to yell at him, but he didn't give me his number."

"Oh," Rachel mumbles. "So what else can we do?"

"Maybe his boss or someone at his old office can give us his number," Phoebe suggests.

"Great idea, Pheebs. How are we gonna do it though? Do you think they are allowed to give us his number?"

"I don't know, but I will try it," Phoebe says. "I can't stand seeing her like this any longer. We have to do _something_!"

"He doesn't answer his phone," Ross suddenly whispers.

"What?" Rachel looks at Ross, not believing what she just thought she heard.

"He is not answering his phone," Ross repeats, louder this time.

"How do you know that?"

"He gave me his number and I already tried to call him a couple of times. I only ever spoke to his answering machine."

"You had his number the whole time and didn't tell us?" Rachel asks.

"Yes. He told me it's only for emergencies and I knew that you all would have wanted to call him the whole time."

"Yes, of course," Joey shouts. "He is my best friend and just left without giving me any chance to get in contact with him. I would have wanted to talk to him!"

"Me, too," Phoebe continues. "I would have told him off for leaving without talking to Monica."

"So you don't think he would answer the phone if we'd call him right now?" Rachel asks Ross.

"I have no idea," Ross shrugs.

"I think we should at least try," Phoebe says.

"Okay," Ross nods. "Let's try to get him to talk to us."

He pulls a small piece of paper from his pocket.

"You have the number with you all the time?" Rachel asks and laughs.

"Yes, I just thought because it's for emergencies," Ross shrugs.

"Come on, dial the number," Phoebe urges.

Ross nods and takes the telephone in his hands. Taking a deep breath he dials the number he hasn't dialed since Monica and Simon broke up.

"And?" Joey asks a second later.

Ross rolls his eyes. "It's ringing." He has his fingers crossed that Chandler will answer the phone. He hasn't thought about it himself, but now, that he thought about it a little bit, he is sure that Rachel's right. That this is their only possibility to make Monica feel better.

"If he doesn't answer it I'm going to fly to Tulsa and I'm going to kick his ass," Phoebe says angrily.

All color has vanished from Ross' face. It's still ringing and he knows that it will only a take a few more rings before the answering machine will get the call.

In Tulsa one of his colleagues his sitting across from Chandler. They talk about an important meeting they have tomorrow. But his phone doesn't stop ringing. He has already looked at the number. It's a number from New York, he knows that much. Ross, was his first thought. He was already wondering why his friend hasn't called him lately. He hasn't heard about what is going on in New York for two weeks now. But he recognizes Ross' number by now and the number that is calling him right now is not it. What if something happened to someone? He gave his number to Ross for emergencies and even though Ross called him a lot when it wasn't an emergency, it could be one right now. Chandler isn't even listening to his colleague anymore, even though he really should. His boss from New York is coming to the meeting tomorrow and will watch Chandler closely.

"I'm sorry, I have to get that," Chandler says quickly and picks up the phone before his colleague is able to get up and leave the office. He is really scared now. What if something terrible has happened?

"Chandler Bing?"

"Ch-chandler? Are you there?" Ross asks, not believing that Chandler really answered the phone himself.

"Yes, Ross, is that you?"

"It's me. Chandler, listen. He broke up with her and it's … it's killing her. She … she is not leaving the bed and … we don't know what to do anymore. We tried everything, but most of the time she isn't even talking to us. So … umm … Rachel had the idea of calling you. We … we don't know if it's gonna work, but maybe you can cheer her up. She's been horrible since you … since you left and now that Simon left her, too, it just got worse and worse. We … maybe you are the only person who could help her. We know that you are really busy, but maybe you can come to New York for the weekend? We really don't know what to do anymore. Can you come? Please? … Chandler? Are you still there?"

But Chandler is not there anymore. "The idiot just put the phone away. He … he didn't even say anything." Ross is shocked. Never in a thousand years would he have thought that Chandler would be able to do something like that.

"What?" Rachel asks, also not believing what Ross is saying.

"I'm going to kill him," Phoebe says with clenched teeth.

"That wasn't Chandler!" Joey says.

"What?" Rachel asks, again, but this time looking at Joey.

"Chandler would never be able to do something like that. I'm beginning to believe that he really got kidnapped by aliens and they send an alien to earth that looks just like him, but doesn't act like him. Because the real Chandler would never do that. He would never do that, not to _Monica_."

"Well, Joey, I'm sorry to tell you that he just did do that," Ross says bitterly. "We were all there to witness this beautiful act of friendship."

"Do you know where to find him? Because I'm definitely going to kill him right now," Phoebe says and gets up.


	14. Chapter 14

_You just know me (and Chandler) too well, don't you? ;)_

In Tulsa, Chandler is trying to get a cab. He hasn't even listened to all of Ross' rambling. He didn't have to. The first sentence was enough. _He broke up with her and it's killing her_. He broke up with her and it's killing her. He hears Ross saying this sentence all the time in his head. Seeing how happy Monica was with Simon he can only imagine how she is feeling now. Why the hell did he leave her? What was he thinking? He hasn't thought it through. He thought he was doing the right thing, but he was just being egoistic. He didn't want to watch the two lovebirds but didn't think about the time Monica would really need him. The thought of their fight and his feelings for her cross his mind shortly. But he brushes the thoughts away.

Finally a cab stops right in front of him and he jumps into the car. "To the airport," he tells the driver, breathing heavily.

Yes, she told him that she doesn't want to see him ever again. But that doesn't matter now. Monica needs him and he is going to be there for her. That is the easiest math Chandler has ever done.

* * *

Chandler hurries up the stairs of the apartment building that he used to live in. It feels like only yesterday that he ran down the stairs, so sure that he is doing the right thing by going to Tulsa. He had a lot of time to think about at the airport while he waited for his flight to leave and in the plane. He thought about all the things he'd done wrong. The main thing being of course leaving Monica. How dumb was he? He finally realized he had these feelings for a girl and he for once knows that he could spend the rest of his life with her. And what does he do? Runs away. Before telling her about his feeling. That is even stupider than all the times he run away after it got a little serious with a woman. It's the stupidest thing he has ever done and he just hopes that Monica is able to forgive him.

Without even looking at the door of his old apartment, he runs into Monica's. That's the first thing he has to do: see her, talk to her, hug her. There is nothing that is more important right now.

The living room is empty, a fact that would surprise him if he wouldn't just think about the woman he's in love with. He rushes towards Monica's bedroom, opens the door and stops in the tracks. She is not there. Where is she? What happened?

Scared he leaves the apartment and stops in front of apartment 19. He takes a deep breath. Chandler doesn't know whether to knock or not. It's not his apartment anymore and Joey might have another roommate by now who doesn't want him just walking into the room without knocking. After a little while Chandler decides to knock, but he opens the door right after that.

Four pairs of eyes land on him as he walks into the apartment and he smiles insecurely.

"Hey guys," he says.

No one says a thing and Chandler starts to feel really uncomfortable.

"Is everything okay?" He asks alarmed. The fact that Monica wasn't in her room scared him, and now, seeing his friends' faces doesn't make it better. What if she did something to herself? He hasn't listened to all of Ross' story on the phone and therefore doesn't know how bad it got her. "Guys?"

"Y-you're here?" Ross asks, his voice barely a whisper. "Why?"

"You told me to come," Chandler says, wrinkling his forehead. Has it just been a dream? Hasn't Ross called him? Didn't he tell him that Simon broke up with Monica?

"I … I thought … you didn't say anything. And you put the phone away!" Ross has found his voice again and sounds very angry now.

"That was because I was already looking for a cab to the airport," Chandler explains.

Suddenly he has Joey in his arms. His friend slaps him on his back. "I knew you wouldn't just not answer the phone anymore. I knew you'd come to see her."

Chandler smiles at Joey. He had missed his roommate. He didn't let these kinds of thoughts enter his mind in Tulsa, but he really had.

Then the reason why he came to New York enters Chandler's mind again. "Where is Mon? I was in her room, but she's not there. Did something happen?"

"You really came to talk to her?" Phoebe asks, still angry at him.

Chandler nods. "Of course. Thank you for calling me, Ross, by the way."

"I'm glad you picked up and came," Ross mumbles.

Chandler blushes. It wasn't fair not to answer all of Ross' calls. That's one thing on his list of stupid things he has done in the last few weeks.

"So do you know where she is?" Chandler asks again, very impatiently.

Rachel points to the door of his former room. "She … I don't know … I guess she wanted to be closer to you."

Hearing Rachel's words Chandler's heart breaks. What has he done to Monica by leaving her? How can he ever forgive himself for doing that?

Chandler is almost at the door, when he hears Ross' voice again. He turns around to look at his long friend.

"Chandler? She is … you might not … she changed a lot from when you last saw her. And … she is so vulnerable at the moment. Please, if she … if she doesn't want to talk to you, just leave, okay?"

Chandler nods slowly. He would never do anything to make Monica feel bad. But then he remembers that he was the one who has done the one thing that hurt her the most. With his heart beating rapidly he opens the door.

And stops, shocked about what he sees. She is lying on his bed. But Ross was right. She doesn't look like she looked when he left. She is thinner, her face is pale and it looks like she hasn't done her hair in months. Chandler's eyes fill with tears. He can't believe that he is looking at Monica, this super-strong woman, his best friend.

All he wants to do is hug her and never let her go again. Hug her, until the pain that is written all over her face, even though she has her eyes closed, vanishes. Kiss her until she realizes how much she really means to him. But all he can do is stand there and watch her. He doesn't want to scare her. "Monica," he whispers sadly.

Suddenly she opens her eyes and her jaw drops. Her first thought is that she's dreaming or hallucinating. She was doing that a lot lately. She doesn't count the times anymore she opened her eyes and he was there, smiling at her, talking to her. But slowly the reality comes to her mind: He is really here, in this room. Monica gets up quickly, her legs shaking because she was lying in the bed for almost 24 hours a day the last few days, but Chandler catches her in his arms and pulls her closely.

And that's the moment Monica finally feels complete again. She takes a deep breath as tears are streaming down her face. She can't do anything against it, they are just coming out of her eyes constantly.

Suddenly all the pain she felt because Chandler left comes back to her. Anger starts to rise in her chest and she tears away from him.

"You idiot," she screams. "How could you leave me?" She hits him on the chest and Chandler clenches his teeth. She may not look like it, but she still is very strong and her hitting him really hurts. But he can't do anything to stop her, he deserves all of it and, if he's being really honest, he deserves even worse. "I needed you, Chandler!" Another hit. "I needed you like never before. And you … you weren't there." Two more slaps. "You didn't even have the courage to tell me goodbye." Monica's voice starts to sound shrill, but she doesn't stop boxing him. "You didn't even say goodbye." Her hitting slows down and she starts to sob again. "You are the most horrible person on the planet," Monica whispers, hugging herself.

"I know," Chandler sighs and pulls her close again. His heart breaks seeing her like this.

"I missed you so much," Monica whispers and wraps her arms tightly around his waist. It's just a matter of seconds until his shirt is soaking wet from her tears. But Chandler doesn't care. He is just standing there, his arms around her, and runs his fingers through her dark hair. There are also some cheeky little tears in the corner of his eyes. Why did he ever think that he could live without Monica hugging him? Because he can't. He knows that now more than ever. He could never live without her close to him. And, right now, it isn't even important if she's close to him as a friend or his girlfriend. He just needs her in his life.

They stay like that for a while. Suddenly Joey looks into the room. He looks at Chandler. "Are you okay?"

Chandler presses a kiss on Monica's hair and nods slowly.

"Great, we were just wondering because it has been quiet in here for quite a while now," Joey whispers. Before he closes the door again, he turns to his other friends. "She's gonna be alright," he tells them, relieve in his voice. Then he casts a last look at Chandler and Monica and closes the door again.

Chandler smiles. She _is_ going to be alright. They are. He can't believe how lucky they got with their friends. He doesn't know, but he's pretty sure that none of them really left the apartment lately, all too worried about Monica. And he knows one thing for sure: it's very hard to find better friends than them.

* * *

"Why did you leave, Chandler?" Monica wanted to ask that question all the time, but didn't know how to start. She and Chandler are sitting on his bed, talking about everything. Well, not exactly everything. They skipped all the delicate questions. Chandler has his arm around Monica's shoulder and she couldn't be happier about it. From the minute he caught her in his arms she knew that everything is going to be okay after all. But there was still this tiny little voice in her head that whispered in her ear: Don't trust him too much, Monica. He just left and he could do it again. In the end she decided to just ask him about it. They were always able to speak about everything with each other.

"I'm so, so sorry for leaving, Monica. I … should have at least told you about it."

"You should have. But you came back and that's what counts. But … why did you leave?"

Chandler sighs. "I had this great job offer and … after thinking about it a lot, I decided to go."

"You know what I mean, Chandler, right? And please don't lie to me."

"Okay," Chandler sighs. He blushes and looks at his hands, not able to look at her directly. "Okay, I'm gonna tell you something now, Mon. And please promise me to not say anything until I'm finished."

"I promise," Monica says. She's really worried right now. What is he going to tell her?

"Okay, here it goes," Chandler takes a deep breath. "I left because I … well, when you realize that you are in love with your best friend, but set her up with another guy, there is not much left than leave. Because it's too hard to look at them kissing, enjoying the time, being happy. It's too much, Monica. And when at that time your boss wants you to run the office in Tulsa, you are more than happy to take this job. Because that way you'll be away from the woman you love, loving the wrong man."

Chandler hasn't looked up since he started talking. He still can't believe that he told Monica all that, but once he started he couldn't stop anymore.

Monica's head is thumping. She can't believe what Chandler just said. She has never heard something as honest as that from Chandler. And she knows what it means, she just can't comprehend all of it just yet. Chandler fell in love with his best friend? But he set her up with someone? Suddenly everything falls into pieces. She's his best friend. And he set her up with Simon.

"Oh my God," she whispers and looks at Chandler. He is still not looking at her. Vulnerability is written all over his face. "Chandler?" She whispers softly.

Chandler lifts his head. His eyes are still on his hands though. Monica puts her left hand on his right cheek and looks at him pleadingly. "Chandler?"

Finally his eyes are meeting hers. They are from the deepest blue and Monica feels like she is drowning in them. He is looking at her, but is still not saying a word.

"Chandler?" Monica repeats. "Did you mean all of what you've said?"

Chandler turns away his head again.

"Hey, Chandler. Look at me!" Monica pleads. "Did you really mean that?"

He lifts his head again, looking at her intensely. "To-totally," he confesses.

"Oh Chandler," Monica sighs and her head falls on his shoulder. She wraps her arms around his waist and just enjoys being near her best friend.

"I … I don't … don't know what … to … say right now," Monica stutters after a while. "It is … too much right now. I … I don't know how I feel about … about all that."

Chandler slides down until they are both lying next to each other. Then he pulls Monica close to his chest again and whispers: "You don't have to say anything right now, Mon."

Monica starts to breathe evenly and calms down quickly. She hasn't slept well or at all in a long time. But she has never felt more comfortable in her entire life. With that thought she falls asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

_And there you go. :) The chapter we've all been waiting for._

In the middle of the night Monica awakes. She needs some time to realize that she's not alone. She is still lying in Chandler's arms and it doesn't feel weird at all. Gradually Chandler's words from last night come back to her mind. _… when you realize you're in love with your best friend … the woman you love, loving the wrong man …_ She can't believe he really said that. Much more, she can't believe he really feels that way. About her. He must have hurt so badly, no wonder that he left. Suddenly Monica remembers the words Simon said to her right before _he_ left: _Maybe, if you can't find someone else, it's because you already found the guy you love the most._ Can this be possible? Is that the reason why she felt like one part of her left when Chandler left? Is that why, when Simon asked her, she could have lived without her boyfriend, but not without Chandler? Does she … is she in love with him? Monica turns around to look at him, he has his eyes closed and is sleeping peacefully. He definitely is cute. Very cute. And he cares about her, more than any other man ever has or probably will do. Monica knows that for sure. But … they are friends. She shouldn't have all those feeling towards a friend. _He is so much more_ flashes through Monica's mind. She needs to find out whether they would work out or not. As soon as he's awake she has to figure out her feelings.

Monica closes her eyes again, trying to find back to sleep. But she can't. Not now. Not when she just discovered that the guy next to her might be _the_ guy.

"Chandler," she whispers and shakes him lightly. "Chandler, wake up."

Slowly Chandler opens his right eye and looks at her. Monica sees that his mind is working fast, trying to figure out what is going on right now.

"Hey," she smiles softly.

"Mon," he smiles as well. "So I didn't dream all of what happened last night? I … I really said all these stupid things and made the situation between us even more awkward?"

Monica shakes her head. "You didn't. It wasn't a dream, but you didn't."

Chandler sighs relieved. After Monica fell asleep earlier he thought about everything he told her and couldn't believe himself. How could he have said all those things to her? How could he have been completely honest with her? And she didn't say anything about it. That was the worst part. The part that kept him awake for a long time. She didn't say anything.

"Kiss me," Monica whispers suddenly.

Chandler looks at her, shocked. Is that just whishful thinking? Because that is exactly the answer he was hoping for.

"Kiss me," Monica repeats. "I just want to see something."

His hands are shaking when he frames Monica's face with them. He had wished for this moment for a long time, but is not sure if he can really do it right now. It's Monica he is looking at right now. Monica. His friend. How can he actually be thinking about kissing her?

"I … I don't … I don't wanna ruin this … our friendship," he stutters.

Tears are welling in Monica's eyes. He has no idea how much this means to her. That he is thinking about their friendship in this special moment. Because their friendship is too damn special to ever ruin. But if they don't have the courage now, they might never know what could have been.

"Chandler, please," she pleads.

Chandler strokes her hair back. "Are you sure?" He whispers.

Before Monica can even nod his lips meet hers and she can't think straight anymore.

He is doing it. She is doing it. They are finally doing it.

And it has never felt better. Monica doesn't know whether to cry or laugh. She decides to keep on kissing him, because that is definitely the best option right now. But tears are streaming down her face nevertheless, too happy to hold them back. After all that has happened during the last few weeks, she has finally found him. She just knows it: she has found the perfect guy. And he has always been there already.

* * *

"What do you wanna do today?" Monica asks lazily the next morning. Chandler held her in his arms the whole night and she hasn't slept that well in forever.

"I just wanna stay exactly like that," Chandler says and tightens his grab around her waist. "I don't ever want to move away from you."

They haven't really talked after their first kiss yesterday, but only because it wasn't necessary. As soon as their lips met they both knew that this is something special, something you don't really have to talk about. They felt their connection, stronger than any time before and this feeling was enough for them to drift in a comfortable and deep sleep. Chandler couldn't believe that all of this is really happening now. He didn't really allow the thought of them together enter his mind lately, because he was so sure that she will never break up with Simon. But now, that she is lying in his arms, he knows that he is never gonna let her go. She is way too precious.

"That's fine by me," Monica mumbles and snuggles closer to him.

Chandler smiles. The good sleep really helped Monica to look a lot better than yesterday. Of course also the big smile on her face helps. He can't believe that he is responsible for that smile.

"That was a joke, Mon. Well, it's true, I want to always be close to you, but I think you really need a day outside of this room."

"No," Monica pouts. "I don't want to."

"You sound like a three-year old, Mon," Chandler laughs. "Seriously, how often have you left this room in the last few days?"

Monica sighs. "Never," she admits. He knows her too well.

"Monica, you can't do that. You can't just stay in her for days, without ever seeing the daylight and …"

"I had to, Chandler," Monica interrupts him. "I missed you and I felt closest to you in here."

Chandler sighs and kisses her hair. How can he be angry at her for not leaving her room when he was the one who made her stay in here? "Oh, Mon, I'm so, so sorry," he begins, but Monica interrupts him. "You don't have to. It wasn't your fault, Chandler."

"Well, I think it was. I don't know what got into me. I don't know why I thought leaving without telling you goodbye was a good idea. I can only try to make it up to you, and I will, I promise!"

Monica lifts up her head and reaches up to him to give him a sweet kiss on the lips. "I'm sorry, too."

"You didn't do anything you'd have to apologize for," Chandler tells her.

"I do. Sorry for yelling at you and for telling you that I don't want to see you ever again. My god, Chandler, if I'd have known you'd take that literally I would have never said that. I should have never said that anyway, because no matter what happens, I always want to see you again. You are just that important to me," she confesses and blushes a little bit.

"I don't know why I believed you. I don't know why I thought that you really don't want to see me again. I should have come to talk to you right away. I feel like an idiot, because I just ran away."

"You are not, Chandler. Okay, maybe you are sometimes, but that doesn't matter to me, because you are still the greatest person I know."

"I wouldn't have left if I'd have known that you'd need me."

"But you like your job in Tulsa, right?"

Chandler shrugs. "Well, I enjoy it a lot more than the job I had here. The work is definitely more exciting and my colleagues are great. I …"

"Did you already have a meeting to advertise me?" Monica jokes.

Chandler laughs. "No, because from now on the only lucky guy who is able to enjoy the best girl in this world is going to be me!" He tickles her stomach and Monica begins to giggle.

"Okay," she breaths. "What do you have planned for today, you lucky guy?"

"Umm, how about you start with a nice shower and then we go out and grab some breakfast somewhere?"

"Sounds good, but it wouldn't be a problem to make some breakfast over at my …"

"No! Today I'm going to spoil you, Monica. You don't have to lift a finger."

"Okay, fine. But then I want to spoil _you_ in the shower," Monica gives him a wink.

Chandler coughs. "I don't think we would be able to grab breakfast when we'd do that, honey," he smirks.

"Oh, so is that a no, _honey_?" Monica emphasizes the honey as a response to his use of the term of endearment. She loves when he calls her that, but she also loves to tease him.

"Yes, as hard as it is, it is a no. Shower for you and breakfast for both of us. And then we can plan our day."

"I can't wait," Monica smiles and gives him a quick peck on the lips. Then she jumps out of bed happily and hurries into her apartment to enjoy a much needed shower.

Chandler watches her as she leaves and shakes his head. When he left Tulsa just a few hours ago, he had no idea what to expect from his trip to New York. He didn't know how his friends – and especially Monica – would react to him coming to New York. And he especially didn't know that he is going to tell Monica all about his feelings. He had no idea. But he had to do it. Because last night, when she asked him why he left, he knew one thing for sure: if he doesn't tell her now, he never will. So he told her about his feelings towards her and was scared. So scared, because he knew that that could be the moment their friendship is ruined. But it wasn't. She somehow feels the same way and Chandler doesn't know how he got so lucky.


	16. Chapter 16

_I loved writing this chapter and hope you like it as well. Tell me if you do. :)_

"Would it be impolite to ask for another muffin?" Monica asks sheepishly.

Chandler smiles at Monica's question. They decided to have breakfast at a coffee shop further away from their apartments. That way they can be sure to not run in any of their friends. They both agreed to talk to them later this day, but wanted to spend some time alone first. Luckily none of their friends were there when they left, but Chandler thinks that they did that on purpose. They might have sensed that they need some time just the two of them.

"Would it be impolite to ask for another kiss?" He asks back, smiling teasingly.

Monica chuckles. "You had like a million kisses this morning already."

"Well," Chandler shrugs. "And you had like a million muffins already."

"That is not true!" Monica laughs. It weren't a million muffins. But she definitely had a lot for breakfast already. She can't help it though. She hasn't eaten much during the last few days and weeks. She was just not in the mood to eat something, but now – once she started – she can't stop. She's starving and since Chandler offered to spoil her today, she's definitely going to take advantage of that. "Well, it's just because I didn't eat much before today."

"And I didn't get to kiss you much before today," Chandler smiles.

"You can't just turn around every sentence I say, Chandler."

"Well, apparently I can."

Monica rolls her eyes. Chandler is having way too much fun right now. She can see it in his eyes. They are sparkling like crazy. She leans forward across the table and gives him a quick kiss on the lips.

"Now get me a muffin," she orders, but is smiling nevertheless. She's glad they are back to best friends, but it's so much more fun with all the flirting, kissing and touching that is going on right now.

Chandler gets up. "That wasn't even a kiss. I should get you just the crumb of a muffin," he mumbles grumpily and makes his way to the counter.

Monica smiles while watching him. How didn't she realize it earlier? He's the perfect match for her. There is no way she would ever find someone she likes more than him. But other than that, she also trusts him blindly and can't imagine not wanting to spend time with him in the future.

He's coming back to their table, still a disappointed look on his face because of the kiss she gave him. She knows that he is just acting all of that, but it hurts to see him like that nevertheless. She doesn't want to see that sad look on his face, ever again. He brought her the biggest chocolate chip muffin and puts it right before her. Monica can't help but get up and pull his face down to hers. She gives him a much longer and more passionate kiss than the one before, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him even closer to her.

"What was that?" Chandler asks, after he takes a deep breath.

"Oh, sorry," Monica falls down on her chair again. "I must have confused you with the muffin." She laughs out loud at the look on his face now. Then she takes a big bite of her muffin and looks at Chandler cheekily.

"You," he points his finger at her and sits down across from her again. "are going to hell. You know that, right?"

Monica is still laughing, completely at ease with Chandler and their breakfast date.

"Mhm, that muffin is so good," she sighs.

"Can I have a bite?" Chandler asks.

"Are you kidding me? I would never give away one tiny little crumb of that delicious treat." Although their conversation was very casual, Monica is very serious right now. There are certain things you don't do. And sharing the best muffin ever is definitely a thing you don't do. Even if the guy across from you would definitely deserve trying it.

"Hey, you wouldn't even have that muffin if it wasn't for me."

"Sure, and I'm very thankful for that. But I'm never, ever sharing it. It's too damn good." Monica looks at the muffin. "Yes, you! You are soooo good," she moans and rolls her eyes ecstatically.

"Get a room," Chandler laughs.

"Oh, I definitely would. But I don't want to be impolite and leave you here alone."

"Feel free to leave. I think I would rather have breakfast with that girl over there. It looks a lot cheaper to go out with her – she is only eating some fruits."

"Wow, Chandler, looking at other girls?"

"Actually, I feel sorry for the guy. He has to spend the morning with such a dull date. I mean, would you look at her? She is not even listening to him."

Monica turns around to look at the couple Chandler is watching at the moment. They are not having as much fun as she and Chandler do, that's for sure. The man casts a glance at their direction and Monica turns around again quickly.

She takes another bite of her muffin and laughs. "Chandler, I think the guy feels sorry for _you_ , because you have to spend the morning with a girl that apparently has no control over herself. He's probably even imagining me in a few years, all fat and ugly."

"He shouldn't worry. We can go for a run later and all of the muffins you ate are forgotten."

"I thought you don't move on Sundays," Monica smiles.

"Well, maybe I could get convinced. I have a pretty good personal trainer."

"You had. If I remember correctly, you fired her."

"I didn't fire her, she just stopped showing up."

"Maybe she realized that you are an idiot."

"I am. But she forgave me and now she is eating a million muffins just to get back on me."

"Maybe that's why this guy is staring at you. Maybe he is wondering if you are a really rich guy and I'm just dating you for a lot of free food and stuff," Monica suggests, loving their game.

"I think he is jealous, because you are the most beautiful woman in the world."

Monica looks up at him. Their conversation has been casual and flirty all the time, but now he is looking at her with a serious look on his face.

"Chandler …"

"No, don't say anything, Monica. You … I love to watch you, because … well, when you laugh, your whole face lights up and I have never seen anything more beautiful."

Monica feels tears at the corners of her eyes at the sincerity of Chandler's words. She always assumed that – even on dates – Chandler would crack one joke after the other. She never imagined him to be the romantic kind of guy. His words left her speechless. She doesn't know what to say, so she breaks the last piece of her muffin in half and puts one half on Chandler's plate.

"Try it. It's not anywhere near as sweet as you though," she says, her voice shaky due to the tears that are still waiting at the corners of her eyes.

Chandler takes a bit and smiles. "I didn't know you ever tasted me, Mon," he says with a big smile on his face and Monica breaks out into laughter. Two tiny little tears roll down her cheeks and she wipes them away before anyone notices. A first date has never felt like that before and she knows for sure that this is just the beginning of something amazing.

* * *

Later that day they are walking through Central Park. They decided they need a bit of exercise after everything they have eaten. None of them was very keen to go for a run though, so they decided to just go for a walk in the park. The sun is shining and it's possible to walk around outside with just a light jacket.

Monica takes a deep breath. It feels so good to be in the fresh air, just doing something. After all the time she spent in bed, it's a relief to move her legs once again. The very best thing though is that Chandler is holding her hand. He grabbed it when they were leaving the coffee shop and never let go since then. Monica has never been the girl who wants to hold hands the whole time. She always grinned about the couples who couldn't let go of each other for just one second. How hard could it be to let go for just a few minutes? She never needed to touch her previous boyfriends all the time. But she can't complain now. Because with Chandler it's different. It doesn't restrict her and she actually wants to hold his hand all the time. She can't even imagine not being near Chandler for a second. It really got her hard. They are only experiencing this new path of their relationship for a few hours now and she is already thinking about a future. That's soon, even for Monica.

"What are you thinking about, Mon?" Chandler asks and Monica looks at him. She hasn't even realized how far her thoughts went. Chandler would probably freak out if he'd know what she is thinking right now.

"I … umm … it was … I was just thinking about … umm …"

"What is it, Monica? Come on, you can tell me." Chandler is now looking at her and Monica smiles at the concern on his face.

"It's nothing. I was just thinking about how happy I am that you came back. If someone would have told me yesterday morning that today I'm gonna be able to spend all day with you and even do this," Monica stops to give him a quick kiss. "I would have told him he's crazy."

"I wouldn't have dared to imagine it either," Chandler confesses and wraps his arm around her shoulder as they keep on walking. "But you are glad I came, right?" Chandler asks, his insecurity written all over his face.

Monica wraps her arms around his waist and nods. "Of course, Chandler. I have never been happier. I can't believe you came back just to see me."

"Oh," Chandler interrupts her. "Mon, you got something wrong here. Actually, I came back to see Joey. I couldn't live without him … ouch!"

Monica has pulled away from him and hit his shoulder.

"What?" Chandler asks innocently. "You always knew that I love Joey the most!"

Monica starts to chase him over the lawn. Chandler laughs. He has never enjoyed a relationship more. With his other girlfriends he was always afraid of losing them if he'd show them his real self. So he didn't make as many jokes as he usually did, tried to not tease the girl too much because he didn't know if she'd understand. Monica though, Monica knows him. Sometimes she even knows him better than he does. He doesn't have to act like he's someone else and that relaxes him a lot. He wouldn't lose Monica because of a stupid joke or the way he's teasing her, he knows that for sure.

He's turning around the second she jumps at him and they both stumble and fall to the ground. Chandler pulls her close so she doesn't land on the grass. They are both laughing loudly as they lay there, Monica on top of him. She leans down and starts to kiss him. "So," she asks between kisses. "What about Joey now?"

"Who's Joey?" He laughs before he pulls down her face again. Her lips are definitely addicting. He tasted them once and now he can't stop.

Monica catches her breath and rolls down from him so he can breathe freely as well.

"We should get up," he says after a while.

"I don't want to," she mumbles and puts her head down on his shoulder.

"But the grass is cold and I don't want you to get sick."

"Chandler, why did you set me up with Simon?" Monica suddenly asks. She loves lying in the sun with him and doesn't want to move right now. The sun is nice and warm and she doesn't think that they will get sick if they lay here for a little bit. And there is this one question on her mind, a question she has to ask urgently.

Chandler sighs. "You wanted a boyfriend and he asked me about you. You were happy with him, right?"

"Yes, I was," she nods. "But if I'd known that you are an option, I … I wouldn't have gone out with him, Chandler."

"Back then _I_ didn't even know that we are an option."

"That's what I wanted to know: you weren't feeling anything towards me when you set us up. But what changed between my first date with Simon and the day you left New York without telling me? What, by the way, makes me still angry just to think about."

"I'm so sorry, Monica. I know I already said that, but I really am. I don't think I can ever forgive myself that I left you. I … it …"

"Chandler," Monica interrupts him. "You should forgive yourself, because I forgave you."

"You did?" Chandler can't really believe that. How can she forgive him so quickly for something so stupid?

"I did the second you told me about your feelings towards me. It's still stupid, but I understand you."

"Thank you."

"So, can you forgive yourself?"

"I … I don't know … it's hard …"

"Chandler," Monica sighs and sits up, pulling him up with her. They are sitting next to each other now and she cups his cheeks with her hands. "Please, do it for me. It's important. I don't want a big shadow like that over our relationship. I don't want you to apologize to me every time I make a joke about you leaving. And there are probably gonna be a few of those in the near future," she laughs lightly. "That you left is not the problem, Chandler. Because you came back. You came when I needed you the most and that alone made up for everything that has happened before."

"Okay." Chandler nods.

"Okay?"

"Yes. It's forgotten. And … I would really love to join in with the jokes. As you must now, I love this kind of things."

Monica laughs and hugs him tightly. "That's alright. We can joke together, okay?"

"Okay."

"Now that that is clarified, tell me when you realized you feel differently towards me."

Chandler sighs. He has hoped she would forget about that, but he should have known better. It's Monica he is talking to, this woman never forgets anything important. "Do you remember the day I pushed you away when you hugged me?"

"Yes. I was thanking you for setting me up with … Oh God, it was that moment?"

Chandler nods. "Yes. It just … it hit me then. Even before, every time Simon told me how great you are, I felt something weird in my stomach. I just didn't know what it is. Jealousy, I know that now. I … I didn't want to push you away, Mon. You've gotta believe that. Because even back when we weren't that close of friends, your hugs were always my favorite. But in that moment, I just needed some time alone … well, Ross didn't gave me much of that."

"Ross? What did he want?"

"He asked me if I finally realized that you're not just a friend to me."

"What? Ross?"

"Yes, Ross. I couldn't believe it either. But somehow he figured it out way before us."

"When?"

"He said he knew it right from the beginning. Something about how I look and smile at you, apparently."

"You do have the cutest smile," Monica nods. "But I can't believe he didn't tell us."

"That's how I first reacted, too. But think about it, Monica. What should he have done? Tell me that I should ask his sister out on a date? No brother would ever do that."

"But he could have talked to me."

"He could? Just imagine him coming up to you saying _Hey little sis, I know that my friend looks at you all goofily and in love. Bring it on_!"

"Ross never called me little sis," Monica grins. "But I get your point."

"We had to find out ourselves."

"And we did. A little late, but we did." Monica smiles happily. "I'm just sad that you found out when I was still seeing Simon. I can't even imagine how much it must have hurt you. And then you had to listen to me yelling at you."

"It was hard, but I survived," Chandler shrugs.

"Thank God you did. But you should have talked to me. I … I knew that something was going on with you and I even asked you about it and you didn't say anything. I feel so bad for not sensing what is going on with you. I should have known. I call you my best friend and I don't even realize when you are hurting? What kind of a friend am I? It's horr…"

"Mon, hey, what did we say earlier?" Chandler interrupts her whining. "Everything that is in the past is gone. We don't have to talk about it anymore."

"I'm gonna make it up to you," she promises.

"Nobody is gonna make anything up to anybody, Mon. We are just gonna make each other happy, not out of guilt, but because we want to. Okay?"

"Okay," she sighs, relieved. She couldn't stand either of them not happy as could be out of guilt. "Did we now cover all of the delicate and uncomfortable topics?"

"I have one last one," Chandler begins. He was wondering about that since Ross called him. It's now or never. "Why did you two … why did Simon …"

"Why did he break up with me?" Monica helps him.

"Yes, you don't have to talk about it if … if it's too hard for you."

"Are you kidding me? I'm lying here with the most perfect guy in the world. It's not too hard for me to talk about one who wasn't. It … it has actually something to do with you. I wasn't in a good place when I found out you left. Even when I was still with Simon, something was missing and I … he realized it. Of course he did, my thoughts were on you almost all the time. I wasn't … I wasn't a very good girlfriend. Then, one night I had this terrible nightmare and thought I'd lost you. So I went over to your room to check on you. But all I realized, once again, was that you left. When I woke up the next morning I was still in your bed and Simon was worried sick about what has happened to me. That was the day he decided to talk to me. He wanted to know who I'd rather want around me that moment. You or him. I couldn't give him the answer he wanted to hear so … he left. I think it was the right thing. He was a good guy and I had a lot of fun with him, but he wasn't the right one."

"Yeah?" Chandler asks. He can't believe what Monica is telling him right now. Even though he left, in the end he was the one who broke the two of them up.

"Yes. I … I noticed little things that annoyed me about him. Like, he never really wanted to know my opinion. All that counted were his thoughts. But other than that and some other things he was great. So I just assumed that that's normal. No one is perfect and there must be small things that aren't perfect in another person. When you asked me, I was happy, Chandler. I thought that I already have the most perfect friends, maybe that's why I can't have the perfect boyfriend. I didn't realize that one person can be both, my friend and my boyfriend."

Chandler smiles at her. "I'm glad you were happy with Simon. Don't get me wrong, I'm even happier now that you broke up, because … well, you know … but I'm glad that I didn't set you up with a horrible guy."

"You didn't. Setting me up with Simon was a good practice for your last time setting me up. Because finally you found the right guy for me."

"I really did, didn't I?"

"Yes," Monica kisses him. "But now, enough. It's time to have fun again."

"Okay," Chandler gets up and stretches his legs. Then he holds out one of his hands for Monica and pulls her up. "Let's go. I still have a lot planned for our date."

"This is the longest date I've ever been on," Monica moans.

"And is that a bad thing?" Chandler asks with one of his eyebrows raised.

"Not at all," Monica laughs and takes his hand in hers again. She is going to hold on to that man. Because she can't risk losing him.

* * *

"Chandler, are you sure we're in the right part of the city?" Monica asks. They have been walking across the city for almost an hour now, looking for a small restaurant Chandler wants to eat with her at, but he hasn't found it yet.

"Yes, we are almost there, I promise."

"This restaurant better be really good."

"It is. I know it. I went there with my mum, maybe five years ago or so. It was beautiful and the food was delicious. When we were there I promised myself that I'm going to take my girlfriend there one day. I haven't been there since, but I still know how the street looked like. It's right across the corner."

"You haven't been there since the dinner with your mum?" Monica asks curiously.

"Yes, why?"

"You promised yourself to take your girlfriend there. You never did that?"

"I'm doing it today. With my other girlfriends … I didn't feel like going there. It's something special and … I wanted to share it with someone special."

"I'm honored," Monica smiles. "I really thought you would have come here with Janice. You two seemed pretty serious."

"Maybe we were, but Janice … she wasn't the kind of girl you take to a special restaurant."

"Is it a fancy restaurant? Because …" Monica points to her jeans and the red shirt she is wearing. "I don't really have the right clothes on to go to a fancy restaurant."

"Hey, you look beautiful, Monica. And I'm not just telling you because I love how your whole face lights up whenever I tell you that. I'm telling you because it's true."

"So it's not a fancy restaurant?" She will never get enough of Chandler complimenting her, but she's still Monica. And Monica doesn't like women who don't dress appropriate for the occasion.

"It's not," Chandler smiles. He knows that things like that are important to Monica and it's his job to calm her down now. It doesn't even upset him that she didn't react to his compliment. "It's a small and very cute restaurant and the food is great, but it's not fancy. We are fine."

As a thank you Monica squeezes his hand that she is still holding. It's great to know that she doesn't have to act like she's someone else with Chandler.

"Chandler?" She asks cautiously after a few minutes of silence. "We have walked around the corner a few times now but we haven't found the restaurant yet. Are you sure it's still there?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"So you checked?"

"No, but it has to be there."

"Five years are a long time. Maybe …"

"Monica, it's still there. I'm sure about that," he snaps at her.

"I was just asking," Monica says, offended by the tone with what he talked to her.

Chandler stops walking and turns around to look at her. "I'm sorry. I don't want us to argue about something that stupid. It's just … I was looking forward to the dinner all day and … are you hungry?" he asks her. "Because if you are, we should eat here." He points to the door right next to him.

Monica laughs. "Honey, that's a bike shop."

"Oh, okay. What about here?" Chandler walks a few steps and stops right in front of an Indian restaurant.

Monica shakes her head. "You promised me your special restaurant and I wanna go there," she says.

"So you are not hungry yet?"

Monica shakes her head. "As long as we find your restaurant today, I'm fine." Actually, she's starving. She hasn't eaten anything since breakfast and even though she ate a lot more than normally it's been eight hours. But she knows that it's important to Chandler and she loves the fact that he thought a lot about the evening with her, so she doesn't want to ruin it.

And then they turn around a corner and see a small restaurant. That's the moment Monica knows that the long walk was totally worth it. Chandler's face light up like a little boy's one on Christmas morning and he turns to look at her excitedly. "That's it. Monica, we found it!" He shouts.

"That's so great. But you know what? I feel more like eating Indian food right now," Monica says carefully.

Chandler stares at her. "Really?" He asks. "Because we can go back to that place we passed a few minutes ago if you wa…"

"Chandler, I was kidding!"

"You … you … I don't even have a word for someone like you," he laughs. "If I wouldn't be so damn hungry myself I would get you home without any food, you know that?"

"Let's go inside, I'm starving as well," Monica laughs.

* * *

"And? What do you think?" Chandler asks after they finished with their desert. Monica hasn't said anything about the food yet and he's dying to know what she thinks. Her opinion is so important to him, even more because she is a chef.

"I can't even pick my favorite," she sighs. "It was all so damn good. And that pastry filled with warm chocolate we had for dessert? I would kill for the recipe."

Chandler smiles. "I'm so glad you liked it."

"I _loved_ it, thank you for taking me here."

"Thank you for coming with me."

"Thank you for … oh, we could do that all night, right?" Monica laughs.

Chandler laughs as well. They stare at each other intensely.

"Excuse me?" A waitress approaches their table and Chandler and Monica tear their eyes from each other. "These are for you." She points to the two glasses on the tray she is carrying. "It's on the house; a present from us for your anniversary."

"Miss? We are not on our anniversary," Monica smiles.

"Oh, sorry, I must have confused you with someone else. I'm so sorry, that has never happened before, but it just really looked like you two are celebrating something. You look so happy and comfortable with each other and … I'm sorry for disturbing you."

"Actually," Chandler begins. "It kinda is our anniversary." He casts a glance at his watch. "We are now officially dating for twenty hours. I think that is a good reason to celebrate."

Monica laughs. "Honey, that's not an anniversary."

"Oh, sure it is. What do you think?" Chandler turns to look at the waitress.

"Of … of course. I'm … enjoy the champagne," she stutters and puts the glasses down on their table.

Chandler grins as the confused waitress walks away. "You are impossible," Monica scolds, but is laughing anyway.

"I think I will celebrate every hour of being with you." Chandler gives her a wink. "What do you think?"

"I'm fine with that," Monica giggles.

* * *

"No, he didn't!" Monica laughs.

"I'm telling you," Chandler nods. "When he first moved in Joey would come to my room every night before he went to sleep because he was scared."

They are walking towards their building, each step slower than the one before. It seems like neither of them wants this day to end just yet.

"But why would he do that?"

"He was scared about the zombies in his room," Chandler explains.

"What?" Monica stops walking. "What made him think that? I mean, it's Joey, but believing there are zombies in your room? That's really weird, even for Joey."

"I might have told him that the guy who lived in the room before him had zombies as pets and that they might come back to visit."

Monica laughs until she tears up. How comes there are still things Chandler can tell her that she never heard before?

"But why?"

"Why? I'm Chandler. It was the first day Joey was there and you know how uncomfortable I am around people I don't know. I …"

"People you don't know?" Monica interrupts him. "You are uncomfortable around all the people in the world."

"Thank you, but that is not the point. I didn't know what to talk to him about and for a very short time there was this uncomfortable silence between us. Suddenly he asked me about my previous roommate and … nothing except the zombie thing came to my mind." Chandler shrugs. "I thought everyone would know that I'm only joking. Well, I haven't known Joey very well back then and he was really shocked. Then he introduced me to Baywatch and that was the moment we knew that we are gonna be best friends forever." Chandler smiles.

"What a nice story," Monica says. "Is he still scared of zombies though?"

"I don't think so," Chandler shakes his head. They have reached their building and slowly make their way inside.

"What are we gonna tell them?" Monica asks as they walk up the stairs in their building.

"Tell who?"

"Our friends, who are definitely waiting up there right now," Monica explains.

"Oh, I … I don't know. Do you think we should tell them?"

"Well, we just spend last night and the whole day together, I don't know how we could explain it."

"We could. We are Monica and Chandler, remember? We do stuff like that."

Monica grins. She loves how their names fit together when he says them.

"Assuming that we don't tell them. That means that you can't sleep in my bed tonight, right?"

"I could try to sneak over after everyone went to bed," Chandler suggests.

Monica laughs. "I think you'll be very bad at that. We would definitely get caught."

"It would be very hard to explain them." Chandler nods.

"Well, I don't want that," Monica simply says.

"Me neither. So we should just tell them. What's the worst that could happen? Actually, the worst I could think of is Ross killing me because I'm seeing his little sister. But that ain't gonna happen because he already knows about my feelings towards you and is also kinda rooting for us. So?"

"Are you ready?" Monica asks and squeezes his hand. They are now standing in front of their apartments and can already hear voices out of apartment 20.

"Yes … No! Wait a minute, Mon. I … I have something for you," suddenly Chandler blushes and looks to the floor.

"Hey, Chandler, what's up?" Monica asks and puts her hand on his cheek. "Look at me."

Chandler puts one of his hands into the pocket of his jacket and pulls out a white piece of paper.

"I … this is a thank you for this day. And also to remember this day forever. It is definitely the best day I ever had and I … I just want you to know that you mean so much to me, Monica. I can't wait to see where this is going."

He gives the paper to Monica. She looks at it and unfolds it. After she read the title her sight gets blurry. Tears are streaming down her face as she hugs Chandler. "Thank you," she mumbles. "How did you get it?"

"I asked when you went to the bathroom."

"No one ever did something like that for me, Chandler, really. I … thank you for being so awesome." She hides her face in his neck and feels him pressing his lips to her hair.

As soon as she stopped her tears from falling she reads the title again. It's Chandler's handwriting and he must have been in a hurry, because it's hard to read: _Secret Chocolate Pastry_ is written at the top of the recipe.

She has never gotten a better present.


	17. Chapter 17

_Nooo, I didn't forget about Tulsa. :) After that there is only one chapter and the epilogue left. :( I don't really want to leave this story, but I feel like it's all said after the next three chapters._

 _Thanks for your reviews so far and please tell me what you think about this one. :)_

"Hey guys," Monica and Chandler yell in unison as they enter apartment 20. They decided to let go off each other's hand, just to have some time to explain everything before everyone will go crazy.

Four heads turn around and four pairs of eyes look at them curiously.

"Where have you been?" Joey asks.

"We've been waiting for you all day," Phoebe adds.

Chandler and Monica look at each other. Here it goes.

"What is going on, you guys?" Rachel asks excitedly.

"Well, we haven't done anything special. Just went out for dinner," Chandler says casually and walks over to the fridge to get himself a bottle of water. He looks at Monica, who is still standing at the kitchen counter, questioningly and she nods. He gets a bottle for her as well and throws it towards her.

Monica catches it. "Thanks hon… Chandler," she smiles at him.

Both of them open their bottles slowly and take a sip. Monica can't look at Chandler. She would bursts out laughing if she did.

"Guys," Phoebe says and walks towards Monica. "We didn't wait here until now just to watch the two of you drink some water."

"We didn't ask you to wait for us," Chandler laughs.

"Oh, please! Just tell us what happened since Chandler came yesterday," Rachel suddenly shouts, not able to watch this any longer.

"Nothing big happened yesterday," Monica smirks. "Just a little kiss and …"

"… a lot of kisses today," Chandler completes her sentence. He holds his arms out for Monica and she, having missed him since they last kissed in the hallway, rushes towards him and hugs him tightly.

"What?" Rachel and Phoebe both yell.

"Dude," Joey smirks and pats Chandler's shoulder. "Who did you kiss?"

Ross rolls his eyes and gives Monica and Chandler a big hug. "I'm so happy for you. Please don't ever hurt her, Chandler," he whispers into Chandler's ear.

Chandler tightens his grip around Monica's waist and nods. "Never," he whispers back.

"Okay, I want to hear everything," Rachel exclaims.

"Woah, wait a minute," Joey suddenly says. "You kissed Monica?" Shock and disbelieve is written all over his face.

"Yeah," Chandler nods happily. "But, in my defense," he adds. "She kissed me, too."

"You kissed him, too?" Joey turns to Monica, not quite getting what is going on just yet.

Monica nods. "I can do it again if you don't believe it." She pulls Chandler's face down to her until her lips meet his.

"Oh, I said I'm happy about you two, but I don't wanna see that," Ross groans and walks back towards the couch.

"I can't believe it," Phoebe sighs. She casts a sideglance towards Rachel. Rachel and she have already talked about the possibility of Chandler being in love with Monica, but never would Phoebe have imagined that Chandler's feelings are mutual.

"Come on, we want to know every little detail," Rachel says and she and Phoebe pull Monica away from Chandler and across the room.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Monica asks.

"We need a little girly talk right now, Monica," Rachel explains. "What happened last night?"

"Nothing… we just talked. And then … suddenly and out of nowhere he told me he has feelings for me. I … I didn't know what to say but after a while I really started thinking about it and now it's perfect."

"Perfect? With Chandler?" Phoebe asks, with one of her eyebrows raised.

"Yes, _he_ is." Monica smiles and looks at him. He is now sitting on the couch with the boys and they are … wait a minute? Is she hearing it correctly? Discussing the latest football results? That's so not fair. How comes she has to answer all the questions of the girls and he can talk to his friends about whatever he wants to?

"Oh, come on, Monica," Rachel rolls her eyes. "You have to give us some details. What exactly did he say?"

"How was your first kiss?"

"What did you do all of today?"

"Is he the romantic kind of guy?"

"How long has he been having feelings for you?"

"And how about you?"

"Mon?" Rachel asks. She hasn't been answering any of their questions. Well, she didn't have much time between them, but she didn't even try. "Monica? Are you there?"

But Chandler's eyes found Monica's across the room and they are now smiling at each other, oblivious to everything that is going on around them.

"Monica?" Phoebe shouts.

Monica looks at her two girl friends. "What?"

"Is it so hard to not look at him while you are talking to us?" She asks.

"Honestly?" Monica sighs. "Yes, it is. Don't look at me that way, it's true. I can't stand not being next to him right now. My hand feels lonely without his and … and I just miss him." She has tears in her eyes because of all the things she is feeling right now.

"Chandler?" Phoebe yells. "Monica misses you."

Chandler looks at the girls. Then he gets up and walks towards them. "I'm sorry, guys," he turns to look at Ross and Joey. "But my girl needs me," he grins widely and in a way that is so typical for Chandler and rushes towards Monica to clasp her in his arms.

"Honestly though," Rachel begins again. "How did you two … and so fast?"

Monica can see that it's really bothering Rachel and that she is dying to get to know something. No one loves gossip more than Rachel and now it concerns two of her closest friends – of course she wants to know. But all Monica wants to do right now is be with Chandler. Even though she spend the whole day with him only and he is standing right next to her, his arm wrapped tightly around her, she actually misses their time alone right now. No questions, no looks, just the two of them, enjoying each other's presence.

"And how come you didn't tell any of us?" Joey, who is still shocked by what he found out today, asks. He had no idea that his roommate had feelings for their neighbor or vice versa and can't believe they got from friends, who haven't talked to each other in a few weeks, to all in love, smiley and happy in like twenty-four hours.

"I'm really sorry, guys, but I have to get up early tomorrow," Chandler says and pulls Monica into her bedroom quickly.

Back in the living room Ross moans. "Chandler, don't you dare staying in my little sister's bedroom tonight!"

But Chandler can't even hear him anymore, he has already closed the door and is kissing Monica hungrily.

"I thought you are happy for the two of them," Rachel says to Ross.

"I am. But I don't want to picture them doing … you know …"

"Can you believe how happy they are?" Phoebe asks, shaking her head.

"I can't believe Chandler didn't tell me about all that," Joey says.

"I can't believe how happy they both are," Phoebe repeats. "I mean, have you seen Monica since Simon broke up with her? She was devastated, depressive and now … that doesn't even seem like the same woman. Within a few hours she turned into a happy woman who couldn't stop looking and smiling at her boyfriend, unbelievable."

"I think it's great," Rachel says. "They both deserve each other so much." Her other friends nod. "And I can't wait to hear about everything. I'll give them tonight, but she can't avoid my questions tomorrow!"

* * *

"That's was such a good excuse you made up," Monica says after a while. They are now sitting on Monica's bed, all cuddled up with each other.

"What do you mean?" Chandler asks.

"Well, the thing you said about how you have to get up early tomorrow. Perfect way to stop them from asking curious questions."

"It kinda wasn't an excuse I made up," Chandler mumbles quietly.

"What? What do you mean?"

"I … I have to go see my boss tomorrow. Talk to him about my … situation."

"Oh my God," Monica buries her face in her hands. "I'm so stupid. I was so busy being happy, I didn't even think about the fact that you have a job you probably have to go back to."

"Hey!" Chandler pulls her hands away from her face. "You're not stupid, Monica. I … I didn't want to say anything before, because I didn't want that thought to ruin our perfect first date. I wanted you to not think about it." He smiles.

"So, are you going back to Tulsa?" She asks slowly and tightens her grab around his waist at the same time. The thought of letting him go after she just got him makes her heart ache.

"I'm gonna ask my boss if it's possible to get my old job back," Chandler explains, having decided on that right after they first kissed last night. "No way I'm leaving you, Mon. If that's what you're afraid of," he says softly.

"Do you think you're gonna be able to get your old job back?"

"I don't know. My boss wasn't very happy when I left Tulsa. He was supposed to come to see how I'm doing on Friday. But I think he still likes me, so yes, I think he's gonna give me my old job back."

"What did you tell him why you have to leave?"

"I … well, I couldn't really tell him the truth. So I called him from the airport, telling him something about an emergency in my family and how I just have to go to New York."

"I'm family?"

"You're everything," Chandler smiles.

"Oh, Chandler, you are everything to me, too."

They are both dwelling on their own thoughts for a while.

"So, there is the possibility that you get fired, right?" Monica suddenly asks.

"Yes," Chandler nods. He hates that thought, but it definitely is possible.

"And you said you actually liked your job in Tulsa, right?"

"Well, not enough to …"

"Chandler? You told me about it last night. You said that you enjoy it a lot more than your job here in New York. And that you like your colleagues and …"

"Yes, Monica, that is true. But all of that doesn't matter. I don't want to leave you, so I have to take my old job again."

"You don't have, too," Monica says slowly.

"Do you wanna get rid of me?" He jokes.

"No," Monica shakes her head. "I'm going to Tulsa with you."

"What?" Chandler's jaw drops. "You … you can't do that, Monica!"

"Oh, so you're the only one who is allowed to leave?"

"No, but … you can't just leave everything behind here. Our friends will be devastated, you can't leave them."

"What is holding me here, Chandler?" Monica asks. "I'm currently looking for a job, but I can do that in Tulsa as well. My best friend and my boyfriend are both in Tulsa. And my other friends are old enough, they can deal with it."

"I'm not sure Joey can," Chandler grins.

"Well, he's just gonna have to," Monica decides. "Because that wasn't a question, Chandler. If you like the job in Tulsa more than the one in New York, you should go to Tulsa. And if you are going to Tulsa, I want to go with you."

"You really mean that?" Chandler looks at her, not believing that she would actually do that for him.

Monica laughs. "Of course. Chandler, why is it so hard to believe me?"

"I … I don't know," Chandler shrugs. "I guess I just didn't imagine that anyone would ever do something like that for me. I don't feel like I'd deserve it."

"Hey, you totally deserve that. And I'm a lot more egoistic than you'd think right now. I finally found the perfect boyfriend, I'm not gonna live in another state than he does now."

"Really? Where does your perfect boyfriend go?" Chandler jokes.

"He's going to Tulsa."

"Hey, that's where I'm going."

"Unbelievable!" Monica giggles. "So we are sure? We are going to Tulsa?" It sounds weird just saying it. But she has never been surer to do anything than that. She would do anything for Chandler and she _will_ do anything to make him realize that he totally deserves it.

"I'll talk to my boss tomorrow, but I think, yes." Chandler shakes his head. "How are we gonna explain that to the guys?"

"I don't know. But …" Monica takes a deep breath. "But maybe it's good that we are going to live in another state for a while. You know, I love them all so much, but it is very exhausting with them around. We were with them only for a couple of minutes and they were already asking thousands of questions. Maybe it's good that we get to spend some time alone first to figure everything out."

"Yes, you're right. And Tulsa is not forever. We can come back any time."

"I know."

"You are wonderful, you know that?"

"I don't know about that …"

"Yes, you are. There are very, very few women who would do that for their boyfriend."

"Well, then they just haven't found the right one yet," Monica smiles and snuggles closer to Chandler.

She is really moving to Tulsa with Chandler? That's probably the biggest decision she ever had to make. But at the same time it was also the easiest.


	18. Chapter 18

_Thank you for your reviews and support so far. Tell me what you think of the last chapter before the epilogue. :)_

"Promise you call. And visit!" Joey looks at Chandler with a serious look on his face.

"We will definitely do that, Joey. And you can come visit us any time."

They are all standing at the airport, the plane which takes Monica and Chandler to Tulsa leaving soon. Chandler didn't know how to explain their friends that they are both leaving now, but Monica was prepared to tell them and they actually understood. They are sad, but they understand. Chandler still doesn't know what he did to deserve Monica. Never in a million years would he have thought that a girl will once leave her home and come live in another state with him. He didn't even know that that is possible. He doesn't know how yet, but he promised himself that he is going to make her the happiest she's ever been. Maybe she already is. She has a big smile on her face all the time. And the best thing is: Chandler knows it's because of him.

"Well, I don't know if I can afford a plane ticket to another continent," Joey shrugs.

Chandler looks at Ross and rolls his eyes. "Tulsa is in America, Joe!"

Joey's eyes grow wide. Then he laughs and pulls Chandler into a hug. "I'm really going to miss your jokes, Chandler."

Chandler shrugs and casts an amused glance at Ross. "Maybe, one day soon you will get a great actor job and can actually afford a ticket to Oklahoma, Asia's most beautiful country," Chandler tells Joey.

"I can't believe Mon is going to Asia with you," Joey shakes his head.

Chandler shakes his head as well and turns to Ross.

"Take good care of her, Chandler," Ross pats Chandler on the shoulders and gives him a quick hug.

"I will do that, Ross," he promises and smiles at Monica, who is standing a few yards away from him, hugging Rachel and Phoebe.

"You are sure you are doing the right thing?" Rachel asks, for the hundredth time.

Monica nods. "Yes, Rachel. There is no thing I'm surer about. I can't not go." Her eyes lock with Chandler's.

"You really love him, right?" Rachel asks.

Monica looks back at her roommate. "Yes, I do. I really do."

"Does he know that?" Phoebe asks, pointing at Chandler.

"I haven't said it to him yet, if that's what you mean. I … I don't want to pressure him. He will tell me whenever he's ready. But I'm sure he knows. I know he does."

"If I would have known it's that easy …" Phoebe sighs.

"What?"

"Setting you up with the perfect guy. We had everything: a sketch, different important characteristics, a mind map, a plan. But in the end he was right in front of you the whole time."

"Well, you can't organize love," Monica smiles.

"And that coming from Monica," Phoebe says and Rachel laughs. "Love really changes you."

"But not that much," Monica warns and looks at her two friends warningly. "I still like things clean. So if I come back and the apartment is not up to my standards, you two are in terrible trouble."

To help Rachel with the rent Phoebe is going to live with her for a little while. She said that she and her grandma needed a break anyway and they are now both so looking forward to living together.

"Oh, what could you possibly do to us?" Phoebe laughs.

"I'll send my boyfriend and he'll kick your ass!"

"Chandler?" Phoebe is still laughing.

"I see your point," Monica shrugs. "Well, you two have fun. And come visit us, please! I bet Tulsa's a lot of fun!"

"Are you trying to sugarcoat your new home?"

"Well, I guess New York will always be my home," Monica confesses. "But I'm with Chandler and the place we're at doesn't even count."

"It's because Chandler's your home now," Phoebe says.

"What? Phoebe! A home's a place, not a person," Rachel explains.

But Phoebe shakes her head. "That's what most people think. But it's actually the person you love who makes a home."

"I don't think that …"

"Well," Phoebe interrupts Rachel. "Monica, you said New York is your home, right?"

Monica nods, not knowing where Phoebe is going with this.

"But did it feel like a home when Chandler wasn't there?"

Monica blushes. She doesn't like to think back to the time when Chandler was in Tulsa and Simon left her. It was a horrible time, but she also thinks that she was a horrible friend back then. Her friends tried everything to help her, but she didn't even talk to them.

"No," she confesses. "I think Phoebe is right, Rach."

"Oh, okay, then I have yet to find my home," she mumbles, a little bit of sadness in her eyes.

"You will. If Chandler and I can find someone you can definitely, too!"

"Thanks, Mon, I'll hold you to it," Rachel smiles.

"Monica?" Chandler suddenly yells and she turns around to him. "We really have to go now."

Monica nods and pulls Rachel and Phoebe close. "I'll miss you two. Take care and … I'll see you soon."

The three girls walk towards the boys and Monica's hand finds Chandler's immediately.

"Have a save flight!" Ross says and gives Monica one last hug.

"Take good care," Rachel says with tears in the corner of her eyes.

"You ready?" Chandler asks and squeezes her hand.

"I am."

With a last smile for their friends they start to walk towards the gate. Before they turn around the corner, Monica looks at her friends once more. Rachel is now crying, but Ross has his arms around her. Maybe, Monica thinks and smiles, maybe Rachel is going to find her _home_ very soon.

* * *

Later that day Chandler is sitting in the airplane, staring out of the window. It's the exact same seat he sat on when he flew to Tulsa last time. What an irony. When he was here last time he was sad. Sad, because he knew the fact that he's leaving will change everything. Now everything _has_ changed. He doesn't think he was ever this happy and the thought of living in another state doesn't scare him anymore. The tears that were running down his face a month ago made place for a huge smile. And he likes the smile so much better. Last time he was here he thought that he is doing the right thing. Now he _knows_ he's doing the right.

And all because of the woman next to him. She changed everything in only a few hours and even though it's been only two days he spend in New York it feels like he has been going out with Monica forever.

He turns around to smile at her. She is flipping through a magazine she found in the bag on the seat in front of her. She hasn't noticed that he is watching her yet. She flips the page and her face turns red. Then she waves to the stewardess who is just closing the over-head lockers.

"Excuse me," Monica says and shows the magazine to the young woman. "A lot of pages of this magazine are crinkled and there are pages that are even torn apart. I can't read it that way. Would you get me another one?"

Chandler watches as the stewardess' face turns from genuinely friendly to one with a forced smile in just a few seconds. "Of course," she gives Monica a fake smile and walks to the front of the airplane, probably rolling her eyes.

"I guess all the stewardesses know you're a freak by now," Chandler smiles and Monica turns around to look at him in shock. She didn't know Chandler was witnessing this little scene. He was in his own thoughts, just staring out of the window, so she decided to read a little bit.

"I … I … just can't concentrate on the text when the magazine is that messy. I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize, Monica. And you know what?"

"You don't care?" She says, her eyes looking at him hopefully.

"No, I don't care. But that was not what I wanted to say."

"What were you gonna say?" Monica asks.

"I love you," Chandler says softly.

"You love me? Even though I just asked for a new magazine because some of the pages were crinkled?"

"I love you because of that," Chandler confesses. "All the things you do would drive me crazy if it would be another woman doing them. But with you … these things just make me love you more, Monica."

Monica has tears in the corner of her eyes. She never imagined Chandler to tell her these words so soon. "I love you, too," she whispers and pulls his head down to kiss him.

Chandler sinks into the kiss and forgets everything around them.

"Miss? Miss?" The voice of the stewardess ends their kiss and she holds out a new magazine to Monica.

But Monica has her arms all wrapped around Chandler and doesn't want to change her current position. "Thanks, but I don't need that," she smiles at the stewardess, who – this time – rolls her eyes for real. But Monica doesn't even notice that. She buries her face in Chandler's chest.

"Thanks for leaving your home and coming to Tulsa with me," Chandler says softly as he strokes Monica's back.

"New York is not my home, you are," Monica simply says, her head still on his chest.

"What?"

Monica sits up again. "First I didn't get it either. But Phoebe explained it to me."

"Phoebe's really clever," Chandler grins. "So what did she say?"

"That sometimes, sometimes home is not a place, but a person."

Chandler tightens his grip around Monica and thinks about what she just said. She might be right. _Phoebe_ might actually be right. That would also explain why he hasn't felt home in Tulsa, even though he really enjoyed his job. And why – from the very first day he moved in – he always felt more at home in Monica's apartment than in his own.

Now the flight attendants sit down as well and the plane starts to make its way towards the runway. Chandler takes one last look at New York City, then he locks his eyes with Monica's.

"I love you, Monica," he whispers and kisses her softly, tears in the corner of his eyes as he once again contemplates how lucky he got.

The plane takes off towards the sky and Chandler doesn't think he can be any happier.

Four weeks ago he thought that letting her go is a good thing. Now he knows that letting her go is just not an option.


	19. Chapter 19

_I can't believe this story is coming to an end now. I really loved writing it and I'm so happy that you enjoyed reading it. At least I hope you did. :) Thank you so much for sticking with this one, even with the sad parts. And an even bigger_ thank you _to all of you who reviewed. Each and every review totally made my day and I hope that you will leave one final review to let me know what you think of the epilogue and the whole story._

 **Epilogue**

"Okay, tell them I'm coming, Nancy." Monica hangs up the phone quickly and runs her finger through her hair nervously. What was she doing? She just accepted a job in New York without even talking to Chandler about it. She can't believe she did that. Well, actually she can, because it seems like such a great job. Chandler won't be happy though. As soon as he comes home from work she has to tell him. Maybe he'll understand. Hopefully he will.

When Chandler opens the door to the small apartment they live in in Tulsa, Monica rushes towards him. "Chandler, I'm so, so sorry," she begins. He isn't even able to close the door. "I know I should have talked to you first, but it was like a once in a lifetime opportunity and if I wouldn't have said yes right at the beginning I'm sure they wouldn't have called me again. It's a great job and I just had to … I'm so sorry. Please don't be mad!"

"Okay," Chandler laughs. "First of all, hi honey," he puts his bag down and gives Monica a kiss. "And now tell me what happened, but slowly. Because I'm tired and pretty sure I didn't get one word you just said."

"Okay," Monica nods and takes a deep breath. They sit down at the kitchen table together. "Nancy just called. I know her from culinary school and her brother's friend has a restaurant, _Alessandro's_. He is looking for a head chef and asked Nancy. But Nancy already has a great job she loves, so she thought of me. And they are really interested in getting to know me. Nancy said I have really good chances to get the job."

"That's so great, sweetie," Chandler says excitedly. "Where is this restaurant?"

"It's … that's the problem … it's not in Tulsa, it's in New York."

Chandler's jaw drops. "You got offered a job as head chef in New York?"

"Yes, and I was so excited I told Nancy yes. But I'm gonna call her right now. She doesn't know I live in Tulsa now, but I do and I can't work in New York while living in Tulsa, I mean, that's just not possible."

"That would be a rather long way to commute," Chandler smiles.

"I know."

"But you got offered a job as head chef in New York City? That's like, your biggest and longest dream, I suppose!"

"Yes, but I won't take it."

"You should, Monica."

"I kno… what?"

"You should take the job."

"Do you wanna get rid of me?" She jokes, just like he had when she told him to go to Tulsa.

"No, but I'm going back to New York with you."

"What?" Monica's jaw drops. "You … you can't do that, Chandler!"

"Oh, so you're the only one who is allowed to do that for the person you love?"

"We can't move from one city to another every time one of us finds another job."

"No, but being a chef is your dream. My job was always supposed to be only for a short period of time. Since the moment you promised me to come to Tulsa with me I knew that we will go back as soon as you find a better job, Monica."

"Really?"

"Of course. I mean, you have waited so long for an opportunity like that. I won't let you say no to it. I think it will actually be good for me to quit that stupid job. I liked my job much more here in Tulsa, but it's not my dream."

"What is your dream, Chandler?"

"Well, my dream is to grow old with you."

"Chandler."

"What? I'm serious, that is my biggest dream. But job-wise, I don't know what I wanna do. But I can figure it out once we are back in New York."

"I don't know. Maybe we should stay here. I mean, we both have jobs here. It's unreasonable to quit both of our jobs when we could end up with no job at all in New York." Monica shrugs, already grabbing the phone to dial Nancy's number.

But Chandler stops her. "Mon, you hate your job here."

"It's not that bad," she says elusively.

"How long have you been working at _So Cheesy_ now, Monica? Ten months? Just last week you told me you can't even eat cheese anymore."

"Well, I didn't like cheese very much anyway."

"Mon, you always wanted to go to France and eat nothing but cheese and bread."

"I knew it was a bad idea to date someone who knows me inside out," Monica groans.

"There is a good chance you'll get the job in New York, right?" Chandler asks.

Monica nods slowly. "Nancy said they really want me."

"Okay, then give me that phone."

"Why?"

"Because I'm calling me boss to tell him I quit."

"No, Chandler, don't do that so quickly. I … I'm confused." Monica's head is already hurting. "I don't think that you should make such a decision within just a few minutes."

"But you did just that when you left New York."

"Yes, I know. But I had nothing to lose. I didn't have a job, but you … you have one. You might not like it, but you still get paid and … we can't throw that away until we know I get the job in New York."

"So what would you suggest?" Chandler knows that Monica's right. That's one of the first things he learnt in the beginning of their relationship: Monica is always right. Well, he already knew that from when they were just friends. But he doesn't want to be reasonable right now. He planned that since they went to Tulsa almost a year ago. After what she did for him he promised himself he will do the same for her once. And now that the moment is finally here she wants him to think about it?

"I kinda have an idea. I'm quitting at _So Cheesy_ , because this place sucks anyway. Then I'll fly to New York tomorrow and talk to the boss at _Alessandro's_. If I get the job, you'll talk to your boss and come to New York. If I don't, I'll come back to you and look for another job. Everything is better than this damn cheese place."

"I don't want to be apart from you for such a long time, Mon."

"Chandler, it's only a matter of two or three days."

"I know," Chandler smiles. "And it's a pretty good idea, too," he admits.

"So we are gonna do it?"

"Yes," Chandler nods. "Have I ever told you that you are the most amazing woman I know?"

"Well, I hope so!"

"I love you so much, Monica." Chandler gets up and pulls her into a hug.

"I love you, too, Chandler."

* * *

"I'm glad to have you on board, Miss Geller," Alessandro says and shakes Monica's hand.

"I … really?"

"Yes, we would like you to start on Monday next week, if that's in any case possible for you?"

"Sure … yes, of course. I can start on Monday." A big smile appears on Monica's face. The conversation was going really well, but she didn't want to get her hopes up yet. She knows that her résumé doesn't look very good for the position of head chef, but apparently Alessandro really liked her and the meal she cooked for him.

"Great, I will see you on Monday. I will also introduce you to the staff next week. They are really busy right now, so I don't want to interrupt them."

"Okay, thank you, Sir. See you Monday," Monica says and shakes his hand again. Then she leaves the office of her new boss and can't stop herself from doing a joyful leap once she's outside.

She can't believe she is going to be head chef at a nice restaurant. It was her dream for so long and sometimes she didn't even think that it is going to happen for her. Monica starts walking towards her old apartment. She can't wait to tell her friends. They were all so happy for her. Well, Phoebe was a bit sad that she might be moving back. She really enjoyed living with Rachel. But maybe, Monica thinks, maybe she can also ask Rachel to leave so Chandler and she have the apartment for themselves. They are only going out for a little over a year now, but they lived together in Tulsa so it wouldn't be a big deal to do just that in New York. She got used to it so quickly. Of course, during their first few weeks in their apartment in Tulsa, they fought a lot. About stupid stuff, but they also had some really serious fights. But they have always managed to make up the same day and never go to sleep being angry with each other. And now, she probably couldn't even live without Chandler in the same apartment anymore. Yes, Rachel and Phoebe will definitely have to move out in the next few days.

Excitedly Monica dials Chandler's number. She can't wait to tell him about her new job. It's still hard for her to believe he really offered to quit his job so they could move back to New York. Maybe that's how he felt when she offered to move to Tulsa with him. She's so lucky to have him. The last year has been amazing and …

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Who is it?"

"Me, the love of your life," Monica says with a big smile on her face.

"Hannah? I told you not to call me on that phone. Monica is going to freak out if she finds out about you."

"Wait a minute, you're not Jeffrey? Damn it, I got the wrong number again."

Chandler starts to laugh and Monica joins in.

"I win," she grins.

"It never gets boring, right?" Chandler asks.

"Never," Monica admits. They came up with that game a few months ago. Most of the times they call each other they have a fake conversation like that just to see who is the first one to laugh.

"So, why are you calling?"

"Just wanted to know how it's going in Tulsa?"

"It's going pretty good, actually. Hannah and I …"

"I got the job, Chandler," Monica bursts out with her news, not able to hold it in any longer.

"What? Are you kidding me?"

"No! I'm going to be the new head chef at _Alessandro's_!" Monica laughs out loud as she enters the building of her apartment.

"I'm so proud of you, honey!"

"Thank you. So, are you coming to New York?" That is the only thing that matters to her right now. Because she would go back to _So Cheesy_ in a heartbeat just to be near him.

"I … I know I promised you," Chandler begins. "But when you left I talked to Rachel and Phoebe and they don't want to move out at all and … well, we already have an apartment here in Tulsa and …"

"Oh, I understand …" Disappointment is written all over Monica's face. She always knew not to fully trust another person. With Chandler she forgot. But in the end it's always going to be her who's hurting.

"Monica?" She hears Chandler's voice in the distance, but hasn't got the strength to answer.

She opens the door to apartment 20 and there he is.

Smiling from one ear to the other and with his phone in one hand and flowers and a white piece of fabric in the other. "Welcome home, Monica."

Tears flood her eyes as she runs towards him. He catches her in his arm and spins her around. Then they share a passionate kiss.

"You are a jerk," Monica whispers between her sobs.

"I know," Chandler shrugs. "But you love me, right?"

"I do," Monica says, wiping some the tears on her face away. "I don't know why but I love you _so_ much. When did you come?"

"I left Tulsa right after you left."

"But we wanted to see how the interview is going before you do anything."

"You wanted to do that, Monica. I always knew that you are going to blow them away."

"What if I wouldn't have?"

"We would have found a way anyways," Chandler explains. Then he takes a deep breath. "Monica Geller, do you want to live here with me?"

"It's my apartment, Bing."

"Okay, am I allowed to live here with you?"

"What did you tell Rachel and Phoebe?"

"I can be very convincing," Chandler smiles. "Can I?" He asks seriously.

"I'd love that," Monica laughs and wraps her arms around him tightly.

"Oh, be careful. Don't kill the flowers."

"You got me flowers?"

"Actually, they are for Hannah. To say sorry for ending our affaire and …"

"Chandler," Monica interrupts him. "No jokes for a second?" She pleads.

"Okay, yes. These are your flowers."

"I love them."

"And there's something else." Chandler starts. "I hope you like it." He shows her a chef's hat that is white as snow. "It's … I think it's your first chef's hat and … I … I kinda wanted to be the one to give it to you. Because I wished for you to become a chef since the first time I met you. I always knew that you are going to be a great chef. One day you are probably the best and most famous chef in America and everyone will love you and everyone will want you in their kitchen. And I will have your back, always. I just want you to know that it doesn't matter to me what kitchen you're in. As long as you're in my bed, and only in my be… oh, sorry, I promised you not to joke for a second …" Monica laughs with a sob. "Okay, Monica, I don't want you and the world to forget, that … that after all … and it doesn't matter what's going to happen … you're _my_ number one girl, always. Okay?"

"Okay," Monica nods, tears streaming down her face. Chandler puts the hat on her hair tenderly and pulls her to his chest softly. Monica's heart feels like it's going to explode.

The two of them doesn't even hear the door opening.

"Oops, sorry," Joey says.

Monica and Chandler turns around, still wrapped in each other, and look at all of their four friends.

"You're coming back?" Rachel asks, but she already knows the answer. Chandler and Monica nod. "Finally," Rachel sighs and wraps her arms around both of them.

"Well, that's some good news," Phoebe says jumping up and down.

"The best news since the night you told us about the two of you," Joey adds and he, Ross and Phoebe join the hug as well.

I was wrong before, Monica thinks as she is getting squashed by her favorite people, _now_ it feels like my heart is going to explode. Monica wraps her arms tighter around Chandler as to let him now that she won't let him go. She had a sketch. She had a plan and a list of all the characteristics her boyfriend would need. But in the end, she didn't need any of it. Because no sketch, no plan and no list could ever describe Chandler. He is the perfect guy, she just hasn't realized it before. He is the one who makes her laugh. He is the one who stays with her in good or bad. He is the one who picks her up whenever she falls. He is the one who looks at her like she's the only girl in the world.

And he's the one she will love forever.


End file.
